6 Essential Tips To Get The Most From Grindr & Other Hookup Apps
Dating and hookup apps (i.e Grindr, Scruff, Hornet, Jack'd) have, in many ways, made the dating scene a lot easier to navigate for gay men...
It used to be we would have to do some pretty sketchy stuff to find guys who are looking to get down. Gone are the days of strolling through "that" park at night or hanging out in some of the seedier parts of town where you knew there'd be other guys looking.
However, with all this new convenience there is also a lot of new BS to try to figure out, and in many ways, dating and hooking up is just as complicated as ever, it's just a different kind of complicated. Cruising a park or someplace you knew guys would be prowling was dangerous, but at least you only had to worry about the sorts of creeps who were brave enough to actually go out looking for prey.
Nowadays, hookup apps are like a catalog creeps and psychos to leisurely browse while sipping a latte in their favorite coffee shop.
Aside from the issue of safety, new forms of etiquette are popping up in the online world and it's easy to drown in the tidal waves of "dos and don'ts".
So, what's a thirsty boy to do? Here are 6 must-know tips to safely get the most out of your hookup apps.
Nowadays, hookup apps are like a catalog creeps and psychos to leisurely browse while sipping a latte in their favorite coffee shop.
6. Sell The Sizzle
As I mentioned earlier, hookup apps are like a catalog you can browse to find just the thing you want, and like a catalog, you have to be a bit of a salesman. If your favorite candy bar came in a gray wrapper with the word "Candy" printed on it, would you have ever tried it in the first place?
What I'm saying is, try to inject a little razzle-dazzle into your profile. Make a joke, say something about yourself that sets you apart from the rest of the guys posting shirtless selfies and dick pics from their bathrooms. We know you like music and hanging out with your friends, everyone does. What else ya got?
Try to think of the kind of guy you are looking for and what they like and make that guy your target audience. Be sure to accent the qualities you possess that would make a guy like that want to know more. I'm not saying you should catfish or lie, though. Which brings us to our next point...
5. Just Be Honest
One of the best things about hookup apps is that they are a great way to cut the bullshit and get exactly what you are looking for. If you go to meet a guy you picked up on Grindr and it is immediately obvious that his pic is ten years and about a hundred pounds older, it's bound to piss you off and you'll feel like you've wasted your time and, chances are, the date is only going to go downhill from there. So, Wouldn't you imagine the same to be true for the other guy if you misrepresented yourself to them?
Really, it's a pointless thing to do, lying on your profile. We all have things about ourselves that make us feel a bit self-conscious or we would like to be different, but for every guy who feels like he's too chubby there's another guy who just thinks of it as "more cushion for the pushin' " and would love nothing more than to get down with a Nintendo-chunky boy for the night.
If you are honest about what you are serving up, you're bound to have more successful meetups because the other guy isn't going to feel cheated in some way.
4. Use A Screen Name Instead Of Your Real Name
It's true that we no longer have to worry about cruising back alleys and seedy parks, but the world of online dating is, in many ways, a new sort of skeezy back-alley. At least in the park you can see and hear when someone else is near and decide if they are threatening or not. Online, there are thousands of invisible faces leering at your profile and there's no way to know if they are creeps, con men, or simply nice dudes looking for a bit of fun on a Saturday night.
The less factual personal information you can give online the better. It's best not to exchange names until you've met the guy and have had a chance to decide if he's a creep or not. Speaking of which...
3. Talk To Them On The Phone Before Meeting Up
There is a lot of things about a person that get lost when they are speaking in text. Many of our gut feelings about a person come to us by way of speech and vocal mannerisms, and one of the best ways to tell if a guy is a creep or not is to simply talk to them.
Listen to the guy throughout the conversation and see if anything sets off your spidey senses. If a guy seems a bit psycho or creepy, go with your gut and take a pass on meeting up. Better safe than sorry. Chatting on FaceTime or Skype not only lets you hear their voice, but verify that their pictures are accurate.
2. Nix The Nudes On Your Profile
You see a lot of guys posting dick pics and nude shots on hookup apps, but that doesn't mean you should follow suit. Dating and hookup sites are an amazing resource for blackmailers and conmen, and you should always avoid giving people like that ammunition.
Another thing to consider is online security. It's not uncommon for glitches or hacking to raise hell in online dating communities. Look at what happened with AshleyMadison.com a few years back. If you wouldn't want your boss or mom to see a picture you are considering posting, you might want to reconsider posting it all. It's entirely possible that it could be seen by anyone if something goes wrong on the website.
If you want to exchange nudes with a guy you are considering for a hookup, just get his number and exchange them privately (i.e FaceTime, Skype). This is also a great way to break the ice about talking on the phone with the guy before you meet up.
1. Play Safe
I don't just mean you should bring condoms, which you should, I mean you should do everything in your power to make sure that you come home safely at the end of the night.
There are a number of steps you can take to help ensure that you are well taken care of in the event that something goes sideways during your meeting.
1. Tell a friend where you are going to be.
Make sure they have a concrete address and, if plans change, be sure to let them know. You should also have a special codeword you could text them to let them know you need them to come help you out or that something has gone terribly wrong. Finally, you should always let your friend know when you are home safe or that everything is fine.
Using Whatsapp live location sharing is a great way to keep your friends informed on your location when meeting new people on Grindr.
2. You should always meet a hookup in a public place for the first meeting.
Neutral ground ensures that you have an opportunity to judge whether the guy you're meeting is sketchy or not so you can decide whether or not to invite them over or go back to their place.
3. If a hookup is coming to your place, be sure to hide anything of obvious value.
You don't know who this guy is, so you shouldn't trust them not to lift your stuff.
4. Always listen to your instincts, that's what they are for.
It would be a shame to waste millions of years of mammalian evolution by ignoring your finely tuned danger sense now. If a guy seems shady or dangerous, it's just not worth the risk.
It's better to spend the night alone with your Fleshlight than it is to be in some hole somewhere putting lotion into a basket to avoid getting the hose again.
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Hooking up online can be incredibly fun and it's an awesome way to inject a bit of adventure into your life. With just a little bit of forethought and some common sense, you can have the time of your life and sidestep all the garbage that comes with going out on the prowl.
Just be sure that you are doing everything you can to make yourself as appealing as possible to the guys you want to attract, be honest about yourself and what you are looking for, and make sure to keep yourself safe and it won't be long before your inbox isn't the only thing that's getting stuffed.
