There's just something about kissing a guy that it's so tempting. Even the idea of locking lips with your crush is mouthwatering. There's a reason why humans have been kissing since the beginning of time; it's something physical, psychological, emotional, and sometimes even spiritual. So, we're here today to learn all there is to know about kissing.
A kiss on the lips is a universal symbol of romantic love, but the kind of kiss tells a lot about the feelings involved:
- A short peck: unemotional.
- A tong-heavy French kiss: Passionate.
- A long kiss: intimate.
- A quick kiss: nervous and shy.
Location of the kiss can express different things too:
- On the lips: expected.
- On the cheek: platonic or even distant.
- On the forehead: parental and protective.
- On the neck: seductive and raw.
- On somewhere more private: well... you know.
The thing is, if it's your first time kissing someone, the lips are your best choice. Kissing on the lips is such a romantic gesture because it puts both people involved on the same level. There's no kisser and kissed, just two people wanting to be very close to each other, connecting in every sense.
Kissing someone sounds inviting. Thinking about kissing someone for the first time is exciting and nerve-wracking, especially if you have little to no experience in this area. Luckily for you, we're here to give you the best tips on the art of kissing.
2 Kissing Tips for Beginners
1) Prepare and Practice Beforehand
Kissing someone for the first time can be really nerve-wracking, no matter if you're experienced in the art of kissing. This is because you know the whole dynamic with this person may change big time after you kiss. Kissing him is letting him know in a physical way that you're attracted to him, and you desire to have him closer, and that can change your dynamic with him for good or for bad.
You may think that a way to overcome that nervousness is by preparing yourself, and you're right. If things are going to change with him inevitably after you kiss, then you might as well do it properly so at least your good kissing abilities can give you a chance for things to turn out good, right?
If you've never kissed a guy before, or you have too little experience on this, you may wonder if there's a way to prepare yourself for it, and the answer is: yes, but no. While there are ways you can get familiar with the physical, tangible sensations of kissing, you just can't prepare for the psychological and emotional weight of kissing another man for the first time unless you do it.
However, suppose you still want to train yourself in the intrinsic mechanics of kissing someone's lips without them involved. In that case, there's something you can try: dating coach Connel Barret suggests, "practice using a piece of ripe, soft fruit, like a peach or plum... start by softly, lightly brushing your lips against the skin of the fruit. After a minute or so, gradually increase the pressure, and use the tip of your tongue."
Practicing with a peach's velvety skin is the perfect way to get familiar with the sensation of kissing that bearded hunk of your dreams. Practicing with a banana could be suitable for preparing to kiss some other body part we won't be covering in this blog post.
Also, kind of a cliché, but you can practice by kissing your hand. Place your thumb and forefinger together into a mouth-like shape (your thumb will be the bottom lip, and your forefinger de top tip), you know, like a hand-puppet. Now softly press your lips against the hand's "mouth," and you'll get kind of the idea.
Even when you're practicing for that first time, you need to be gentle. Using your tongue to French-kiss or make out with someone can be hot, but it's not always cool to do it right away, so be mindful and careful with that tongue. For this, eating ice cream is the best practice; you want to lick that cone gently, slowly, even sensually, or you'll end up knocking it sideways or with your whole face covered in ice cream.
With time, you'll find your own kissing style, and even if you have it, it'll change and mesh once you find that SO who you love to kiss every day. The most important part is not style or skills but the emotional component that brings you together with that man to kiss each other's lips.
2) Learn when to kiss and how to initiate it
It doesn't matter how experienced you are; the idea of someone rejecting your kiss can be equally scary. It can feel like a failure and punch your self-esteem to the floor, and obviously, there's a chance your crush is not even into guys, and that can take a very wrong turn.
Of course, there are a million reasons why a guy can reject a kiss. We need to be prepared for disappointment and learn when someone is opening the door for us to kiss them.
Here's where the situation can become really tricky. How can you know when someone wants to kiss you? He's not going to hold a sign that says "kiss me now," but there are two options: he can explicitly tell you, or you can guess by some contextual clues. Here are some things he could do that might say to you he wants to kiss you:
- He's looking at you with a deep, steady gaze.
- He's touching your arm.
- He's touching your knee.
- He's touching your thigh.
- He's leaning your body towards you.
- He's licking his own lips.
- He's staring at your lips.
- He's playing with his earlobe.
- He's brushing his fingers through his hair.
The thing is, no matter how many signs he's giving you, it'll still take some courage from one of you to take the lead and kiss the other (hopefully you, reading this now). Once you get that connection, go for that kiss with confidence. It can help if you see a window-like silence of a couple of seconds while you just keep staring at each other's eyes: that's a great moment to lean in and kiss him.
However, if you see those hints but still don't get that window, don't force it; better be honest and ask him. Yeah, consent is vital; you don't want to go and forcibly kiss a dude (especially if you don't know if he likes you back or if he even likes dudes).
4 Kissing Dos and Don'ts
Experimented or not, there's always room for improvement. So, here go some things you can do to be on your way to becoming a great kisser and some things to not do so you avoid committing some horrible mistakes:
Do: Check your breath real quick.
It doesn't matter if you got the skills; a great kiss will be ruined or even stopped from happening if you have bad breath. Yeah, some men may not care if you didn't wash your mouth, but will you take the risk?
A minty-fresh breath can give you bonus points in the kissing department, so if you're going to be in a situation where you might kiss someone, better prepare your breath beforehand.
Brush your teeth and brush your tongue. Also, bring some mints with you for extra caution. Gums can be a good option, but it might be kind of inconvenient as you'll need to spit it out before making out.
Don't: Go tongue punching.
Hurrying up to use your tongue can be as bad as hurrying up to grab your date's junk. It's always better if you start slowly as you both smoothly transition from just kissing to french-kissing.
Don't tongue-punch him; soften that tongue of yours! You're not a lizard, so don't overdo it by shooting your tongue in and out over and over again. Do it softly, remember: it's like you're eating an ice cream cone.
Do: Listen to him
This is one of the most essential bits of advice in this whole blog post. You can ignore everything else, but if you still do this, you'll be on your way to being the king of kissing: ask him and learn what he likes in a kiss.
Every guy likes a different kind of kiss or a style of kissing, so ask him first before you experiment by trying something you read about or saw somewhere else. So, talk to your man to learn his preferences in the kissing area.
Don't: Learn from porn.
You may think kisses in porn are hot, but they're not an excellent example of romantic kisses. Porn is an exaggeration of sex that often influences our expectations in that area. So, you don't want to base your technique on what you see on those videos (meaning licking your man's whole face or spitting in his mouth). You can take tips from porn, but only if it's about dirty-dirty sex.
If you want to take tips from watching people kissing, try romantic movies.
4 Tips for advanced kissers
You already knew about everything we talked about? Great! Then get ready for the following tips because they're the critical difference between an average kisser and a pro.
Yeah, the chemistry between you and your man will be a significant component for a great kiss, and you'll maybe need to adapt to what your partner is looking for from that kiss. So here go some advanced techniques for advanced kissers.
1) Be smooth
I'm not talking about the way you kiss him, but the way you ask him. We talked about consent and about asking your man what he likes to do when kissing someone, but being too straightforward on this can be kind of awkward. So, try to be smooth when you ask him.
A great way to do this is after you get some hints of him maybe wanting to kiss you, give him a mischievous smile and say, "close your eyes." If he really wants to kiss you, and he's smart enough, he'll know what you're up to. If he closes his eyes, then you know for sure he trusts you, and he's ready to be kissed by you.
On the other hand, if he doesn't close his eyes, then he's not ready for that kiss, or he's not really into you. If he asks why there might be a chance he doesn't want to kiss you (or that maybe he's not that smart), what you can do here is be honest and straightforward, not asking for a kiss, but ensuring him, you want to kiss him. This way, you won't make it awkward or put some pressure on him by demanding an answer to the question, "Can I kiss you?"
2) Take breaks
Kissing can be an enjoyable activity, but doing it for a long time can become boring, so take breaks every once in a while during a kissing session.
Suppose you've been french-kissing for an extended period. In that case, you can put a halt to it with a couple of close-lipped kisses or pecks before you completely stop kissing or go on with more tongue-in-mouth action.
You can use those breaks to look at him and to make sure he's also enjoying it. If you want to make sure he wants to go on kissing you, let him take the lead for a change. And remember to be honest and tell him if you're not liking something; that's what those breaks are for.
3) Try different techniques
There are not too many things you can do to make putting your lips on someone's lips something different, but there are indeed other techniques you can try so it doesn't become repetitive. Still, some methods are better when kissing amid some hot sex encounters; here are some you can try:
- Suck his tongue.
- Kuck the inside of the top of his lip.
- Gently bite his lip.
Remember to ask him if it's okay to do more of something after trying it, so you know he liked it. Also, ask him if he wants to try something new.
4) Try different positions
Hold on, I'm not talking about sex positions, but about how you position your body while kissing your man. There's not just standing one in front of the other; your only limitations are your imagination, the space you're in, and your physical abilities. Here are some you can try:
- Kissing with your bodies parallel.
- Lying on top of each other.
- Lying next to each other.
- One of you is hanging upside down (iconic Spiderman style).
- One (or both) sitting.
- Kiss up (or down) if one of you is significantly taller or shorter.
As Cady Heron would say, "The limit does not exist." You can be ambitious and try new positions every time; you can even kiss while walking (just please be careful and please DO NOT kiss while driving).
With positions, it comes to mind what to do with your hands. If things heat up and you both are ready, there are some parts of his body you might be touching or caressing, but if this is not the time for that, here are some things you can do:
- Put your hand in his hair.
- Support the back of his head.
- Put your hands on his lower back.
- Hold his face.
- Put your hand on his cheek.
Are you a kissing pro?
Kissing can feel like the most exciting thing to do on many occasions, especially with the right person. Your experience can play you both good or bad, as it can make a kissing session something more pleasurable, or it can turn boring for you. As long as you both are into each other, it'll be something you'll enjoy.