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A Newbie's Guide To Prostate Massage

Prostate Massage Newbie Guide

If you're like most men, you've probably heard tales of the face-melting orgasms that can be achieved through proper stimulation of your prostate gland...

For some guys, it seems like some sort of mythical, orgasmic treasure trove that is forever eluding their search. I have even heard some men online say it is exactly that, mythical. I'm here to tell you that this treasure does exist and is easier to find than you may think.


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Like any treasure that's worth a damn, you're gonna want a map before you go looking or you'll probably just end up wandering around frustrated. Hopefully, this quick guide is just the map you've been searching for to unlock the secrets that lie buried in your magical cave of wonders! But first, let's get to know the terrain a little before we strike out on our quest!

What Is The Prostate, Anyway?

what is the prostate

The prostate is a walnut-sized gland found between the bladder and the penis that is responsible for the production of a fluid that protects and nourishes your sperm. It's about the size of a walnut and encircles your urethra.

When you are about to cum, this gland secretes a nourishing, protective fluid into the urethra as the sperm passes through. It's kind of like a truck stop convenience store where your sperm get road-snacks before they head out for their big adventure.

Okay, Where Is The Prostate?

where is the prostate

Like I said, it is found between the bladder and the penis, but that's not quite the whole story- there is a much shorter, and pleasant route to the prostate through your anus. The walls of your anal cavity run right up against the prostate in a certain spot, about 3-4 inches past the entrance to the anal canal. That's just a fancy way of saying it's about 3-4 inches past your asshole.

If you imagine inserting a finger into your funhole and curving it up toward your belly once you get about 3-4 inches in, you'll have a good idea of where it is located. If you take the extra step of actually inserting your finger and poking around a bit, you will definitely know it when you find it. It's not shy about letting you know when you have, thanks to the massive nerve cluster that surrounds it. This incredible bundle of nerves is what makes prostate play so intense. Now that we know where we are going, let's take a closer look at how to get there.

First Things First- Get Prepared.

preparing for prostate massage

There are a few preparations you're going to want to make before you strike out on your prostate adventure. The first thing you're going to want to do is make sure you're all nice and clean down there to avoid any unpleasant mess.

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You'll want to be sure you're all emptied out down there as best you can, so try to drop a deuce an hour or two before you start experimenting. This will not only clear up as much unwanted fecal matter as possible but will also serve to help you to relax. Relaxation is an incredibly important aspect of achieving a prostate orgasm. If you really want to be sure you don't have any unwelcome fecal visitors while you're down there, you might consider rocking an anal douche before you begin.

Another important thing to take care of before you begin is to be sure your nails are well trimmed and any sharp edges are filed down. The rectal wall is an extremely thin barrier and is a perfect place for all sorts of nasty bacteria and micro-organisms to find their way into your bloodstream, in addition to being extremely easy to nick or tear, which can easily lead to infection, thanks to the incredibly bio-active nature of your rectal cavity.

The last thing you're going to want to do is to be sure you have plenty of lube on hand to make the process as smooth as possible. Seriously, lube is your best friend with any sort of anal-play- don't skimp!

climax water based lube
Water-Based Lube by Climax Burst

Time To Get Excited!

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To begin with, you're going to want to get yourself nice and worked up. Sexual arousal causes the prostate gland to begin filling with the liquid it produces, causing it to swell. This makes it much easier to find.

Get yourself nice and hard, lube up your hole and fingers really well, and start spelunking! As I mentioned earlier, your going to want to insert your finger into your rectum pad side toward your belly. Start applying gentle pressure to the area about 3-4 inches past your hole until you feel sensation. You're looking for a rougher-textured, walnut-sized bump.

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If you are having trouble finding your prostate, experiment with higher levels of pressure. Don't get crazy, but don't be afraid to press a little harder if your gland is being shy. Again, you'll know when you found it. It feels pretty damn intense. Don't get discouraged if you are having a hard time finding your gland, persistence is key and the payoff is well worth the trouble!

Found It! Now What?

prostate massage

Now that you've located your prostate, it's time to start working it. There are a number of techniques you can use to stimulate your gland, and the key is to switch things up a bit as you go. There is no single technique that gets the job done every time, for the most part, and the body can adjust to the sensation of one technique and become sort of "bored".

By varying the pressure and motion, you can keep your nerves interested in what is happening so that they'll keep the train rolling toward the final destination. Here is a quick run-down of the most effective techniques to get your motor roaring.

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Always be sure you are using the pad side of your finger for maximum pleasure and safety.

  • The Stroke

    This is the classic "come here" motion you make with your finger when you'd like to indicate to someone you'd like them to approach you. Try to keep a steady, slow rhythm going and be sure to vary the pressure from time to time. Also, be sure you are stroking, not poking. If you are using two fingers, try to alternate the stroke between fingers, one then the other, and then switch it up by stroking with both at the same time.

    Start off at a slower tempo and build from there...

  • The Tap

    This is sort of like tapping the keys on your keyboard and the amount of pressure you use to begin with should be about the force of a keystroke, quick and somewhat firm. Once you have a good, pleasurable rhythm going, begin to experiment with higher and lower levels of pressure to find what feels best for you. Since every guy is a little different, pay close attention to what you like and file that away for future sessions.

    If you're using two fingers, try experimenting with tapping them both at the same time and individually to keep your gland interested.

  • Circles

    Experiment with making gentle circles around the edge of your gland and working your way toward the center as you increase the pressure. Again, variation is a great way to keep the nerves at attention. It's also a great way to find what feels best when you're just getting started.

    Experiment with making singular large circles, spiraling inward, smaller circles, and even lots of tiny little circles that would look like curly-cues if you were finger painting. As always, experiment with varying levels of pressure as you do so.

  • Pulsing Pressure

    This is a lot like the tap method, only you're going to want to keep the finger in contact with the prostate and simply pulse it upwards at varying degrees of pressure with varying amounts of time between each pulse. Start off slow, light, and rhythmic and work your way up to faster speeds and harder levels of pressure. If done correctly, this can be one of the most effective methods for many men to achieve a P-spot orgasm.

  • The Press

    This is less of a singular technique and more a maneuver to throw into the mix while performing other techniques. Simply press and hold for a bit. Experiment with different levels of pressure while doing this to find what feels best for you.

If It's Working, Keep It Up.

If you feel yourself getting ready to experience an orgasm, keep doing what you're doing until you're done!

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How Do I Know It's Working?

As you begin to approach orgasm, you will feel your prostate begin to flutter and quiver a bit. You'll also feel your pelvic muscles contract in preparation for ejaculation. Once this process begins, there is no turning back. Keep working that gland until you orgasm. You'll know it when you feel it, trust me!

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Should I Be Worried That My Dick Won't Stay Hard?

Not at all! It's incredibly common for men to experience an inability to achieve or maintain an erection during anal play. Nobody really knows why, it's just how it goes. Luckily, an erection isn't needed to achieve orgasm via your prostate, so just roll with it.

Does That Mean I am Damaging My Ability To get Hard?

Quite the contrary, actually. Prostate massage has a number of health benefits, including increased erectile function. For more about the benefits of prostate massage see our post "7 Surprising Benefits Of Prostate Massage".

A Little Help Here?!

Adam's Toy Box - prostate massage

The human finger isn't exactly the ideal design for prostate stimulation. It's pretty good, don't get me wrong, but it isn't ergonomically designed to tickle your gland and I am yet to find a finger with a built-in vibration function! A much better way to get to the promised land of prostate orgasms is to use a toy specifically designed to get the job done.

A cursory glance at anal sex toys for men will show you that there is no shortage of ingenious devices that have been designed with one purpose in mind, direct P-spot stimulation. If you are just starting out, you might want to try something simple like the Aneros Male Prostate Stimulator - MGX. This is a nice, straightforward design that is easy to use and much more effective, and less strenuous, than your fingers.

Aneros Male Prostate Stimulator - MGX

If you're looking for something with a few more bells and whistles, you might want to try something with a vibration function. Personally, once I got my LELO Loki, there was no going back.

Lelo Loki Prostate Massager

Lelo Loki Prostate Massager

In the end, how you choose to achieve you prostate orgasm is entirely up to you and your personal needs. For some, a finger is enough but some guys need a little extra help to get where they are going. One thing is for certain, however, once they get there, the never want to come back!

Shop our complete collection of prostate massagers.


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