Plate 01 The Wild Wood
Twilight Rainbow
Glass unicorn hornCreature Cocks
- Borosilicate glass
- Stacked rings
- Warm it or cool it
- Any lube
Best for Newer bottoms on the first rings, a real stretch on the last
$79.99 Meet the Twilight Rainbow
A field guide to fantasy cocks
Here be monsters.
What mapmakers wrote on the corners they never sailed. I have. Hounds, krakens, unicorns and one reaper's hand, all built for your ass.
Field notes
What they are, and why guys ride them.
A fantasy cock is a dildo shaped like something that never existed. Hound, dragon, tentacle, alien. Nobody is fooled and nobody is meant to be. Guys ride them for what the shapes do, and that comes down to four things.
1Pointed head2Raised veins3The knot4Suction-cup base- Pointed head
- Raised veins
- The knot
- Suction-cup base
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Texture
Ridges, scales, suckers, beads. A smooth dildo feels the same on every inch. These don't. Your hole gets something new going in and something else coming out.
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Knots
A knot is the fat bulge just above the base. Ride the shaft and leave it alone, or sink until it opens you wide. It's a goal, not a deadline.
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Tapers
Most of them start slim and get thicker the lower you go. The toy does the warm-up, and you choose where to stop.
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The look
A squid in Pride colours. Aliens that glow in the dark. A glass horn in pink and gold. They're funny and they're hot, and you get to be both at once.
Poke the serpent.
The roster
Choose your monster
One plate each, filed by where they live. The bars are the numbers off each product page: how much there is to ride, how wide it gets, how it starts.
Swipe to meet the next one Arrow keys, or click a specimen
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The Wild Wood4 creatures
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Plate 02 The Wild Wood
Unicorn horn
Braided silicone hornCreature Cocks
- Braided ridges
- Suction cup
- Fits a harness
Best for Experienced bottoms who like a slow, ridged stretch
$84.99 Meet the Unicorn horn
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Plate 03 The Wild Wood
Monster's Ball
Beaded beast with ballsGender X
- Thrusts
- Vibrates
- Remote
- Graduated beads
- Suction cup
Best for Bottoms with some experience; newer bottoms stay on the tip
$99.99 Meet Monster's Ball
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Plate 04 The Wild Wood
Centaur
Ridged shaft, wolf knotAlien Nation
- Knot
- Ridged shaft
- Fits a harness
Best for Bottoms who already take a full size dildo
$74.99 Meet the Centaur
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The Deep3 creatures
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Plate 05 The Deep
Monstropus
Suckered tentacleCreature Cocks
- Sucker rings
- Steady taper
- Flared base
Best for Newer bottoms stay up top, size queens go for the bottom rings
$76.99 Meet Monstropus
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Plate 06 The Deep
King Kraken
Squid in Pride coloursCreature Cocks
- Eight tentacles
- Suction cup
- Fits a harness
Best for Top half for regular bottoms, lower half for size queens
$89.99 Meet King Kraken
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Plate 07 The Deep
Dual Kraken
Two-ended tentacleCreature Cocks
- Double ended
- Bends into a U
- Suckers both ends
Best for Two bottoms sharing one toy, or one with a handle
$59.99 Meet the Dual Kraken
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The Ember Wastes4 creatures
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Plate 08 The Ember Wastes
Hell-Hound
Knotted houndCreature Cocks
- Knot
- Raised veins
- Suction cup
- Fits a harness
Best for Bottoms working up to a knot at their own pace
$47.99 Meet the Hell-Hound
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Plate 09 The Ember Wastes
Hell-Wolf
The wolf that thrustsCreature Cocks
- Thrusts
- Vibrates
- Remote
- Knot
- Suction cup
Best for Experienced bottoms who want the knot without doing all the work
$99.99 Meet the Hell-Wolf
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Plate 10 The Ember Wastes
Resurrector Phoenix
The one that squirtsCreature Cocks
- Squirts
- Beads and ridges
- Knot
- Suction cup
Best for Experienced bottoms who want a load at the end
$88.99 Meet the Phoenix
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Plate 11 The Ember Wastes
Talon
Dragon's clawCreature Cocks
- Ribs one side, scales the other
- Suction cup
- Fits a harness
Best for Bottoms who like a fantasy toy with a real stretch
$59.99 Meet the Talon
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The Outer Dark4 creatures
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Plate 12 The Outer Dark
Space Cock
Alien with a knotCreature Cocks
- Glows in the dark
- Knot
- Beaded tip
- Suction cup
Best for Experienced bottoms who want a knot to work toward
$66.99 Meet the Space Cock
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Plate 13 The Outer Dark
Glo-Spot
Glowing, buzzing visitorAlien Nation
- Glows in the dark
- Vibrates
- Fits a harness
Best for Bottoms past their first toy who like length
$57.99 Meet the Glo-Spot
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Plate 14 The Outer Dark
Sprite Jr.
Small glowing plugAlien Nation
- Glows in the dark
- Small plug
- Nubs and ridges
- Flared base
Best for Guys new to plugs
$26.99 Meet Sprite Jr.
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Plate 15 The Outer Dark
Darth Invader
The final bossIcon Brands
- PVC
- Extra strong suction cup
Best for Seasoned size queens only
$107.99 Meet Darth Invader
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The Barrow1 creature
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Plate 16 The Barrow
Grim Reaper
Skeletal handCreature Cocks
- Fisting shape
- Bones and ridges
- Suction cup
- Fits a harness
Best for Experienced bottoms and fisting fans
$99.99 Meet the Grim Reaper
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The Serpent Sands2 creatures
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Plate 17 The Serpent Sands
King Cobra
Scaled and curvedCreature Cocks
- Raised scales
- Curved toward the prostate
- Suction cup
- Fits a harness
Best for Length and texture more than stretch
$69.99 Meet King Cobra
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Plate 18 The Serpent Sands
Venomus
Gold snake, deep S curveAlien Nation
- S curve
- Raised scales
- Flared base
Best for Guys comfortable with a regular dildo who want curve
$74.99 Meet Venomus
1/ of 18
Your first monster
Three camps on the way to your first.
Never ridden one? Walk it in this order.
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Camp I
Start at the tip.
Look for a slim start and a taper. The smallest thing on this page is Sprite Jr., a small plug with a flared base. The Twilight Rainbow starts at a 0.5 in tip, and you stop at whichever ring feels right tonight.
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Camp II
Match the width you already take.
Widest is the bar to read. If it's more than you take now, the knot or the last few rings can wait. The Hell-Hound's shaft is 1.3 to 1.4 in across, and the knot sits under it until you want it. King Cobra tops out at 1.8 in: length and texture more than stretch.
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Camp III
Pick how you'll ride it.
A suction cup sticks to the floor, a chair seat or the shower wall and leaves both hands free. If he's the one wearing it, pick one that fits a harness. The Talon does both.
Rules of the hunt
Slow, slick, and something to stop it.
None of this is hard. All of it matters more when the toy has scales.
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Warm up first.
Fingers or a smaller toy, before anything on this page. Every monster here is easier company once your hole is already open.
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More lube than you think.
Coat the toy and your hole, then add more as you go. Suckers hold some and scales drag. Texture takes more than you think.
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Silicone toys, water-based lube.
Silicone lube can damage silicone toys, and nearly everything here is silicone. Water-based it is.
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The glass horn has its own rules.
The Twilight Rainbow takes any lube. Check it for chips first. Warm it or cool it in a bowl of water, never very hot and never very cold.
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PVC is porous.
Darth Invader is PVC. Water-based lube, wash it after every use, dry it fully and store it on its own.
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It needs a base.
Anything going up your ass needs a flared base or a suction cup, so it stays where you can reach it. Every creature here has one. The Dual Kraken is the odd one out: you hold the other end, or he's on it.
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The knot is optional. Every time.
Stopping at the shaft is always allowed. Take the knot when you're open and relaxed, with more lube and no rush.
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Stop if anything pinches.
Ease off, add lube, back up an inch. The monster will keep.
After the hunt
Clean the beast. Put it away.
A sink, some soap, and it's ready for next time.
Every time
- Warm water and mild soap.
- Then a spray of toy cleaner.
- Dry it fully before it goes away.
- Store it somewhere cool and dark, out of the sun, apart from your other silicone toys.
- If it charges, keep water away from the charging port.
- Glow toys charge under a lamp. Give them a while in the light before you turn it off.
Field questions
Asked at the campfire.
What is a knot, and do I have to take it?
It's the fat bulge just above the base, the part a hound's cock is known for. No, you don't. Ride the shaft and stop there, or work down onto the knot once you're warmed up and want the stretch. On the Hell-Hound the shaft is 1.3 to 1.4 in across and the knot is 2.6 in, so they're two different rides.
Are these safe for anal play?
They're made for it. Every one here has a flared base or a suction cup that stays outside you, apart from the Dual Kraken, which you hold by its other end or share. Go slow, use plenty of lube and stop if anything pinches.
Which lube?
Water-based for anything silicone, which is nearly all of them: silicone lube can damage silicone toys. Water-based for the PVC Darth Invader too. The glass Twilight Rainbow takes any type.
Will the suction cup hold?
Give it the right surface: clean, smooth and flat. Floor tile, a glass shower door, a chair seat. Press the cup down hard until it grips, then lube up and lower yourself on.
Do they really glow?
Three of them do: the Space Cock, the Glo-Spot and Sprite Jr. Leave one under a lamp or in sunlight for a while, turn the lights off, and it's the only light in the room. Hit Lights out on the Space Cock's plate for proof.
Can he wear one in a harness?
Plenty of them fit one. Look for Fits a harness on the plate: the Hell-Hound, the Unicorn horn, the Talon, King Cobra, King Kraken, the Centaur, the Glo-Spot and the Grim Reaper all do. On a knotted one, work the O-ring down over the knot so the base sits flat against him. King Kraken wants a ring big enough for its flare.
Which is the smallest one here?
Sprite Jr. It's a small plug with a ridged tip, two nubby bulbs and a flared base, made for guys new to plugs. If you want a dildo shape, the Twilight Rainbow starts at a 0.5 in tip and lets you stop at any ring.
That is the known world.
There are more of them in the collection than fit on one map. Go and look. Bring lube.
Stuck between two? Ask me in the chat. Tell me what you take now and I'll point you at a plate.