HOW IT ALL BEGAN
Before we get started with how to actually use the Clone A Willy Kit, let's discuss into how I got myself into this oddly fascinating situation in the first place...
My partners birthday was rapidly approaching, and I still had not thought of anything to get him. We planned on going to dinner and celebrating, but every time I asked him what he wanted for his big day, his only reply was ‘you.' That was all good and well, but I wanted to do something more.
Then, disaster struck. A week before his big day, I got a notice from work that I would need to be out of town for a work meeting. When I broke the news to him, he pretended to be okay with it but I could tell Greg was devastated. We agreed to celebrate before I left as well and made plans to call each other the night of, for a romantic evening over the phone, but I knew I needed to do something extra special.
The very next night we went out with a few of our friends and enjoyed some cocktails, perhaps too many. So, there I am in the bathroom, taking a piss when I look down, and it was as if a lightbulb went off in my head. If Greg wanted me for his birthday, by God he was going to have me! I had gotten the brilliant idea that cloning my penis would be a great gift.
After extensive research on how to make my dildo at work the next day (thank goodness my boss didn’t walk in at that moment), I ended up choosing the Clone A Willy Kit- Vibrating for several reasons. Firstly, it comes in a ton of fun colors including two different glow in the dark versions. Secondly, it wasn’t out of this world expensive, so if all went miserably wrong, I wasn’t going to be out much. And finally, it was the only one I found with the vibrating feature.
Once I made the actual purchase I was both nervous and excited. It would be two whole days before I was able to put my plan into action. I spent those two days anxiously reading articles about how to use said kits I felt pretty confident that I could pull it off (pun intended).
IT ARRIVES...
The discretely packaged box was tossed onto my desk two days later, as promised. My face was flush, and my heartbeat raced throughout the entire work day, knowing what the contents were. Leaving work with the package squarely placed under my arm I went directly home. I knew Greg was going to be working late and I was on a time crunch. It had to be done immediately when I got home.
I ripped the package open the second I got through the door revealing my very own, make my own dildo kit. I examined the contents which included:
- A molding tube that I was soon to be placing myself in.
- A body safe silicone.
- A bag of molding powder. Algae-based (a very nice touch may I add)
- The vibrator to be inserted into my homemade willy.
Since I didn’t want any evidence of my project, I went into the bathroom with my new kit and closed the door behind me. I began ‘preparing myself’ which I found to be exceedingly difficult in the current situation. Let me tell you, it is not as easy as it sounds to get hard for a plastic tube. Knowing I was on borrowed time, I decided to pop a little blue pill and get on with it.
Half an hour later I was ready to go. This was real. There was no turning back now.
Step One:
Now that all systems were a go, I could proceed to the first step. Everything I had previously read in preparing myself for this task involved a partner to help. Since I was doing this as a secret, I had to go at it alone. For the first step in cloning my penis, I was supposed to hold the molding tube up to my erect penis and mark it.
Holding myself in one hand and the tube in the other left me with no free hand to mark the tube. I did my best to eyeball the tube against myself, which seems easy enough until your marker fails to work. Pinching the spot I needed to mark between my forefinger and thumb I ran through the house, sans pants looking for a pen, a marker a freaking pencil at this point to no avail. Finally, I gave up and just cut the damn thing from eyesight. This step proved to be a bit tricky, and I could have certainly used the help of an extra set of hands, but in the end, I got it done.
Spotting the clock, I saw that my time was disappearing rapidly. I had just over 2 and a half hours before Greg would be walking in the door. I knew the first mold would take up most of that time setting. I ran back to the bathroom with my freshly cut tube and read the next set of instructions.
Step Two:
The next step includes near boiling water. Due to my time constraint as well as the fact that I was about to put my penis into a tube full of goo, I remained pants-less. So here I am standing at my stove top (very carefully mind you) watching 1 ¾ cups of water not heat near fast enough for me.
After what seems like ages my water is at the correct temp, and I can begin mixing it with the algae molding mixture. It takes about 60 seconds to get it to the correct consistency. As I am stirring, I contemplate how my makeshift member will be completely edible and even vegan. The thought of someone, especially my partner deciding to bite into my penis (even a copy of my penis) disturbs me.
The mixture is ready, and the show must go on...
Note: The exact water temperature you need is 90 degree Celsius/ 194 degree Fahrenheit. (Water boils at 100 degree Celsius/ 212 degrees Fahrenheit.).
Step Three:
Back in the bathroom I quickly poured the mixture into the molding tube. I must admit I thought twice about sticking my penis inside this gooey mess, but alas I just had to do it. And quickly. The molding mixture hardens fairly so I would only have to wait about two minutes with myself inside.
I plunged myself into the sized mold doing my best to keep myself centered. There was a good bit of spillage, but I was powerless to do anything about it at the moment. I had to keep myself as steady as possible for the duration. I started counting my Mississippi’s.
Only two minutes I thought… This was the longest two minutes of my life. I could see the molding mixture hardening on my bathroom floor. What was worse is was I could feel the molding mixture tightening against lower areas. If you decide to clone your dick, make sure the boys are out of range of any spillage.
Finally, the two minutes was up, and I was free to remove my junk. This part was a lot easier than I imagined it to be. I looked into the hole now shaped like my penis and took a deep breath. It would be two whole hours before I would be able to do the next step.
WAITING...WAITING...WAITING...
During this excruciatingly long wait, all I could do was wait. I took an extra long shower making sure every little bit of the mold was off. Even with it being edible, I didn’t want to chance Greg seeing anything unusual.
After getting out of the shower and drying off, I still had another hour and a half to wait before I could fill the mold with the silicone and vibrator. I cleaned up the bathroom floor and put the dishes away. I then took all the trash to the incinerator and burned any leftover evidence.
I think I probably looked down that damn mold every two minutes expecting it somehow to be instantly ready. I was becoming worried. Greg was going to be home almost at the exact time that I would need to fill the mixture and set the vibrator.
I decided to call him and ask him to pick a pizza up on his way home. It wasn’t entirely uncommon for me to do and it wouldn’t raise any flags. I knew it would only buy me a matter of 15 minutes or so, but that just might be enough.
Step Four:
I felt a little better now that I knew Greg was going to be running a bit later than normal but needed to move quickly. As soon as the two hours were up, I emptied the silicone gel into a bowl and mixed it for the two minutes as directed to remove any air bubbles. The directions instructed to only pour it to the mold within an inch to the top. I, however, filled it all the way up thinking I didn’t want to lose an inch of my penis, but folks that was not a good idea (will get to that shortly).
I cut an ‘X’ into the cardboard as instructed and pushed the vibrator through it. As I began slowly pushing the vibrator into the silicone mold, I realized that we were going to have a problem. The silicone spilled out everywhere creating a giant mess.
Finding a spot in the back of my closet to hide my soon to be cloned penis I heard keys turning in the lock. I still had a giant mess to clean up in the bathroom and ran in to wipe it up as best I could with toilet paper. However, the toilet paper just stuck to the mess and made it worse. Finally, I decided to use one of our fancy wash cloths and hoped Greg wouldn’t notice. At least until after I told him this ridiculous story.
All I had to do now was wait 24 hours, and I would have my new toy.
THE REVEAL
The next night I snuck into my closet and got out the tube that had my soon to be cloned willy in it. Sneaking it into the bathroom while Greg was cooking dinner I gave the vibrator a gentle wiggle to loosen it up and pulled out what was now a replica of my penis.
It was just what I wanted and knew Greg would love it. I popped in some batteries and turned it on, letting it ride around on my hand. The thought made me laugh and I simply could not wait to show it to my unsuspecting partner.
I was leaving the next day and wanted to test out our new toy before I left. It was kind of a turn on just seeing it and knowing that I would be with him even when I wasn’t. Walking into the kitchen, I told him to close his eyes and hold out his hand. Placing the vibrating dildo in his hand, I turned it on which startled him. He opened his eyes and after seeing his new gift, we forgot all about dinner.
FINAL THOUGHTS
Overall it was fun albeit a bit awkward to do on my own. A partner is recommended however, it definitely can be done with a little extra effort. I would also do it when I had more time, so I wasn’t as rushed next time around.
Greg loved it, and we had a good phone chat on his birthday, and in a way, I was actually with him. I plan on making him go through this ordeal on my next birthday… or perhaps sooner.
So, whether you want to be there for your partner even when you can’t or if you have ever wanted to go screw yourself literally… now you can thanks to the Clone A Willy Kit.
