Thanks to Covid-19, a lot of economies are currently in the toilet. Many people either lost their jobs or struggle to pay the rent. In some cases, folks have taken on roommates where they didn’t use to occupy their spaces with other people. Possibly the worst thing about being an adult living with other adults is the getting-it-on factor. It’s not exactly easy to fuck—and especially have gay sex—knowing there are other people living under the same roof as you who may get bothered by your fornicating. Here are some tips for sex when you have roommates.
1. Don’t overthink it.
Everyone needs to get laid and every single one of us masturbates. If you don’t you’re just weird. It’s to be expected that, at some point, you and your partner or your roomie and their partner will want to have sex with one another. This should come as no surprise to any sexually active adult.
Try not to stress yourself out too much in thinking about what a coinhabitorr might think of your sex life. As long as you are being respectful about it.
2. Be respectful.
You aren’t the only one paying rent under this roof. Keep that and the golden rule of “Do unto others as you would want others to do unto you” in mind any time you plan on bringing over a sex partner for some nasty time. It’s ok to have an active sex life while simultaneously living with another adult that you are not currently having sex with. But, your roommate deserves the respect and understanding that you are sharing the space with them.
While you don’t necessarily need their permission, it is respectful to alert anybody you live with that there might be some moaning and bed creaking coming from your bedroom.
Or, if you choose to play James Bond about it and be a little more stealth in not being upfront about your lay to your roommate, make sure you execute the act as quickly and as quietly as possible, so as to not bother the person you are living with.
3. Communication is key.
Give the person you share a rent with a fair warning before inviting tricks over to your place for some nooky. You don’t need their permission or clearance, but it always bodes better with buds or roommates who feel like they are in the know versus always feeling left in the dark about when you are going to be having “cumpany” over. A simple bit of communicating goes a long way, while I find that most roommate relationships that end up deteriorating become that way due to a lack of or from poor communication.
Checking in with your roommate the night of your expected troustt is always a good strategy. Give each other the permission and space to have their own date night and sex conquest evenings where you either aren’t around or give them their space to sexercise their rights to getting it on.
4. Don’t over do it.
The second you start having a shag over all the time is when your roommate starts to feel like the third wheel or like there is a third person occupying the space. You shouldn’t just be having your sexploits solely at your place. Switch it up with your partner by screwing half the time at their place. If they don’t have an available space of their own, A, that should be a red flag and B, you still need to be conscious of living with another adult and what it means to be constantly having someone over to your house for hookups.
...And while you are getting it on, keep the moaning, banging, screaming, slapping, and overall sex sound effects to a minimum to preserve your roommate’s innocent ears.
5. Keep the sex confined to the confines of your bedroom.
It simply isn’t fair to be shagging your trade in common spaces that you share with a roommate. How would you like it if your roommate were hooking up in the bathroom when you need to use it or on the living room sofa you share? Sexy time in areas outside of the bedroom are frisky and fun—sure—but it’s better for the relationship you have with your roommate if you stay inside your own room to fornicate. Instead of looking at keeping sex strictly in your bedroom like you are limiting the area of which you can have sex in, take the idea of making your room a sex palace and run with it.
Turn your bedroom into a sex den of pleasure. Light some candles, get some new high-quality sheets, add some proper dim lighting, and have a way to play porn visibly in the background.
Remember, if you build it, they will cum.
6. All’s fair in love and war—so keep things fair and copacetic with your roommate by allowing them allotted time for their own hookups.
As I said above, we all need sex and companionship, so it should be expected that your roommate is going to be wanting to get off sometimes, too. If you are as courteous to them, then there is an established reciprocity and understanding that you both are sexually active, but considerate of one another’s space and time. It’s easy to forget that your roommate also has a libido, but if you allow them space to have sex, too, in their own space, you’ll have a lot more ammunition for arguing that you should granted the same sexual liberties of having guys over.
Again, communication is key, and keeping things fair game will allow for a better discourse in the future if you ever need to workout sex time issues with your roommate.
7. Pick up after yourself.
Metaphorically and literally. Sex is always dirty, but there is no need to leave a mess in the wake of your sexual triumphs for your roommate to have to come clean up later.
Make sure your sex guest takes off their shoes, puts away anything used in the kitchen, and that you throw away or clean up any remnants of what could be described as evidence of your sex fests. Toss the condoms in the trash, hide the enemas, wash the towels and sheets, and don’t make it patently obvious that you had a round of anal sex with anyone.
This includes showering and clean up after. Get in, get out, wash it up, and leave no evidence for Shercock Ho(e)lmes aka your roommate to sniff out and discover.
8. Pump up the jams and play that funky music.
Look—no one wants to hear their roommate shacking up with another dude in the next room. To avoid your roommate getting an earful of the ongoings in your bedroom, play some ambient music you and your partner can enjoy that will also help drown out the noises of your sex.
Playing some light tunes can help drown out any moaning or screaming and will keep your roommate from knowing every single detail of your screwing. A little bit of lounge music goes a long way in keep your roommate at bay and avoiding them getting upset at you for having to hear the two of you anally penetrating one another.
9. Don’t shit where you eat by hooking up with your roommate.
What may seem like a good idea at the time after plenty of shots at the bar will not be the best idea when you’ve got to continue living with said person and you mightn’t both be on the same page as to the role you play in one another’s lives. The absolute worse thing you can ever do is having sex with your roommate. Things will indeed get messy as different expectations aren’t met and feelings will definitely get hurt.
Much like you hate when a straight girl friend tries to hook you up with another best gay guy friend of theirs—simply because you are both gay—you shouldn’t shag your roommate just because they are gay and available by residing in the next room. If anything, you should always look at your roommate as someone you are in a business relationship with.
And you know what they say about mixing business with pleasure.
10. Keep your sex partner informed.
You’ve got to make sure the guy you are screwing is well aware of the aforementioned rules and the conditions set forth above. A better informed lover can help you control the situation and avoid conflict with the person you live with by guaranteeing you adhere to your own set of rules and sex guidelines.
Your partner should be on your side the entire time and want the experience to be as enjoyable for the both of you as possible. If they can help you keep the peace with your roommate, you’re already #winning when it comes to having a secure place to get it on in the future.
Two heads are better than one!