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Dildo Buyers Guide - Choosing the Right Size, Shape & Features

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What are you looking for in your first dildo?

There are a number of factors involved in choosing your first dildo...

First and foremost though; vaginal and anal dildos aren’t interchangeable. We do not recommend men purchase a dildo for themselves that was designed for women.

Firstly, will you not experience the pleasure of a dildo designed specifically for a male. More importantly vaginal dildos aren’t designed for easy removal should you put them in too far. Since a vagina bottoms out at the cervix there’s no need to worry about the dildo getting too far in for retrieval.

The anal cavity is different though, and trying to remove a dildo designed for a vagina, after it’s been inserted too far into the rectum, is definitely going to put a damper on what would have been a great evening. So, most importantly; only purchase dildos that are designed for men.

Only purchase dildos that are designed for men.

After that there are a few other things you’ll want to consider before you buy your first dildo...

First you need to ask yourself: What pleasure am I looking for exactly?

Different dildos are designed to stimulate different parts of your body. If you’re looking to stimulate your prostate, buying a straight, fat, dildo just isn’t going to work as well as a dildo designed specifically for reaching the prostate.

The opposite is also true. If your main goal for buying a dildo is for anal stretching, a prostate stimulator isn’t going to do you much good.

There are many more factors to take into account.

Are you into fast thrusts straight in and out?

Do you prefer a realistic size and shape?

Is there a certain feature you absolutely must have?

We’ll attempt to answer these questions, along with others, so you can make an informed decision before you buy your first dildo.

Choosing the right sized dildo for your needs.

Dildos tend to be sized two different ways; Length and diameter (sometimes referred to as width), and length and circumference (sometimes referred to as girth). Make sure when you’re shopping for your first dildo that you don’t confuse diameter and circumference or you may be in for a pretty rude surprise when your sex toy arrives. As you can see in the picture below diameter refers to the distance across the dildo at its widest point. The circumference is the size measured around the dildo.

When determining the length of your new dildo you may want to take into consideration that bigger may not always be better. If your last partner of 7” was more than you could take there is no sense in buying a 9” dildo, with realistic balls and a suction cup base, if you’re not going to be able to get all of it in. It would be better to look at buying a smaller dildo with a suction cup base that you can use as intended and that will still fit into you comfortably without bottoming out with two inches left.

If you can take 7” without shedding a tear you may want to consider an 8”-9” dildo so that you can get the most out of your new toy. There’s nothing worse than buying a dildo on a whim and then realizing it won’t reach where you want it to.

One more thing to take into consideration with regards to length is how the dildo is designed. Just because a dildo is 10” long doesn’t mean that there are ten insertable inches. Some dildos are designed with life-like balls to stimulate your perineum while you’re riding on top of it. These dildos may say they are 10” long but since the balls aren’t able to be inserted, it may only have an insertable length of 9”. We do our best in our product descriptions to let you know not only the overall length of our dildos, but also the insertable length.

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Another factor you need to take into account is how "fat" you want your dildo to be. If you have no idea which diameter dildo you’re going to need, you can use your finger(s) as a guide. The average male finger is 3/4”, or 25mm, in diameter. If you can easily fit two fingers inside of you, that would be the equivalent of a 1.5”, or 50mm, diameter dildo.

If your only needs are to have a dildo that easily slides in, this would be a good size for you to start with. Since there are a lot of guys out there looking for a little more girth than that you’re going to have to determine if you want to feel a little, or a lot, of stretch with your new dildo.

If two fingers are easy, yet you want to feel a little more stretch, you may want to consider a dildo that is in the 2”-2.5” diameter range.

If you’re a seasoned pro, and looking for a dildo to add even more stretch, you’re going to want to start looking in the 3” diameter and larger dildos. Just don’t go bigger than you think you can handle. Stretching is pleasurable - Tearing, not so much.

One other option to take into consideration is a tapered dildo. Our tapered dildos start out narrow, at around 1”-1.5” at the tip, and get gradually wider the further down the shaft you get. This would be a great dildo for a guy who is looking for easy entry, but is looking for a little more stretch the deeper they get. These tapered dildos are great for the guy who is looking to gradually train his ass to take a fatter shaft.

The shape and texture of your dildo is just as important as the size.

Now that we’ve got the sizing figured out let’s start to think about what shape you’re looking for. If you’re the kind of guy who is looking for a little of the old “in and out”, meaning you’re looking for the feeling of a guy repeatedly thrusting inside of you you’re going to want to look for a straight, fixed width dildo with either a realistic or smooth texture. This will give you the thrusting feeling you’re looking for.

Length width dildos maximum pleasure

If you’re more interested in stimulating the entry, or inside walls, of the anus look for a dildo that is straight and either ribbed or studded. Once the dildo is inside you twisting and turning the dildo will stimulate these two areas. Length and width of these dildos will also need to be taken into consideration for maximum pleasure.

If you’re one of the lucky guys who understands the benefits of stimulating your prostate this is probably what you’re looking for in your first dildo. Make sure you find a dildo that is both long enough to reach your prostate, as well as curved to make sure you can get to it. While you may be able to maneuver a straight dildo around to find your p-spot, one designed to reach it will be much more pleasurable for you.

A Few Words About Prostate Massage

If you aren’t one of the lucky guys who understands the benefits of prostate massage, it’s high-time you got with the program!

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You know that incredibly intense sensation you get sometimes when a guy is railing your ass? Well, that’s your prostate letting you know it’s there. If you’re not trying for it while you’re banging, it really only gets the occasional accidental bump. 

If you know what you’re doing, however, you can stimulate the prostate intentionally to produce some pretty wild results that can include full-body, multiple orgasms and shooting a virtual river of splooge.

There is even a type of anal sex toy designed solely for the purpose of pleasuring this delightful little gland called prostate massagers. These toys are different from dildos in that they aren’t designed for actually “fucking” yourself, like dildos. These toys are intended to be inserted until the head makes contact with your prostate and, in the case of the best ones, operated by flexing your pelvic muscles to cause the toy to gently massage your gland until it erupts and sends outrageous sensations coursing through your body that will leave you breathless.

It’s a completely different sensation than you would get from traditional sexual stimulation and once you experience it, you’re definitely going to keep coming back for more!

If that sounds like something you would be interested in, you should check out our newbie’s guide to prostate massage to get you started on one of the most rewarding sexual activities a man can practice. 

Seriously, if you aren’t working that P-spot, you’re missing out on the better half of male sexual pleasure!

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Know the different types of dildos and their features.

Knowing what a specific dildo is designed to do will ensure that you get the most pleasure out of your new dildo. As we’ve seen; size, shape and texture of a dildo are important. Just as important for a good night of ass-play are the dildo’s features.

One feature you might want to consider in your new dildo is vibration. Vibrating dildos have come a long way in a very short amount of time. These days we have vibrating dildos, designed for men, that come in every size, shape and texture you could imagine. Some of our best selling vibrating dildos come equipped with life-like head, shaft and balls, and have numerous levels of vibrating speed and pulsation. These vibrating dildos have features that are designed to stimulate multiple areas at once, and will have you reaching incredibly intense orgasms.

Some of our dildos feature a suction cup base which allows for some very intense, hands-free, play. Simply attach these dildos to the floor, a chair, or even the side of the shower and ride it just as you would your partner. The suction on these dildos ensures that the dildo stays in place even through the roughest of riding. The hands free design allows you to masturbate, while stimulating the ass, for mind blowing orgasms.

If you and your partner are looking for your first dildo together one of our double ended dildos is going to be the way to go. These dildos offer a realistic feeling shaft, with a life like head at both ends. They’re typically quite long ensuring that the both of you get plenty of dildo during your playtime.

If you’re one of those guys that takes your bath time seriously you may want to consider buying a waterproof dildo for your alone time in the bath. These dildos are designed for play in the shower or bath, as well as in the bedroom. If you’re even considering playtime in the shower there’s no sense in buying a new dildo that you can’t get wet.

Another interesting feature in some of our dildos is the ability of the dildo to warm to your body heat. This is especially enjoyable on those cold winter nights when all you want is something warm inside of you. Just pull your warming dildo out of the drawer, hold it in your hands for a few minutes, and before you know it these dildos go from cool to the touch, to perfect body temperature.

Figuring out now, before you buy your new dildo, which of these features is important to you will ensure more than a few pleasurable nights with your new sex toy.

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Choosing the right material for your needs.

Dildos come in many different materials these days including; silicone, glass and metal. Understanding the benefits of each material will help you choose the correct dildo for your needs.

Silicone dildos are very popular as they can be molded into any shape you can imagine. If you’re looking for the most realistic dildo, then silicone is going to be your best bet. A silicone dildo will be seamless, phthalate free, latex free, and hypoallergenic. These dildos are also non-porous, making them very easy to clean. A lot of silicone dildos come with features such as vibrating bullets, suction cup bases, and realistic balls. Because of the variety, and lower cost, silicone dildos tend to be the first dildo a person purchases.

Glass dildos also seem to scare off a lot of guys. While the thought of one breaking mid-use is terrifying you can rest assured; it just doesn’t happen. Glass dildos are just as safe to use as any other material. Glass dildos are incredibly smooth which makes for a pleasurable ride and they’re non-porous which makes them easy to clean. A major advantage of glass over other materials, is that you can heat or cool glass dildos in a bowl of water- allowing you to experiment with different temperatures. While glass dildos may cost more than silicone or wood, they will probably last you a lifetime.

For the guy who’s looking for some heft in his dildo, metal just can’t be beat. Metal dildos are incredibly sturdy, and a very efficient material for p-spot stimulation. The metal on these dildos is perfectly smooth and non-porous which make for very easy cleaning. Like glass, these dildos can also be warmed or cooled before being used- allowing you to add a whole new dimension to anal stimulation you just can’t get with other materials. With proper care and cleaning these metal dildos will also last you a lifetime.

Lube for Dildo Gay Men

While you’re shopping for your new dildo make sure you get the correct lube.

While you may not think which kind of lube you buy is important, the life expectancy of your new dildo depends on it. We’ve all been there before; stroking off in the bathroom and reaching for the first slippery thing we can find to lube our hand up. This is not the way to go about lubing up your new dildo. 

Water based lubes are probably what you’re going to want to purchase if you decide on a silicone dildo. Never use a silicone based lube on a silicone based dildo. Never. Water based lubes will allow you to safely, and enjoyably, use your new silicone based dildo. The only drawback of a water based lube, as opposed to an oil based lube, is that it dries out quicker and will need to be reapplied if you’re in a marathon session.

Silicone based lubes are great with any dildo that isn’t made of silicone. The chemical reaction that occurs between the silicone lube and your silicone dildo will literally melt your new dildo. Trust me, nothing will interrupt your ass play quicker than having that happen. Silicone lube goes great with glass, wood, or PVC dildos as the silicone lube is way slicker than a water based lube, and needs to be applied less frequently.

Oil based lube is a great, and very slick, alternative to water or silicone based lubes. It almost never needs reapplication and will work with any material. The only drawback is that it is much harder to clean off than water or silicone based lubes. If you have a dildo with a lot of texture, or with a control pad for a vibrator, these are going to take a long time to clean if you use an oil based lube.

safe lube dildo material

Those are the basic strokes of choosing the proper lube for your toys but, really, there is a lot more to consider, when you get down to it. Keeping track of which lubes are safe for which materials is just one part of picking out a stellar lube.

As important as it is to pick the right lube to protect your new toy from degradation, there are other factors to consider. Will you be using the lube for an extreme insertion? Will you be playing in the water? How long does the lube last before you need to reapply it?

All of these questions and more are important to ask before you settle on a lube. For further help with choosing the right lube for your particular needs, check out this complete guide to choosing lubes. It has everything you need to pick the right lube for the right occasion- No matter what that occasion might be!

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Clean your dildo properly after use so it’s ready for next time.

We’ve all been there before; we’ve just finished up, there’s no time to clean up properly, and we just wipe off what we can and head for the door. This is no way to treat your new dildo (Ben from the club maybe, but not your new dildo). This is an investment in your pleasure you’re making, and you need to protect your investment. Make sure after every session with your new dildo you use one of our sex toy cleaners. This will protect your new dildo from the wear and tear you’re causing it, and from the lubes you use. You’ll also be protecting yourself when using these cleaners as you’ll ensure there is no bacteria lingering on your new toy just waiting to get in you the next time you use it. For your sake, and your toy’s, clean your new dildo properly after every use.

Now you have all the info you need to choose the perfect dildo for your needs. 

Now that you understand everything you need to know about picking out your first dildo, head on over to our dildo section and pick out the perfect one for you. Once you experience your first session with your new dildo we feel pretty confident you’ll be wondering how you ever got along without one.

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Still Need A Little Guidance?

With all the info about dildos we just dropped on you, you might be left a little bewildered from data overload. It’s a lot to take in, if you’ll pardon the pun.

If you still aren’t sure what you are looking for, this curated list of our top 10 favorite dildos will give you the lowdown on the hottest, most pleasurable dildos out there and what makes them so great!

If you combine the information in this guide with the suggestions in the Top 10 list, you should have no problem picking out a new bedroom buddy to keep you company on lonely nights or spice up your fun with friends!

[Updated: Jan 30, 2020]

Dildo Buying Guide



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