Gay sex is the most fantastic form of sex there is. How can it not be? Two guys, two penises, two testosterone-driven desires ready to devour each other... But, having said that, the excessive amount of sexual energy oozing from both (or all of the) guys involved can often lead to sexual experiences that are just way too fast to make an actual impact.
Trust me, I know. There's nothing wrong with a quicky now and then or even a lot of them in a row. However, making this your go-to default speed should never be how you experience sex daily. A quicky can be hot and incredibly arousing, especially when there's a risk element involved. So no, I'm not dismissing quick sex; I'm just stating that a balance between both is the way to go!
You may not have the time or energy to pursue longer sexperiences. If that's the case, then, PLEASE, find the time and energy! YOU'RE MISSING OUT! Our current lifestyle is training us to believe we must be as efficient and as effective as possible, but this should never apply to sex! If you're measuring sex by how efficient you are, you're doing it wrong!
Slow sex is not just for steady couples or for making love. Slow sex is all about enhancing the experience to the fullest, enjoying every way you're being touched, and experiencing orgasms that are extra fulfilling, thanks to the whole experience.
Just think of it as food, we often dive into our meal and eat it without a second thought, but when your favorite dish is served, you enjoy every single bite of it and take your time savoring the whole experience. From the taste, the smell, and the delicious sauce dripping from that massive chunk of meat (yes, I'm still talking about food), taking your time to enjoy something you love makes everything way better.
So, now that your mouth is watering (whether from the food talk or the dripping meat), let's dive deeper into all the pros of gifting yourself the time to enjoy slow sex.
1. Fucking lasts longer.
I know stating the obvious may seem pointless. However, taking your time to enjoy each other's bodies, your partner's taste and smell, savor the sensual touching of bodies... It will lead to a more extended, more satisfying experience.
You're not rushing, so you don't have to focus your whole attention on the dicks at play. In turn, you can pay extra close attention to the different erogenous zones in your partner's body, and he can do the same to you. As a result, you'll get more aroused, you'll shiver from the constant teasing and pleasure, and you'll enjoy the fucking way more thanks to this sensual anticipation.
Think of it as quenching your thirst. If you're constantly sipping water, the process becomes mechanical. But you're never in desperate need of water, so it's just mildly refreshing. Now, think of a hot summer day, you're hot, thirsty, and there's this incredible shirtless hunk right in front of you, slowly drinking a nice, cold bottle of water, some of it dripping down his chin. You require immediate hydration, it's right in front of you, and this hot dude is just making you so much thirstier. Then, suddenly, he turns around, offers you a sip, and you finally get a taste of the cold life-bringing liquid you've been in desperate need of. I assure you that you'll feel like that gulp of water is the best you've ever had.
It's the same thing with sex. Quickly cumming every single time gets boring to a certain extent, but add some nice foreplay, take your time while fucking, and you'll get an even more cumtastic orgasm. Heck, you'll have so much cum (fun, I meant fun, damn autocorrect!) and pleasure that reaching orgasm may not be the end goal this time!
2. It's easier to connect.
Even if it's just your trick of the night, sex can be made better by connecting with your partner, even if just for that sexual moment. Taking things slow gives you the time and space to look at each other's eyes, sync your breathing and even cum at the same time. Getting fucked (or fucking someone) while actually seeing them makes the experience way more powerful. I could go into some scientific facts about why making eye contact during sex enhances the experience, but let's skip that part and just put faith in my words and go look your partner in the eyes. Then, come back and thank me for the better experience.
Of course, if you're in a relationship, this is the time to increase intimacy and keep connecting on a deeper level. Show your feelings through your dick in the most magnificent way!
3. Light touches make for harder erections.
When going fast, things tend to be rougher in every sense. As I've said before, I'm not against a quick-and-rough fuck session, but we're here advocating for slow sex so, let's keep going in that direction. In the fast scenario, you don't get to play with each other's bodies as much. When you do, the pace tends to roughen up your movements and the ways in which you grab different body parts (again, still talking about sex, not a murder scene).
When slowing down, you get the chance to caress your partner's body. You can lightly brush the back of your hand on his chest, make circles around his nipples, even lightly blow some air on them. He can caress your entire body, gently massaging your balls and ass, all while staring into your eyes and maybe coming down for a slow, deep kiss.
All of these actions (as well as other foreplay involved) will guarantee that the erections of everyone involved are hard as rods of steel. Honestly, this is also the perfect way to have a long, hard look at the dick you're about to take up your ass. If he's a grower instead of a shower, you're just in time to receive a fake call and run like hell outta there (I mean, if you don't back down from a challenge, the more power to you!).
4. You can actually edge each other.
Looking for an orgasm that's just way more intense than your average cum moment? Edging is the way to go! Since you're not rushing, you and your partner(s) can bring each other to the brink of orgasm without actually going over the edge. Do this a few times (it gets harder not to nut every time you do, be careful) and, when you all finally cum, it will be ridiculously more intense! If you're a cumwhore like me, then this is the best way to get as much man-milk as possible too. Yum!
Side note, it's best to actually talk about edging before engaging in it since, if you and your partner are not on the same wavelength, they can become frustrated by this. If, on the other hand, you use edging as part of a power-play between you two, then, by all means, enjoy being in control.
5. It helps keep the pressure off.
A lot of guys have experienced a case or two of whiskey dick, right? Some have also been unable to cum or even maintain an erection long enough to actually cum (been there, face ready to take a facial, and then the dick going suddenly limp and my waiting face as dry as a Drag Queen's mug... not the best experience). These situations are further aggravated when facing the shame or pressure to be able to perform, which in turn makes cuming or getting the erection back up way harder.
So, with slow sex, these kinds of problems can present themselves without actually spoiling the adventure. If whiskey dick makes an appearance, a nice, slow make-out session full of touching, licking, and body brushing can create enough of a sensual spark to sober that cock up. When cumming is taking too long, then slow sex makes the person feel more comfortable, and all of the things we've discussed will help keep him (or you) aroused so you can actually climax. If not, then there's no big deal! If the experience was as sexy and as fun as slow sex can deliver, then cumming is not even necessary.
6. You get to mix it up.
A quick hook-up can have a lot of variations, but it's very limited by time. You get to try some stuff, but not a lot. When taking your time, you can take advantage of all your sex toys; you can get freakier than the Freaky Friday movie with anything from the kitchen (talking about food and edible stuff, please never use knives when having sex!); you can start in the living room couch, move to the stairs, cum in the bedroom and then chill in the shower... my point being, there really is no limit to what you can do and how you do it!
It can even save you from awkward situations! Say you brought a hottie home, but in the loudness of the club, you misread the situation, and now there are two bottoms in serious need of a top. No problem! You pull out your best double-ended dildo, a lot of lube and enjoy the hottie's body to your heart's content while stuffed to your ass's content. It's the same case with two tops since you'll be sharing your fleshlight and, if you're into that, experiencing sloppy seconds and using the other's cum as lube. When taking your time, no amount of miscommunications or misunderstandings can stop you from having the time of your life.
If you don't have any toys, don't be afraid to buy some basics and try them out. The concept of slow sex also applies to self-love. Masturbating shouldn't just be your before-sleeping activity; it should be as cumtastic and glorious as even some of your best fucks. So, get yourself some dildos, butt plugs, a fleshlight or two, a lot of lube (A LOT), and start experimenting. Take your time when playing with yourself, use a dildo to caress your own body, pretend it's an actual dick, and live out some of your best fantasies in the hands of, well, you. As mama Ru would say (if she was talking about sex, not Drag Race), if you can't make love to yourself, how in the heck are you going to fuck somebody else? I won't even ask for the Amen now because I know I got it from you all.
Slow and steady wins the race.
We've heard it a million times, and that's because it's true! Even One Direction's hottie Niall Horan sings about it: "Slow sex, like sweat dripping on our dirty laundry...". I mean, the lyrics go slow hands, but he's obviously talking about sex, so... Yeah, slow sex is (or should be) what's in right now!
So, go and share this blog with your friends, spread the word! Go out and preach the slow sex gospel! Enjoy quick encounters from time to time, but remember to actually live and breathe your next sexcapade; you deserve it. Sex is more than just cuming and leaving, and I'm sure you'll be as convinced as I am the more you practice savoring the moment and going for the full slow sex experience.
