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Newbie's Dildo Guide

Newbies's Guide Dildo

Dildos, without a doubt, are the most diverse category of sex toy out there. They come in all sorts of shapes and sizes and can be made out of numerous materials, not to mention all of the various extra functions you can find. They have dildos that will spin, vibrate, thrust, and even simulate ejaculation. The right dildo can do just about anything except, maybe, washing the linens when the fun has wound down. With all of this variety to choose from, trying to find the right dildo for the job can be a bit daunting.

So, what's a bewildered boy looking for the perfect junk for his trunk to do? Well, the first step of choosing a dildo is exactly the same as the first step of using a dildo- Just relax, it's not as scary as it seems.

This guide is going to take you through the various types of dildos available on our site, but you might also want to check out our comprehensive guide on how to choose a dildo to help you figure out what you're looking for before you start browsing.

Now, with all of that out of the way, let's dive into the fun stuff!

Average Joe Dildos

Realistic dildos are one of the major categories of dildo out there, and all of the dildo designs from the Average Joe line focus on maximizing realism. The Average Joe line of dildos come with a variety of available features from standard, no-frills TPR dongs like Andy The Mechanic or Pilot Nick to remote-controlled, vibrating models like The Architect Dion. All of the dildos from this line have suction cup bases for easy, hands-free fun.

The main draw of this line of dildos is that they are all designed to be realistically sized and detailed, with each one representing a different "type" of actual dick you could encounter while out on sexy safari. They feature veiny textures, realistic heads, and a set of delightfully bouncy balls at the base that give you that lovely feeling of balls slapping against your ass while at the same time acting as a safety feature to keep you from going too deep.

If you're the kind of guy who values realism in a dildo, this line of toys would be an excellent place to start.

Classic Dongs

This is a sort of catch-all, grab-bag category that covers a wide array of classic dildo designs. You'll find a little bit of something for everybody in this category from the somewhat intimidating and intriguing Violator to this non-threatening,  harness-compatible vibrating dildo from Tantus. Generally, these dildos will be phallically shaped, with or without realistic textures, and made from a variety of materials.

This category is definitely the place to start if you're a fan of the classics! 

Clone-A-Willy

This isn't so much a category of dildo as it is a toy that is in a category all its own. Somewhere between a crafting project and a sex toy, Clone-A-Willy is a kit that allows you to make a perfect replica of you or your partner's penis. It comes with everything you need to create a mold, fill it, and it even includes a vibrator that can be placed in the dildo to add a little extra sumthin-sumthin to the end result.

All of the materials are completely body-safe- the main component is actually made from an edible algae- and there are a variety of colors to choose from. It's a great way to leave behind a little something to remember you by while you're apart from your partner or just a way to satisfy the curiosity we've all had about how it would feel to get fucked by our own penis. Admit it, you've wondered about that. It's OK, we all have!

If you're interested in finding out more about this unique product, check out our Clone-A-Willy review!

Double-Ended Dildos

Double-ended dildos are exactly what the name implies, a dildo with two ends. These dildos pretty much come in two forms, a straight dildo built for two or a horseshoe-shaped dildo built for one.

The straight dildos designed for two are a great way to have a little ass-to-ass fun with your favorite fella. They come in a variety of materials from glass to silicone and offer both textured and smooth designs. There are some variations on this standard design, such as the All American Whoppers XXXtreme Vibrating & Bendable Double Dong but they generally adhere to the same straight, two-ended design.

The other type of double-ender is the horseshoe style. These are meant to help you fulfill your craving for a little double penetration action. Dildos like the King Cock Double Penetrating Dildo have two ends facing the same direction to help you simulate a solid double dicking without the hassle of rounding up the extra dicks.

Fisting Anal Toys

Some guys just like to dig a little deeper. For guys like that, you have to break out the big guns to get the job done right. While not for the faint of heart or the anal newbie, fisting can be an extremely pleasurable experience if done carefully with a well-rained hole.

Unfortunately, there isn't always an extra pair of hands around to treat you right and that's where fisting toys can lend an extra hand where you need it most. These toys are basically what you'd expect- larger toys to simulate the experience of being fisted. With some variation like the Falcon Grip Cock In Hand Dildo which has a hand and cock design, these toys basically take the form of either a closed fist or a hand with extended fingers gathered together at the tips to ease entry.

If fisting is your game, these toys are an indispensable addition to any respectable sex toy collection. If you are a newbie fister or are just curious enough to take the plunge, you might want to consider beefing up your anal training game and investing in a more heavy-duty lube to help ease you into things or, more appropriately, help things ease into you!

Glass And Steel Dildos

Many dildos are made of softer materials such as silicone or TPR, but real dildo aficionados know that some of the best dildos out there are made of glass or steel. These dildos are smooth, solid, and often offer textures and shapes that dildos of other materials can't achieve with novel sensations to match. Equal parts art and sex toy, these dildos are often as visually stimulating as they are physically.

One of the things guys like most about glass and steel dildos is the way they can be heated or cooled to add an extra layer of sensation to the fun. You pretty much just submerge the toy in warm or cold water and go about your normal dildo business, just with a little extra razzle-dazzle for your man vagazzle. This ability to take on and hold temperature also make them extremely comfortable to use because they adapt to your body temperature quickly and retain that warmth.

If you're put off by the idea of sticking glass in your most holy of holies, rest assured these dildos are perfectly safe to use. They are made of fracture-resistant glass that is resistant to chipping, cracking, and temperature changes. If you haven't tried a glass or steel dildo, you're really missing out on something incredible.

Large Dildos

If you're looking for something between a fisting toy and a standard dildo, you'll probably want to check out our collection of large dildos. Everyone has at least a little bit of a size-queen deep down inside, and the only thing to satisfy that feisty bitch is a little love from a big boy.

These dildos measure usually over 10 inches, with a few exceptions, and they all swing some pretty hefty girth to really give your hole a run for its money. This category represents all of the various types of dildo mentioned earlier from realistic dongs like the BBC Big Black Cock & Balls to something a little more esoteric like this inflatable dildo that allows you to pump up the size as you go.

Realistic Dildos

Here you'll find our collection of realistically detailed dongs, complete with veiny shafts and bouncy balls. These dildos are shaped and textured to recreate the feeling of a real cock and often employ special materials with a more life-like texture. The more ambitious dildo manufacturers have even added innovations like dual-density cores, like in the case of the King Cock Plus and there are even dildos that simulate ejaculation!

Sex Machines

These sweet babies are the Rolls Royces of dildos. If you've ever wished for a guy who could pound you without getting tired or slowing down or you simply can't be bothered with the wrist and arm strain it takes to do it yourself, you might want to treat yourself to a dildo that offers something a little more.

The Auto Banger is a hand-held unit that offers a range of experiences from a slow and sensual bang to an outright tear-jerking poundathon that won't quit until you do. The Jaxx Hammer 2.0, on the other hand, is a wall-mountable unit that offers vibration and a range of thrusting speeds to meet all of your backdoor needs.

Strap-Ons

A lot of guys wonder why the hell a gay guy would want a strap-on in the first place because we pretty much have them built in, no? Yes, it's true that we all have a real dick, but there are some compelling reasons why a dude who bangs dudes might like to have one of these on hand.

First of all, they allow you or your partner the opportunity to fantasize about being fucked by another guy without having to find another guy to do the fucking. Secondly, they are a great way for guys who might not be so confident in the size department to feel like they are swinging some serious lumber.

Beyond that, they can be used for chastity and denial play. Maybe you like to keep your guy in a cock cage but you also enjoy being pounded from time to time. Well, you can tease him by letting him out of the cage, only to make him slide into a hollow dildo to fuck you without him ever feeling a thing. To an imaginative dom, the possibilities are endless!

Vibrating Dildos

This category is exactly what it says on the package- dildos that vibrate. This category spans all of the various style of dildo, realistic, large, etc. but all have vibration functions built into their design.

Whether you're looking for a big ol' rammer like the Violator or something a little more low-key like the Mack Tuff Ribbed Vibrating Silicone Dong, if it buzzes, vibrates and tickles, you'll find it here!



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1 comment

  • I have already own an All American Whopper 6.5 and LOVED riding it. As a BIMWM I want to feel “Real” I think my next toy to replace my lost one, Average Joe. I had never heard of them, but I stumbled across your blog and it helped. I cannot wait to ride and suck it.

    Brion

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