Getting nudes makes my day! There, I said it, the male perspective. A little NSFW pick me up in the middle of my day that has me running out the door when the clock hits the end of my day. If you’re like me, the man in your life is the sexiest thing in your life and receiving your S.O.’s nudes gets you excited. Fuck, there’s nothing wrong with it, even if the dude isn’t your man, he could just be some boytoy you enjoy the view of.
Sending nudes blindly can be risky though, especially if you don’t know the receiver as well as you might think. Even asking for nudes in a long-term relationship could be weird or awkward if you’ve yet to strike up the conversation before. You end up with a new addition for your spank bank, but how do you even go about asking for nudes?
For starters, nudes are like buttholes, everyone’s got one, but not everyone wants to see yours. This can seem shocking to some of the golden tanned headless torsos on Grindr. We get it, you think you’re pretty. Nudes can be so much more than just a photo though, so you have to respect the person who’s giving you a nude or receiving yours. Did you get consent before you sent one or are you just giving them a proverbial slap in the face with your digitized member?
These are super serious concerns that you should be sure of before clicking send on that sitting-on-the-toilet dick pic… just why? So, before you launch headfirst into a whirlwind of nudes, I thought I’d give you some cautionary advice about apps like Grindr and sending nudes.
When should you send a nude?
After you’ve gotten consent, first of all, boys. You can play it up and it can be part of the whole fun of it if you play your cards right. Build up some sexual tension, send a classy 🍆💦?? emoji combo or ask something like, “Do you want to see another side of me? 😈” Obviously, timing is everything, don’t just go in flailing and shouting, “Show me meat! Show me meat! 🍆🍆” Show some finesse and build up to nudes before coming off too strong.
If you’ve never asked your partner for nudes before, telling them that you enjoy their body and seeing all its sexiness in the middle of work brightens your mood or gets you horned up. Whatever it is, just communicate it, that’s where it all starts.
You’re better off to wait for when the conversation is a little more ‘woof’ worthy anyway. That way the receiver can guarantee they’re prepared and willing to even receive something from you. Warm up with a little sexting before even asking for steamy pics. Plus, sexting can be a huge turn on and might help pave the way to that glorious hole or dick pic you’re looking for.
If things are heating up, textually, then it might be the perfect time to pop that question.
So, when is it actually time to ask for nudes?
When it fits into the conversation. That’s the best time, guaranteed. You’re both already riled up from a naughty texting sesh, and you say, “I’ll show you mine if you show me yours.” Perfect, good boy! You’re setting it out there clearly and giving them the opportunity to say no. You’ve also set yourself up for success with the digital foreplay, building a connection before a ‘NOODS PLZ’ text.
If you’re sending nudes to your boo while they’re at work, make sure they’re already comfortable with this. Communication, as with every other part of a relationship, is key when sending nudes. The last thing you want is a close up of your tush being the reason they get fired, but it can also be very exciting for both of you. Just make sure everyone is okay with the scenario before they open your next message with anticipation in the staff lounge and Suzie from accounting sees your manhood in all its ‘glory’.
Take a look around, figuratively, if the conversation already involves a few eggplant emojis, you could be in the right zone to request a drool-worthy dick pic.
How the heck do you ask for nudes?
Being too direct can be off-putting, be a little flirtatious or sly if you can. It can go a long way to opening the doors to their vault of nudes. If you want my advice, I would say you’re way better off to offer up swapsies or just ask if they want to see your nudes. If they like what they see, they’ll likely reciprocate because you created a pressure free environment.
Straight up asking for something a little more X-rated than the Facebook profile photo can be pretty daunting if you’ve never met before. Even on other apps, like Tinder where it’s easier to have multiple photos uploaded, it’s still good to approach with a bit of tact. Just ‘cause he has a beard, doesn’t mean he wants a screenful of cock.
Personally, I think emojis go a long way. Not only can you highlight the area you want to see, but it shows a playful and fun side of your personality. It also can be a window looking into what they’re into, sexually. Peach emojis will tell you he’s an ass-man and a classy eggplant is asking for a dick pic. Just know that they are in no way obligated to send nudes, so don’t push too hard or you’ll just become ‘that guy’ very quickly.
Knowing your audience will go a long way to shaping how you ask for a nude.
You’ve sent a nude, but you don’t want anyone else to see it
Girl, TFB. Yes, I said it. Too. Fucking. Bad. I am positive I have not received a dick pic that I didn’t end up showing my bff. The girl is married, let her live. But, also, don’t expect your nudes to be perfectly private if you’re sending them to people via the internet. Duh. I’m just being honest.
We should all know by now that the internet is forever, anything you put up on the web or send over the web can and will be screenshotted or sent along to someone you didn’t intend to receive it. This goes for your bomb ass pic. Apps like Snapchat give you a delusion of control, by showing you an icon indicating your pic has been screenshot. So what? Now all you know is that it’s being kept at the very least for their spank bank, or worse sent to their entire circle of friends.
Be cautious of who you’re sending nudes to. The last thing you want is for your pic to end up online attached to your name. Sending nudes drunkenly to an ex, looking at you Tyler, is, unfortunately, your own undoing. There are actually quite a few apps out there that require dual codes to be used to even view previously sent pics. While they provide a bit more security, there's still the ultimate work around. Using another camera or phone to take a picture of the screen they’re viewing your nudes on.
If it’s worth the risk, by all means send off your nudes, daddy. No judgement here.
I’ve got a couple more tips in this department, so read on:
- Password protect your phone for fuck’s sake. If you still live at home, you don’t want your mama looking for a family photo and coming across your family jewels. Save yourself the awkward dinner convo, even if you’re visiting, and have a password on your phone. Even a secondary password requirement to view your naughty pics is a great idea, with apps like Secret Photo Vault, on iOS, this is becoming easier and easier to do. Even just relocating your nudes can go a long way to keep you from unwanted embarrassment.
- Screenshots can and will be taken of your private parts. Everything becomes not so private when you’re involving technology. Whether they openly screenshot it, with apps like Instagram and Snapchat, which I already mentioned, will notify you in some capacity that you’ve been screenshotted. But no app can tell if another device altogether has been used to in some way record your nude. At the end of the day, nothing actually prevents your nudes from leaking.
- How much do you trust the person you’re sending this nude to? If you’re at all worried it might get out of their hands and that makes you uncomfortable, don’t send it. Simple as that. Sending nudes really depends on your ‘give a fuck’ meter. If you’re a hyper-tense person, I just wouldn’t send them, but if you’re proud of your cock-shot then maybe you don’t care. Again, no judgement, just be honest with yourself.
- Scruff, Hornet, Taimi, and other dating apps all let you send photos and are all just as risky as the next. Sending nudes isn’t any safer just because you can hide some of your less formal photos until the time is right. No matter what, you run the risk of leaking your nudes to the internet. So, just try, at least a little, to vet whoever your sending your next dick pic to.
Being a complete control freak when it comes to nudes is just as off-putting as an unwanted dick pic - I assume, I’ve never gotten a dick pic I didn’t enjoy, at least a little. Sending nudes comes with a ton of risk. Your pics could be used for blackmail, in a revenge porn scenario, or simply leaked to people you just didn’t want to see your goods.
All-in-all you take the risk with the reward that might be reciprocated nudes. Regardless of if you’re in a relationship, if you are underage it is VERY illegal to take and send nudes of yourself. Be cautious or you could end up with an unwanted record for a few minutes of thrill. Not worth it. Even consensual sharing could put you on a sex offenders list in no time.
At the end of the day, who you send nudes to is up to you, just make sure you’ve gotten consent, so they’re not blindsided. And make sure you know the person your sending these photos to, whether it’s a casual hook-up for later tonight, a long time fuck buddy, or even your life partner, knowing who is on the receiving end will help keep you protected in the long run.
Stay safe out there and keep your private parts as protected as you can, or don’t.
