6 Tips for Watching Porn with Your BF

Watching porn and jerking off is something we think about doing when we're alone, but have you considered doing it with your partner? Here we'll tell you how to approach this sexy activity.

If you ask a gay guy if he has watched porn, the answer will be no surprise: Of course, they have. But if you ask a gay couple if they watch porn together, there's a great chance the answer will be an awkward look. The curious part is that most research has shown that watching porn in a relationship only harms it, but that's only when done individually.

 

Should you or should you not watch porn with your partner?

Even if it's undeniable that all of us have watched porn at least once in our lives, it is not for everyone. Porn is to blame for many disappointments for its potential for creating unrealistic expectations. When you don't know how to consume it as fiction, you see porn as reality. 

Watching porn could bring trouble to your relationship, as some studies have shown. Research has proven that watching porn while you're in a relationship can deteriorate the quality of the couple dynamics and create some tensions between the two of them. The thing is that this happens when only one of them watches porn, while the other prefers not to. So, it's not about porn, but about the unbalanced situation regarding porn consuming habits. 

So, what if those people were watching porn together instead of alone? Frontiers in Psychology site published new research. They examined the effects of watching porn as a couple activity, and the results were exhilarating. It turns out watching porn together brings a more excellent relationship functioning and satisfaction, including their sex life.

Porn can be a powerful tool to strengthen a couple's bond when used to express needs, wants, and desires. Consuming erotica together it's not only bonding for the couple, but it can also spice things up and add new things to their sex dynamics.

Do couples watch porn together?

New York-based private health center Bespoke Surgical did a survey in 2021, revealing 76% of US citizens are comfortable with the idea of watching erotic content with a partner. 

Porn is not so much of a taboo as it was years ago. Couples are being more and more open to trying new things and experiencing new adventures, so it's no surprise this practice is really common nowadays.

If you want to try it but don't know how to tackle the talk with your man, we're we'll give your a couple tips to approach it and start doing this sexy activity.

 

1) Have a talk with yourself first. Why do you want to watch porn with him?

Suppose you want to persuade your man into doing something. In that case, whether it is something sexual or not, you better have some convincing arguments at hand, especially if you think it's something he might not be entirely up to from the start. Do your homework and dig into yourself: why do you want to try that.

If you want to watch porn with your man, why is it? Do you want to look for inspiration? Do you like to learn new and acrobatic sexual positions? Do you want to have an insight into what turns your man on? Answer to that question first, so you can come to your man and tell him exactly why it would be necessary to you to try this new thing.

2) Read the room. Do it when it's more prudent; good timing is a must for this talk.

Whenever you want to ask your man if you can try a new sexual practice, you need to be very mindful of the timing and the situation in which this talk will happen. Try to avoid pulling the topic out of your sleeve and taking him by surprise, be natural and organic; if you feel like it's not the time, it probably isn't. It's always better if you do it whenever you feel relaxed and fun, like during a Sunday morning, having some coffee.

Here are a few indicators you shouldn't have the talk at that moment:

• Don't approach this topic in the bedroom when you're getting hot and bothered with your man. You might think it's the best idea to suggest a sexual practice when you're about to have sex, but it isn't. This could totally make him feel pressured to say yes, and ruin the moment at all.

• Don't bring it out when your man is stressed or busy. If you asked your man to take out the trash, would you do it when he's busy? Consider this might be something he doesn't want to try, so don't add any factors that can add reasons for him to say no.

• Don't try to talk about this with him when he comes back from work after a hard day. The same idea as before, don't go and ask something from him if he's tired, sick, or feeling bad in any way unless you want to add more stress to him.

3) Go easy on it. Test the waters before you jump into the topic.

This can be a not so easy conversation, so it's better if you don't just take it out of the blue and surprise your man. 

Don't just go "Hey, let's watch porn together" and try maybe easing into it by asking him to tell you something sexy he wants to try. This may help you make him feel that you want to listen to him and make him more open to listening to your ideas; there's where you can purpose watching some erotic video.

If your man is not a great fan of hardcore porn (may men are not), you can start by suggesting watching a movie (the one you know it's famous for its steamy sex scenes like "Getting Go" or "King Cobra"). Suppose you watch something on Netflix that will get you both hot and bothered. In that case, you'll smoothly introduce him to the idea of watching something potentially arousing together, or you'll see if he didn't like the experience at all.

Another idea is if you know your man is more clinical or practical, tell him about all the research about watching porn together. Check out one of the multiple pieces of study there are about the wonders of watching porn as a couple and send the link to him. Tell him you read it and found it very interesting to see how he reacts; it can be a great conversation starter.

 

4) Be prepared for him to say no and listen to him.

You may have clear reasons for wanting to watch porn with your man, but he may also have specific ones for not doing it. If you go and present your case trying to convince him, and he says he doesn't want to, listen to him and try to understand why that is.

Don't pressure him if he's not entirely open to expressing their fears or concerns; just let him know you're listening and that you won't judge him. If you can get to the root of the "no," maybe you can compromise and get to neutral land where you can both have some sort of what you want.

Let him tell you what bothers him about it to suggest solutions. Maybe it will be him picking up what kind of porn to watch. Perhaps you're only watching porn together and never individually. Perhaps you'll only watch it for a few minutes together as a form of foreplay. Depending on how he feels, there are many things you can do to make it enjoyable for both of you.

After all the talk, there's a chance he still doesn't want to watch porn as a couple activity. If that's the case, you need to listen to him as empathetically and open as possible and respect his decision. If he says no, and you show you're patient and understanding, then it is more likely for him to open himself in the future and try new things with the same empathy you showed. 

5) Make the rules clear before you start playing.

Before you go straight ahead and sit in front of the computer to watch your favorite porn site together, you must discuss all the aspects of the experience. Having clear ground rules is fundamental, especially if he has shown some concerns or hesitation about doing it in the first place.

When you have "the talk," try to make clear (both of you) what you are doing this for and what your expectations are. To define the rules and boundaries, ask yourselves questions like:

• Are we going to watch a specific website together?

• When and where are you doing it?

• Are you only reading or listening to erotica?

• What are you going to do while and after you did it?

• How much time will you spend watching porn?

• Is it a private and confidential practice, or can you tell your friends?

• How do you feel if the other person watches porn with you?

• How do you think about masturbating while watching porn together?

• What categories of porn do each of you prefer, and which ones are you interested in watching together?

Discussing this will help you establish the dynamics of the activity and release any stress from it.

 

6) Always keep an open line of communication

Communications must always be open in every stage of the practice. As with any other sexual activity, if someone feels uncomfortable and wants to stop, they have the right to do so. No matter if he already said yes and you're doing it, consent is consent, so he can say "no," and you need to listen and understand.

Also, it would be advisable if you discuss how everyone felt after you're done. A follow-up discussion is an excellent idea so you can talk about the experience and all the feelings and sensations surrounding it. Maybe it was fun and fulfilling for you, perhaps it was so for your partner, or maybe he didn't enjoy it at all. 

If you talk about it, you can establish what you can do differently next time, if there will be the next time. Having this line of communication open is the best you can do whenever you're trying any new sexual play. 

Are you ready to ask your man to watch porn with you?

After reading all these tips, you have a general idea of approaching the topic when talking to your partner about this sexy activity. I hope you also get the idea that not because you want to do it, it means it'll happen (not immediately, at least). 

Be ready to plead your case, but also listen to your man, his needs, fears, and concerns, so this experience can be the best for both of you!