Ok, I’m guilty, I love dick. I bet most of you do, too! But how much do you know about dick?
Sure, if you have one, I bet you think you’re pretty familiar with your johnson. Do you know how you get hard?
No? Well, you’re in luck! I’m going to teach y’all about what’s going on inside your best friend when you get an erection.
Let’s be honest, there’s nothing quite like your dick. Literally. No other part on your body does the same things. Especially not the growing 2-3 times its size literally everyday aspect, as much as you may wish your biceps could inflate. Sorry, circuit queens.
Alright, so let’s dive in headfirst into the world of cocks and boners! We’ll find out what makes your woody so stiff and learn all about how pitching a tent works.
What is happening to your body during an erection?
The first thing that happens as you start getting a hard-on is that the small arteries in your cock are dilating. This will increase the blood flow to your johnson because there’s more room for blood to flow. Then, on either side of your urethra (the pee hole you use for sounding), you have two areas of spongy tissue that expand with the increased blood flow. When these two chambers are filling that’s your semi-chub raising to full mast. These same chambers ultimately get your cock fully erect.
Blood continues to flow to your cock during an erection, but to make things easier your body has a smart little trick. The veins in your man-meat start to compress and trap the blood inside your cock. This brings you to the rock-hard cock you love to stroke!
If you’re curious, you can feel the chambers inside your cock from behind your glans and down your shaft. As your cock fills with blood you can really get a sense of where these are. You can even ‘choke’ your cock in a tight ring of your fingers to fill a portion of the chambers before you’re fully erect.
So, why do boners happen?
Generally, you’ll get an erection as a response to sexual stimulus. Maybe you see a hot guy at the gym or the perfect ass walking down the street. And the younger you are the MORE likely this is to happen. For some of us adult gay men, though, it still seems to happen all the time!
As we age our cocks are less likely to respond to that level of excitement. Almost like they’re bored of the world of dick and ass, but more so because our bodies tend to slow down as we get older. So, you may have to use more direct stimulation. Which is simple because that’s basically rubbing your cock or getting head, whatever your favourite physical stimulus may be.
If you need even more help to get hard, that’s where our little blue friends come into play. Medications like Viagra will help you get and maintain an erection. So, if you find yourself down when you should be up, even after loads of foreplay, this might be a sign for you to consider extra support. Heck, Viagra also helps the younger crowd go round after round, so some of us, myself included, will probably use it throughout our butt-fucking lives.
Why else do we get a hard cock?
Sexual arousal isn’t this only reason you’ll get hard. You might be the furthest thing from turned on but you’ll pop a chub in seconds flat. In these scenarios without sexual stimulus, the reason behind your woody could be a number of things.
Morning Wood
I think pretty much every guy has experienced a boner first thing in the morning. I wake up with an erection basically every day. Some say this is because your testosterone levels tend to be higher or even peak in the morning. It can also be from sexual dreams or catching a glimpse of BAE’s booty leaving the bedroom. Even the tiniest bit of touch in the morning and you could sprout wood.
Reflex Boner
Sudden stimuli can give you a hard-on. So, yes, that includes being scared or frightened, even pressing stress and anxiety can make your cock hard. It’s kind of strange to think, but it does happen to some men. It can also blend with Morning Wood as the sudden change from laying still to alertness is a big shift in the body.
Sleeping Boner
If you’re a healthy man then you get nocturnal erections, that’s it, that’s the tea. It happens during REM sleep, which has many vital benefits. Researchers believe that it’s due to the nitric oxide released when you’re in the REM phase, but they don’t know why. So that’s now a fun fact you know about yourself, enjoy!
Incidental Stimulation Boner
Basically, this is when you get hard from a non-sexual touch, like wearing tight clothing when you work out and it rubs your junk. You could be walking down the street in your skinny jeans and embarrass yourself in front of strangers! Again, this can happen to pretty much any guy, but for some guys, this can be extremely frequent.
Emotional Boner
This type of erection comes from an intense emotional response. Similar to a reflex erection, a strong emotion, like happiness, anger, or even sadness, can trigger your hard-on. It could be completely irrespective of a sexual thought like the ending of a sad movie and BAM, you’re pitching a tent. Obviously, this could be embarrassing, but it’s not the end of the world!
Hospital Requiring Boner
You know that thing Viagra commercials warn you about? An erection lasting longer than four hours, right? That’s called a Priapism, named after the minor Greek god Priapus who was notably, pretty gay and pretty much always ready with a giant, raging boner. Seriously, enjoy your Googling. That aside, it’s extremely painful and eventually, you’ll want to see a doctor. When you go, they’ll give you a quick treatment in the form of needles to the dick in question. Sound fun? They use the needle to inject medicine to help you go soft.
What should you do when you’ve got an unwanted boner?
We’ve all been there; you got a boner at the worst time. The movie trope that boys always get one right as their name is called to speak in front of the class actually happens. Like, every day to kids around the world.
Pro tip 1: Tuck your dick straight up to your belly and use your waistband to keep your cock discreetly against your body.
Pro tip 2: If you’re hung, always wear a belt with a buckle and follow the steps above. If you’re still having trouble hiding it, angle your boner to whatever side you keep your wallet or phone on. That way it’s less obvious against other bulk in your pockets!
Realistically the best thing to do is picture anything that does not cause arousal for you. That could be thinking of doing dishes or your favourite restaurant. Unless that restaurant is at a strip club because I think that crosses a line. You could snap a rubber band on yourself or use other physical stimulation basically anywhere else on the body to reduce arousal. Seriously, it really works, it can be a bitch, but results are results.
What can you do if you can’t get a boner?
Ok, so now it’s the opposite issue, you can’t get an erection. If you’re known to fall victim to whiskey dick or can’t get an erection when you’re stressed, it’s likely mental erectile dysfunction. If you need medication to get hard or simply don’t ever get erections, then you should really be seeking medical advice. Heck, seek medical advice or a therapist to help with your mental ED.
That said, I’m also a huge fan of cock rings, I’d own them all if I could. Currently, I’ve got different ones for different things. I have a leather one for when things are kinkier, metal ones for extreme resistance, and back up silicone ones for easy use. You can find ones that vibrate and transform your cock into a truly life-like vibrator! Talk about giving your bottom the ride of his life.
Cock rings help you get erections by trapping blood in your man-meat. They can help you maintain a raging hard-on even after you’ve blown multiple loads. Honestly, a cock ring should be your anniversary secret weapon! If you’ve got a thicker cock you have to make sure you don’t buy one that’s too small for you, but most websites give you clear dimensions so you can measure before you purchase.
By now you’ve learned a lot about dick. Hopefully, I’ve explained some things that happen to your body that you didn’t even know about! You definitely know a couple of things about hard cocks now, just try not to bring them up mid blowjob.
So, what do you think is the most common reason that you get a boner? My honest answer would be the incidental boner! I can hit my dick on the back of the chair and get a chub growing. But I tend to run hot.
