For more than a decade now, Grindr has been a top choice for gay men searching for dates, sex, or both and that trend seems to be here to stay...
Often these encounters are successful and lead to the type of fulfillment that you are seeking, but sometimes this does not happen.
There are many reasons why a potential Grindr date could go wrong before it even begins, and we’ve all been there. Everyone who actively uses the application has experienced their potential date using old pictures of himself, or maybe he has an insanely dirty house, or perhaps he even used pictures of someone else entirely.
This article will explore six ways you can end this date before it begins without doing too much damage to anyone’s ego or property.
1: Fake Sick
Let’s pretend that the guy is hosting and you pull into his driveway, get out and knock on the door, and you are then greeted by someone who looks nothing like the picture they used on Grindr.
It’s not that the guy is unattractive per se, but he is not what you were expecting, which takes away some of the necessary trust for a successful and comfortable encounter.
Now is the time to tell him that you started to feel sick on the drive over and that you need to use his bathroom. Asking him to use the bathroom is key because you’re not rejecting him at the door, you are making your story believable.
If you see what he looks like and then say that you are sick without the use of the bathroom, it could make him think that it is because of how he looks. While this is true, I think it is important to consider how people feel about their appearance, although he lied and used old or fake pictures.
When it comes to the excuse you use for being sick, don’t feel as though you need to create some elaborate story.
Perhaps you can say that you started to develop a stomach ache on the drive over or maybe you have a headache. Just make sure that whatever your excuse is, it makes it easy for you to escape without hurting feelings.
2: Fake a Phone Call That Gives You An Excuse
One thing that you can do to escape a bad Grindr encounter is to pretend you have a phone call that gives you some degree of bad news.
For example, pretend that your roommate called because they are locked out of the house you share and that you need to go and let them in. Of course, this could lead to him asking you to come back, but be sure to drive home the fact that you live a healthy distance away and would not want to drive to his house twice in one night.
He may try and convince you to ask your roommate to deal with his problem so you can stay, but you must stick to your reasoning. As far as justification goes, if he is willing to lie about what he looks like, there is no shame in you telling him that your roommate is locked out and that you need to go and help.
There are many other excuses that you can use and it simply depends on how creative you can be without going too far with your story.
As a working adult, you could always be called into work at the last minute, you could be asked to babysit for a friend, or you could even be called because a friend needs advice on something.
All of these are valid, just remember that under no circumstances should you feel forced to complete a date that you are not interested in.
3: Don’t Even Meet Him
One option you have if you happen to be hosting the encounter is to look out of a window as he is pulling up to ensure that he is the same person from his pictures.
If you see that he is not you could simply not open the door and cease all replies to his messages.
This method is not the best because it leaves the person hanging and could create many questions as to why you told them to come to your home but you were unavailable when they arrived, but again, no one should feel forced to go through with an encounter where they feel as though they have been misled.
However, as stated before, if a person is not going to be upfront and honest about their situation, it is unfair for you to make up for their lack of honesty.
4: Be Honest
Number four is an alternative to suggestion. Instead of ghosting him once you see that he is not the same person from his pictures, you could go to the front door and confront him about the issues.
This does not mean you have to be unkind to him, but being honest is good. It’s not cool to go around catfishing people. If you choose this method, you should do it outside of your home in case he reacts negatively.
In this situation, I think it is important to say how you feel and to express that you are not saying that he is unattractive, but that you don’t feel comfortable being lied to and that you would rather not move forward with the encounter.
As an adult, he has to accept this and he should not have anything to say about it besides saying that he was wrong.
I think this is a great option because catfishing or even using old photos to seduce a Grindr hookup is a major problem for the community and perhaps someone being honest with him instead of simply going along with it can help him understand right from wrong when it comes to proper Grindr guidelines.
5: Cause Some Sort of Issue In His Home
One way that you could escape a bad Grindr encounter is to create a random situation in the apartment...
For example, if he has a dog you can pretend to be allergic to the dog hair as a way to make a swift exit. This would require you to stay for a while because you have to find something to base the distraction on.
The same could be done with food smells in the apartment. Perhaps he recently cooked and one of the smells causes a reaction from you. This option is a bit harder to sell, but remember, you are in control of how and who you date. This means that even if the distraction you come up with is weak, it will still work because under no circumstance should you feel obligated to stay if you do not want to.
Again, it would probably be easier to be honest with your Grindr date, but if that does not work for you, coming up with a random distraction is a viable option to get out of a bad situation.
6: No Words
As stated many times in this article, we are all adults which means we can all make our own decisions. If you don’t want to go through with the encounter for whatever reason, you do not owe the guy an explanation.
This may sound callous, but this is a part of the process.
So, for example, say that you get to a guy’s house and you don’t like what you see, just turn around and get in your car. Yes, this may be weird for him, but remember that a Grindr encounter is not a relationship of any kind. This is a random encounter, it could turn into more, but for now, this is all it is. In my opinion, this means that you don’t need to feel bad about it.
Sure, it would be best if you would be honest rather than just leaving, but that is not a requirement despite what many people might say.
Dating can be hard but knowing how to escape a bad Grindr encounter can be even harder. Most people feel obligated to continue with a date even if they have been ultimately lied to about the circumstances of the encounter.
It is important to remember that you are an adult as is he and that rejection is simply part of the process of dating and hooking up.
This is especially true if someone attempted to catfish you using fake or ancient pictures. It is also important to retain some form of decency, even though most of these encounters don’t have strings attached. In other words, honesty is the best policy, but if you can’t do that at the time, be as gentle as possible.
There is no need to body or age shame anyone, just simply don’t go through with the date using whatever method works best for you.