Bondage Bearz Charlie Chains

A bear in full gear

A bondage teddy bear gag gift: a plush bear dressed in a black faux-leather mask, collar, arm cuffs, jock and chains. He's for gifting and the shelf, not for play. Give Charlie to the guy who cuffs you and takes your ass on Saturdays; he'll laugh, then get ideas.

Best forThe friend with a harness behind his bedroom door and a sense of humour about it.

The gay kickball team's end-of-season gift swap, thirty dollar limit, and nobody admits who brought the bear. Charlie gets stolen three times before the captain zips him inside his jacket.

• Full kit on a plush bear: blindfold mask, collar with a ring, buckled arm cuffs, a jock and chains linking the lot
• Dressed for Folsom before you've even found your harness
• Says 'I know about the leather bar' without a card

How to gift a bondage teddy bear

1. Leave him in his open-front box; it works as gift wrap and display stand in one.
2. Hand him to the leather guy who'll get the joke, or the man who had your ass in cuffs last weekend, or keep him on your own nightstand.
3. Take his mask off now and then; he likes a look around.

Care

Take his mask off every so often so he can look around.