5 Reasons Why Being A Twink Is A Bummer
Twink is gay slang that comes from the same era as Lady Bunny’s pet T-Rex, back when she was just Baby Bunny. It’s a long-standing term that a lot of young gays get called and there’s nothing to be ashamed of!
Back in the day, it meant that you were tight, white, relatively hairless, and not into kink, which other than being bland, and maybe slightly racist, is pretty accurate of the commonly labeled guys.
When I first started clubbing this was the first label I got from the gay community, and as a reformed twink, I think I have a really positive outlook on it.
I know some members of our community get really hung up on labeling, but I try my best to stay on the positive side of things. It’s basically saying you’re a skinny bottom, but there’s definitely more to a twink than that.
Why is being called a twink such a bummer? Well, kind of like I mentioned it’s yet another label the gays use within their own community.
In this article, I’m going to go over why being a twink is a bummer, but I’m also going to point out as many positives as I can, too!
1. It’s assumed that you’re a bottom
The tight reference in the twink description is definitely about your hole. Typically, a top loves a tight hole, so if you have one it’s totally to your advantage. There’s honestly nothing like fucking a tight hole, so it’s nothing to be ashamed of. And enjoying the receiving end of anal sex is nothing to be ashamed of either, fuck, it feels fantastic, so I certainly don’t blame you.
A lot of people will try and turn this into a big concern, but realistically, a lot of gays start out as twinks because of generalized beauty standards. We take on a lot of the pressure our female friends go through in school, often to an extreme. Coming out is hard enough as is, but it’s often packed in with a fair share of body dysmorphia. So, it kind of makes sense that a lot of young gays start out as a twinks
Not all twinks are bottoms either, so check that idea at the door. Back in my club days, I met a super dom twink who loved flipping the script on macho buff guys. And if I’m to believe what he told me, he’s got a long list of clientele, if you can call them that, that come knocking on his door regularly. So, don’t believe the label because you might be in for a real big surprise.
2. Twinks are playthings
Whether you like it or not, if you’re a twink then you’ve got an ectomorphic body type. In other words, you’re pretty slight, lightweight, slim, thin, or whatever else you want to call it.
As such, guys like myself have been known to get a little rough with you, either because of a fantasy or we’re just used to bigger guys. Basically, what I’m saying is most men are used to interacting with average body types like dad bods and bears because that’s the real majority of the gay community, despite what Instagram might portray.
There’s almost a predacious view toward the twink spectrum of the gay community. It’s definitely fetishized, so like any other gay guy you have to try your best to find love for the right reasons.
And not just because he’s some muscle bull that likes throwing twinks around. It gets pretty awkward when you break it down, too, the whole pursuit of a thin, youthless, hairless (or at least very little hair) male sounds a little too close to something illegal. It’s just an all-around weird thing to pursue.
Often, the muscular men of the gay community will view twinks as lesser, simply because you aren’t going after a jacked physique. Though, they tend to stick within their tight-knit groups anyway, so you really shouldn’t run into this, and honestly with that mentality, girl bye. Some of them, as mentioned, are totally into twinks, but they can also be some of the harshest critics towards other body types in the gay community. Save yourself the bro talk and find someone into you for what makes you, you.
3. It’s got a derogatory past
Twinks are a stereotype, I mean I’ve already laid it out above. It’s yet another label the gay community looks to place on its members, which is awfully strange given our whole equality initiative. People of all skin types and races can have a slim build and maybe they like removing body hair, who gives a fuck! You do you, boo! It’s honestly such a twisted thing, but I digress. At the end of the day, the only expectations you should try to live up to are the ones you set for yourself.
They’re expected to be as described, the whole package, and nothing short. Having to constantly live up to an image is hard and depressing, I mean a lot of us have already gone through this while trying to stay in the closet. Realistically, no one lives up to expectations perfectly, which is where the gays get wild with labels, wolfs, bears, and otters, oh my! It can be really overwhelming to ‘find your label’ but you don’t have to. Work towards being comfortable with who you are.
I don’t know if you do any body hair removal, but as you age you start getting more and more hair, so it’s this endless process of upkeep. This means that keeping up the twink image is not as easy as it sounds. That may be why you see a drop off of twink-y gays once they reach their thirties. As gay men discover themselves and their interests as openly queer individuals, they often shift away from a lot of superficial desires, like staying as slim as possible.
4. It’s definitely got a racist undertone (maybe even an overtone)
They were originally the white 20 somethings that were fresh meat at the bar. Which sounds a bit cliche, but it’s not like a black guy can’t be slim built, hell, any race can be thin, there’s no set rule that only one race can have a certain body type. You don’t have to be blond and blue-eyed to be a twink, so you most certainly shouldn’t have to be a white dude. That really just falls short of accepting our whole community, which makes me upset.
Chances are, you’re much more diverse than what society thinks of you at face value. Hell, the first African American Miss America winner was obviously black, but she was ridiculed for being too light-skinned. You don’t have to live by these standards by any stretch! Maybe you’re an Asian twink that likes to top, you do whatever works for you, and don’t let someone tell you that you should bottom because you’re slim. Honestly, the best sex happens for verse guys anyway, so you really shouldn’t let you or someone else limit you to a sexual position just because of how you look.
5. You’re perceived as dumb
This is the one that stings. Maybe you’re young and inexperienced, sure, but that doesn’t make you less intelligent than some muscle head. Twinks are basically the gay’s answer to the blonde bimbo stereotype of the hetero world. Desirable, fuckable, note-worthy, simply because of a few genetic predispositions. Fuck that, the gay community is far more diverse for that and I’ll slap a hoe that says otherwise.
If there was a gay-oriented James Bond film or two, there’d definitely be a twink love interest for the older hitman. It’s a little strange how we continue to portray a single body type as desirable with a strong backhand. You don’t see the muscle heads getting mocked, well maybe that’s because of, you know… the muscles, but the point still stands. Why do we have to pick a stereotype to mock within our own community? We all experienced some form of discomfort surrounding our sexuality as we grew up, I even experienced it in the workplace as a grown-ass man.
Just because you look like a twink doesn’t mean you have to accept or fight the label. You can always choose to be yourself and you should. Hiding who you are just to conform to a sexualized stereotype is not worth your time, dude.
You don’t have to be white to be a twink if that’s what you want, and you certainly don’t have to be a bottom. At the end of the day, you should be desirable by being who you are. You’ll find yourself a man who believes the same, I promise. There’s nothing written in stone that you even have to stay a twink either, lift some weights or eat some food, put on whatever pounds you want, or don’t, idgaf.
Whatever you do, be yourself, you don’t have to pretend to be a dumb fuck just to land a hot date. Live your authentic life in whatever way you want!
