Most guys tend to think of handjobs as something of a consolation prize when full-blown sex is off the table for whatever reason. We tend to think of handjobs as relics of our teen years when we were still experimenting and the person we were with didn't want to "go all the way" but still wanted to give/get a thrill out of the evening. In short, handjobs are thought of as something that happens when you can't get what you really want and have to settle for what you can get.
Now that we know what people seem to think handjobs are, let's take a hard look at what they really are:
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Handjobs Are Sex: As much as some of us liked to tell our teenage selves that we weren't having sex when we "just" gave a guy a handjob, we really were. Manipulating the sexual organs of another person with the intent to pleasure them is sex, people. It's as simple as that.
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Handjobs Are Extremely Intimate: Obviously, this depends on the people involved in the handjob. I won't sit here and tell you there is no such thing as a disinterested handjob- I'm just saying that a proper handjob that's done correctly and with gusto can be an extremely intimate act.
Handjobs offer an opportunity to really dig deep into intimacy through eye contact, dirty talk, and physical exploration of what makes your man tick sexually.
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Handjobs Are Versatile: There are times and places where it just isn't practical to blow or full-on fuck a guy. It's a lot easier to give a handjob in a public setting like a movie theater or restaurant than it is to blow or bang. You'll probably get away with a quick hand shandy under the table at a restaurant, but people are going to notice if you drop trou and mount up between courses.
They are also perfect for when your man needs a bit of relief but you're not in the mood or are too tired for a full-service tune-up. Aside from all that, a handjob can be the whole show or just the ramp-up to a big finale. Which is to say, you can use them for foreplay or as the main event of a sexual encounter.
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Hand Jobs Are Basically Safe: While it's true that there is a low chance of contracting an STI from a handjob, it takes a lot of extremely bad luck to happen. Really, a handjob is one of the safest ways you could have sex, as far as infection is concerned.
Aside from the outside chance that a bodily fluid contacts an open scratch or wound on your hands, there isn't a whole lot of ways to contract something nasty from just giving a guy a super-friendly handshake.
Tips For Better Handies
Now that we're all on the same page, handjob-wise, let's talk about what you can do to give better handjobs. Here are some easy, effective tips to add some extra razzle-dazzle to your hand-jive game.
1. Lube Up!
I really shouldn't even have to say this but here we are all the same. Lube is just as important to a handjob as it is to penetrative sex.
Jerking yourself off dry isn't nearly as pleasurable as stroking with a lubed-up hand or toy. It's a good idea to use a lube that isn't going to be unpleasant to have in your mouth because sometimes you might want to give the ol' boy a lick or suck during the handjob.
This is where flavored lubes are your best friend. You want to be careful about which one you pick though, Some flavored lubes rely more on the flavor aspect of their product than the lubrication aspect and that's no good. You're going to want a good lube with a good flavor. I like Swiss Navy's flavored line because they pay attention to both aspects of the flavored lube experience.
I highly recommend the Passion Fruit flavor because it tastes amazing and the smell of passion fruit is something of an aphrodisiac, at least to me.
2. Explore Beyond The Shaft
A handjob is more than just robotically stroking your man's cock until it squirts- You have to get around a bit. Stroke his inner thigh, squeeze his ass cheeks, run your hands down his chest and abdomen, fuckin, get into it!
If your partner is new and you aren't quite dialed into his sexual hotspots, this is a great opportunity to explore their body and see which parts make them pop. Take note of what you are doing when they start to make extra noise or squirm a bit more- Those are the areas you are going to want to remember for next time.
3. Get Those Balls In Play
While there are some guys who are a bit skittish about their sensitive balls, most guys love it when you show the boys a little love. Get in there and rub, tug (gently), fondle and suck those sweet babies while you're stroking your man.
One great trick you can do is to get your mouth down under his balls as your man is about to finish. Keep stroking while he teabags you for an outrageous finish that will keep him coming back for more. No matter what you do, though, don't ignore the balls.
4. Cock Rings And Ball Stretchers
Cock rings and ball stretchers are an excellent way to crank up the sensations of a handjob to the next level. Not only do they increase the sensation of orgasm by keeping the testicles from contracting easily at the point of orgasm, but they also make the handjob more electric and make it easier and more pleasurable to get to the big finale.
In addition to all that, they feel sexy to wear and keep your cock and balls all bundled up nicely for easy access. If you're not sure about using these items and are looking to get your feet wet, a basic set of cock rings might be a good way to get started.
If you think you're already down to try something a little more intense, this cock ring/ball stretcher combo would be an excellent way to jump into something more adventurous.
If you have no idea why these items would help with a handjob, you might want to brush up on cock rings and ball stretchers with our newbie's guide to cock rings. Either way, it'll be a game-changer!
5. Don't Go Too Fast (At Least At The Start)
I find that guys like it, when you start off slow to build the pressure and sexual tension and work your speed up as your man himself, gets more worked up until you finally finish in a frenzy of rapid stroking and flying splooge.
Generally, your man is going to come quicker the more furiously you crank on his wang. So, unless you want to get things over in a hurry, nothin' wrong with that sometimes, try to build up slowly to prolong the magic and keep your man on pins and needles until he blows.
6. Alternate Between Hands And Toys
A handjob doesn't have to be done with just your hands- you can bring toys into the equation, as well. When I bring toys into it, I like to start by using my hands to gently caress and stroke him until he is hard. Then, I like to pull out an unpowered stroker, like a basic Fleshlight, and use it to bring him to the edge and then hold off a bit. Then, I gently use my hands again for a while until he's calmed down a bit and isn't on the edge of blowing a load.
For the big finale, I sometimes like to pull out something fancier with heat and/or vibration to really drive him over the edge. Gun to my head, this is the absolute best handjob helper out there but you should explore what works best for you and your partner.
7. Tie His Ass Up
This is more like something I like done to me when I am getting a handjob than it is something I like to do for my guy, but I tend to be more of a sub so that makes sense. I am super-sensitive and tend to squirm around a lot when I am being pleasured. Sometimes things get so intense I instinctively pull away, even if I adore what I am feeling.
Tying a guy down leaves him completely vulnerable and at your mercy, which can be a huge turn-on for many guys. It also gives you the opportunity to position your man in different ways and keep him that way so your job is easier. Experiment a little with restraint, even if it "isn't your thing"- You might be surprised what you find out about yourself and your partner!
A simple, inexpensive way to get into it is to simply pick up a basic restraints kit to experiment with. It's a low-risk, high-reward sorta thing- look into it!
8. Knowing Your Own Body Helps You Understand His
The final bit of advice I can give is to say that the more familiar you are with what makes your wang tick- which spots are sensitive and which are a bit "meh"- you can begin to get a handle on the likely places to go on your man's body to make him squeal.
While not all guys' dicks and erogenous zones are the same, a frenulum is generally sensitive no matter whose it is. What I am trying to say is, the better your vocabulary for talking to your body is, the better it will be for communicating with his.
None of us is exactly like another, but the parallels are close enough to make some educated guesses about what your man will and will not like.
