If someone asked me to prove that some of the best things in life are free, I'd have to choose a really good blowjob as exhibit A.
I can't really think of a better way to spend my time than getting blown, cards on the table. There is an unfortunate flip side to this idea, however.
Namely, all of the worst things in life also happen to be free. May I offer disappointing blowjobs as exhibit B?
There's nothing worse than thinking you're sitting down for a nice plate of filet mignon and getting a cold Happy Meal with soggy fries. The sad thing about bad blowies is that they are a perfectly preventable tragedy.
So, as a public service to all those guys out there who have the sneaking suspicion they might not exactly be making the grade in their oral exams, I'd like to offer up this quick cheat sheet to help you pass your next test with flying colors...
7. Use Your Eyes - they are an incredibly potent weapon in your oral arsenal
I've noticed that a lot of guys have the tendency to close their eyes when they are going down on someone. This is a real shame because the eyes are an incredibly potent weapon in your oral arsenal.
First of all, you need to have them open if you're going to properly read your partner's reactions. You need those babies to see if he likes what you're doing as much as you think he does!
You can't trust your ears to tell the whole story. Some guys will moan and go through the motions when they are getting a sub-par BJ, but the face will never lie. If he's not into it, one look in his eyes will tell the whole story.
Which brings me to my second point, eye contact is super-sexy if you're both really into what's going on.
This doesn't mean you should intensely stare into your partner's eyes, which can be sexy at times, but that you should try to make occasional eye contact with your partner.
Not only does this give you the chance to check in with him and get a feel for where he's at, it also lets you turn up the heat for him by conveying how turned on you are.
6. Go Balls Out - get in there, cradle his balls, gently jostle them around while you're working the shaft
A good blowjob is a whole lot more than just bobbing your mouth up and down on some guy's shaft until he blows, the least of which is making sure you give those balls a little love while you're down there.
The scrotum and testicles are extremely dense with nerves, which makes them super sensitive to physical sensation. I can definitively say that if you aren't playing with your man's balls, you're giving a bad blowjob.
Get in there, cradle his balls, gently jostle them around while you're working the shaft. If you need to give your jaw a rest, taking a detour to the balls is a great way to keep the action hot while getting a bit of a rest before going in for a big finale.
Get in there, lick them, suck them, see if you can get them both in there or whatever you want, just don't ignore them.
If your partner is wearing a cock ring, use it!
His balls are all packaged together perfectly for you to wrap your fingers around them and gently pull them away from his body a bit.
Be careful! Always be sure to feel out your partner before getting too rough, but a gentle pulling is always nice in any case.
Experiment with your ball-play if you want to really take your oral game to the next level. Just remember, balls are super-sensitive and different dudes have different levels of tolerance for ball-play.
5. Your Tongue Is The Star Of The Show - make sure you use it to its fullest
Really good head is all about how you use your tongue. Full stop.
Imagine Cirque du Soleil without acrobats. It wouldn't be very exciting, just a lot of intriguing paraphernalia sitting around while whimsical music plays.
Your tongue is the acrobat, the whole show depends on it. Make sure you use it to its fullest.
There are basically four parts of your tongue that you need to worry about as far as head is concerned.
The tip, the flat top, the edge, and the underside. Each of these zones on the tongue has different uses and produce different sensations for your partner.
These uses are multiplied even further when you throw in how they feel on all of the different areas of your guy's cock and the fact that, with a simple flexing of your tongue, it can change shape, texture, and firmness.
Not to mention variations in pressure from light tickling with the tip, to firm all-over pressure from the flattened out top.
As you can see, there is enough to say about tongue-work to warrant a whole article unto itself, so I will simply say that you should definitely experiment with your tongue technique if you want to blow like a champ.
4. Suck It Up - start off with some mighty suction to get him tingling
I've still never gotten the final word on why we call them blowjobs when there is little to no blowing involved at all, but here we are.
I guess it's because suckjob sounds like something the "bad boy" character in an old 80's movie would call an antagonistic authority figure. Is there nothing the 80's can't ruin?
Confused nomenclature aside, suction is a hugely important part of giving a good blowjob. A lot of guys make the mistake of thinking that less is more, but like most things blowjob, variation is the key.
I like to start off by getting my guy nice and hard and then really laying on the suction thick at the start of the blowjob.
This causes blood to rush to the penis. I like to do this at the start of the blowjob because the increased blood flow boosts the amount of oxygen the nerves in the penis receive which causes them to be more sensitive.
Start off with some mighty suction to get him tingling, then make that tongue dance all over those super-sensitive nerves.
After that, try varying the suction throughout the blowjob because, beyond the increased blood flow, it just feels damn nice. Use the intense suction trick again anytime you are going to do any tongue-work.
3. Take A Trip To The Deep South - get to the whole buffet table
When I give head, I like to make sure that my partner is in a position that gives me full oral access to his whole downstairs mix-up.
On his back with his ass propped up, legs in the air on the edge of the bed, whatever, I just like to be able to get to the whole buffet table.
What I'm saying is, don't neglect the ass and perineum (that's a fancy word for "taint"). These areas are extremely sensitive and I have yet to meet a guy who doesn't like a rimjob/blowjob crossover episode.
If you want to give good head, you have to finesse that shit, work all the angles, add some fuckin' razzle-dazzle to the proceedings, eat some ass!
Don't be afraid to get in there with a finger and massage his prostate while you're blowing him, tongue his bung, gently rub the rim of his asshole with your finger, just don't ignore those areas just past his balls!
2. Go Deep! - bite the bullet and start slobbering
When I was younger, I had a really hard time deepthroating thanks to an overactive gag reflex. It was a total bummer because there is nothing I love more than a good ol' fashioned deepthroat and it really sucked not to be able to give that to my partners.
It really developed into a sort of complex...
Eventually, I knuckled down and started to train my gag reflex by practicing on my dildos and eventually overcame the problem. Now, I'm practically a bona fide sword swallower!
You don't need me to tell you that deepthroating feels fucking amazing, that's not the advice here. This advice is for guys like me who have trouble taking the large salami down the gullet and wish they didn't.
Do what I did, bite the bullet and start slobbering on some dildos until the problem vanishes. I won't say it was pleasant or easy, but it was definitely worth it to me.
1. Break Out The Toys! - tickle his P-spot while my mouth is working over the rest
I don't know about you, but I fucking love sex toys, and giving head is no exception to this rule. Earlier, I talked about the importance of ass play to giving good head.
Personally, I could do without all the wrist strain it takes to properly finger a guy and prefer to use some sort of toy to do the job for me.
I like to use my mouth and hands to get things warmed up and once my wrist starts to get tired I go for the prostate stimulator.
You're not necessarily looking for something big or over-the-top. I prefer a simple Aneros Prostate stimulator to help me tickle his P-spot while my mouth is working over the rest.
I'm also a big fan of using vibrating cock rings when I'm blowing a guy. Not only does it help keep all that blood where I need it, making those nerve endings all nice and sensitive, the vibration adds some next-level tingles to the mix.
~ Final Thoughts ~
None of these tips acts as a stand-alone cure-all to the bad blowie blues. The trick is coordinating all of these techniques throughout the whole blowjob.
Try mixing and matching these techniques as much as possible to see what works best for you and your partner. The only way to get better is to experiment, and I'm sure he won't mind!
Having said that, there are a few simple things to keep in mind as you go about it:
- Repetition is a boner-killer. Make sure to switch things up as you go. Vary the level of suction, the amount of contact between your tongue and his cock, the amount of deepthroating you are doing, etc.
- Be sure not to focus on any one part of his body for too long. Move around a bit, eat some ass, lick his balls, and all that other stuff I mentioned earlier.
- The exception to this rule is when he is approaching orgasm. That's when you really need to start working that shaft and head.
- Be sure to communicate how hot giving this blowjob is making you feel. If you seem bored, they will be too!
- Observe your partner's reactions and respond accordingly.
- With these tips and a little practice, you'll be a blowjob hero in no time flat!