Should You Date Your Fuck-Buddy? It’s finally happened, hasn’t it? You’re finding yourself questioning this position you’ve gotten into. After hooking up for a while, maybe a couple of weeks or a couple of months, it’s time you’ve considered THE big question for any relationship. You need to decide if this is going to become something more, a significant relationship, or is it nothing more than a fuck n’ chuck.
Can’t quite make up your mind? We’re here to help! We’ve gathered TEN thought-provoking scenarios to get to the very bottom of it. So, should you date your fuck buddy, or should you shift gears to the ‘friends’ part of friends with benefits?
1. Sex aside, you’re hanging out for more than a good romp.
You want to hang out, show them a cute look out over the city, maybe go for a hike over the weekend. Maybe you want to take them to your family cabin or a quiet walk down the street. If you’re looking to share more experiences with this person, it’s likely you’re starting to develop something more from this.
You want to take him to new places, maybe even your old stomping grounds. You want him to see a different side of you and you want to see that other side of him.
You should be paying attention to these moments, when the relationship isn’t sexual. Do you like hanging out with clothes on just as much? This might be a sign that you’re ready for this relationship to grow or you’re at least into something more out of this hookup.
2. You miss him, like REALLY miss him.
You find yourself feeling a new void after your hookup is fully clothed and out the door. Are you kind of hoping he’ll be knocking back at the door because he forgot something?
We miss the strangest connections when we put legitimate distance between us and them. If you’re looking to test this out, try to get away for the weekend. See if you’re missing more than just the hookup. Are you actually missing them or just the sex? Maybe you’re becoming emotionally intimate and connected to this guy than you first thought.
If you can think beyond the hookup there might be a deeper connection to this bum chum.
3. You would be totally jealous if you heard about another hookup.
It could come up one night, any night. There are a ton of factors that go into making this a tough scenario.
Do you think that you’d be upset? Maybe a little possessive, thinking you have rights to them, when you straight up don’t. You’d be super jealous if they committed to someone else. You don’t think you could stay quiet if that happened, despite it all, it makes you want to shout and profess something to them.
If you’re feeling beyond lust and passion, you should DEFINITELY pursue this more. These feelings could be mutual. Hell, maybe they’re thinking you aren’t showing that you want a relationship
4. You’re thinking into the future with them.
They are the one you want to spill the tea to after your sister’s wedding in the summer. You want to find an extra ticket to the concert your friends are all going to. This is a sign you care about the success of the relationship and of your future with them. If they’re reciprocating, building on or agreeing to these events, they probably care too.
Those first few months soared past, and time continues to fly by. You’re in your head, living out tons of scenarios, growing with him. You think together you would grow as the best partners, enriching and improving each other’s lives day by day. You’re both learning more about each other every day. You want more from this than its current label and you are seeing a life partner in this guy.
You’re both crossing boundaries that would be totally uncomfortable for the average notch on the bedpost. Face it, you want to spend time together for a long time.
5. You’re asking them deeper and deeper questions.
We’re talking way deeper than are you top/bottom, deeper than fetishes (at least most fetishes 😉). Not just what’s your favorite color or do you like this shirt, you’re asking each other everyday questions beyond the physical and into both your personal lives.
You’re asking if they like the car color you’re picking out. Who’s a good insurance company, where’d you go for mortgage rates, or where to find rentals like this gorgeous apartment? You’re adulting with them, connecting. You sincerely appreciate the advice and you feel on some level that they would know you well enough to help you find the answer.
And you like it. Let’s be honest, you both do, and you want to keep asking these questions and learn more about them, subtly building up trust.
6. You’re introducing them to more and more of your friends.
You’re slowly letting them into your closest circles. They’ve met that friend, sure (you know, the one who’s really judg-y, but we love them anyway because they’re real af), but now, he’s meeting EVERYONE.
At first, it was just beers with friends after work one time. But surely enough they’re becoming your go-to plus one. You’re even being asked, “Is he coming?” your friends totally get excited that they’ll be seeing him, they know him and look forward to him being around regularly now.
Heck your friends are texting him, they’re on his Insta, Snap, and all over his TikTok, they may as well plan your dates too. This is absolutely a sign you’re moving past a fling and into the beginning of a relationship.
7. You’re engaging over more than just booty calls.
You’ve given each other pet names, like Boo, Bae, Baby, calling each other Babe while grabbing snacks from the kitchen.
At first, you saw this as cute and sweet, maybe a little clingy. Now though, you like it, you want to turn it into something real. You’re even changing how you introduce him to your friends.
You say, “I want you to meet…” He’s moved out of that awkward phase where you’re pausing a moment because you don’t know how to introduce your FB.
You care about how they receive how you introduce them; you want the people you surround yourself with to know them by name. He’s playing an active role in your life and you’re finding the ways to acknowledge and affirm that.
8. You’re trying to hang out more often.
Casual hookups don’t usually hang out, that’s not normally the type of time you would spend together.
No, you’re trying to get them to go to the mall with you, see the latest flick, or play video games together online when they can’t come over. You want TIME together. You want to grab a coffee, you want to help with groceries, let’s face it you want to date.
It’s beginning to turn into something more than simply having meaningless sex, you keep finding more and more reasons to hang out, be close together, and have a connection. You’re certainly moving past just “fuck buddies”.
9. You’re almost constantly touching even when there’s no sex.
You’re both sitting on the sofa with one of your legs over his. You’re hugging each other now when you see each other. Whether at the front door, or on the street, you feel drawn to a physical touch whenever you see him.
Physical contact is no longer just about sex. You’re also finding out what you like romantically about him and you’re showing your signs of romance. Even your friends see it.
Dating is a bit backwards now, but instead of instantly fucking whenever he’s over, you’re finding yourself caressing his back, you’re trying to make a good impression as in intimate partner. You’re ready for more out of this casual fling.
10. You’re planning BIG outings together.
At first, it was all about sex. Maybe you’d meet at the club and go home together. You were fine with it; it didn’t seem like much. Sure, he started sleeping over, nothing too serious, right?
Now you’re planning a trip away to your favorite beach resort in Mexico. You’re thinking maybe an Airbnb, so you have some actual space for just the two of you to be a bit more intimate. It’s not a small trip, you’re planning the extra activities to do, and you even have a surprise one for him that you’ll know he’ll like.
You already know he loves fresh markets, so you’re making sure the place is near to a local spot. You’re making sure everything is perfect, even comfortable for him. You care so much; you know you should pursue more.
Does this sound like it’s happening to you? Were you nodding along to every scenario you read? We thought so, its why we wrote this blog after all! Not every hookup becomes a partner for life, but not every partner is met in high school or the club.
You’ve been questioning if you should look at dating your fuck buddy, and now you know you’re in a couple of the situations above. There’s a solid chance the feeling is mutual. You’re beyond the point where you’d rather hang out for hours than just have sex. You should consider that things might be moving in a different direction than you first had planned.
Go get ‘em, tiger!