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10 Ways To Add Some Heat To Your Sex Life

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Humans are a strange sort of creature. We tend to become comfortable in routines and, generally, we shun change. Obviously, the degree to which this is true varies from person to person, but often as our attachment to the familiar grows, that small part of us that longs for something different, something exciting, grows with it.

There is no area of our life where this is more evident than in the realm of sex. For whatever reason, people get caught up in the same-old-same-old while deep down they are restless and yearning for something a little kinkier, a little flashier, or just anything different from the everyday humdrum.

But where do you begin? How do you make a change from what you've always known if you don't know what you are missing in the first place? No worries! With these ten tips, you'll be on the road to exciting sex in no time!

Role Playing

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I know, I know! This can sound like some really hackneyed advice. Seriously though, cliches are often cliches because often contain more than a grain of truth. I'm not talking about the cliche type of role play you see hetero couples in bad mass market media engaging in- two people locked in their house dressed as the lusty farmhand and the farmer or whatever.

Get creative! Get out of the house and make a day of it! If you're going with the old "Stranger I met In A Bar" routine, actually go out to a bar and wait for your partner to "meet" you. If you want to do the "Hotel Employee/Guest" setup, rent a room and have the "guest" wait around the room for the "Bellhop/Room Service/Maid" to come by.

Basically, what I am saying is that the more effort you put into immersing yourself into a role play, the hotter it will be. 

Make Some Noise, People!

I mean it! Really let it out! All to often people clam up when they are having sex. I don't know about you, but I love it when my partners are vocal. If someone is pounding you so good you could just scream, well hell, maybe you should just scream. 

Some of the best, wildest sex I have ever had has been with guys who growl, and snarl, and yelp and moan loudly. It feels good when your partner can't help but vocalize how good they feel when you are fucking them and vice versa. Bonus points if you manage to say something completely filthy in there somewhere.

The Jackhammer Isn't The only Tool You Should Be Using

Don't get me wrong, I like a brutal pounding now and then as much as the next guy, but sometimes a change of pace is good. Don't get caught up in the routine of a little light oral and then on to the pounding til the job is done.

Sometimes it's nice to slow down, feel each others skin sliding together sensually. Cover yourselves in Gun Oil and writhe around against each other. It's like the difference between gobbling down your ice cream in a few bites and rolling the ice cream around your tongue for a bit. Savor the flavor!

Slowing down and prolonging the magic for awhile and then crescendoing into a furious fuckfest is about the hottest thing I can think of. 

Get Primal

Humans are animals who like to pretend they are not. There's nothing quite like letting the beast out of the cage when you fuck. Don't pretend that you're not an animal, embrace the fact that you are.

Really get rough! Bite and claw, snarl and growl. Just do what comes natural and fuck like a wild animal. Throw each other around a bit. Pin your partner to the bed and let them have it!

Obviously, don't actually bite or scratch to the point of injury, but walk right up to that line and you'll never look back.

Explore Those Kinks

Sadly, many people are shy about sharing their kinks with others or even accepting those kinks for themselves.

Don't be ashamed of what you like, explore it! Maybe BDSM has always been a thing you have been curious about but, for whatever reason, have shied away from. Take the plunge and give it a go! Maybe the reason you occasionally entertain the notion of BDSM is because some part of you knows that it is what you want.

I'm just using BDSM as an example here, the same can be said for any kink you have left hidden in the back corner of your spank-bank. Dust those babies off and put them to good use!

Fill That Toy box!

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Who doesn't like toys?! There is a whole world of crazy items you can get your hands on that will drastically improve the sensation and variety in your sex life. Something as simple as a vibrating cock ring can add a whole new dimension of feeling to even the most run of the mill sex out there.

Personally, I never saw the appeal of things like cock rings or ball stretchers, but eventually my curiosity got the better of me and I gave them a whirl. Now I'm a total convert.

Toys can be like condiments to the food of sex. They add variation to the flavor of your enjoyment and can be combined in different ways to personalize the flavor of your experience.

Work Those Angles


Everyone has different positions and angles of entry that affect them in different ways. Don't be afraid to experiment with different positions.

Sometimes just a little arch of the back in the right position means the difference between full bodied orgasmic explosion and simply having your ass pounded til you both squirt. You never know until you try, so be sure to switch it up now and then.

Unexpected Sex

All too often we get into a routine of fucking at certain times or in certain circumstances. This is especially true for people in monogamous relationships. We tend to fuck right before bed or when we just wake up or whatever.

If this sort of thing is going on with you, try just throwing in a surprise handjob on the couch, or maybe fuck somewhere outside the house to add a little excitement to the occasion. If you usually fuck at the same time and in the same places, no wonder you feel like things are a bit stale.

Experiment With Different Types Of Condoms


This was another lesson I wish I had learned earlier in my life. I always figured that a condom was a condom and I left it at that. Ribbed, studded, and extra thin condoms just seemed like novelties that would have very little effect on the quality of my sex.

I've come to really enjoy being topped by a guy wearing a studded condom, the difference is definitely noticeable.

On the other hand, when I am topping I won't use anything but a Skyn condom now. After I decided to experiment more with different condoms, I found that there definitely is a difference between a nice, quality thin condom and the plain old condoms you get at the clinic for free.

It's like the difference between running bare foot through the grass and running through the grass in a pair of work boots. It just feels better.

Experiment With Different Lubes

It's like Fort Knox back there 🙅🏼 (@washingtonmutual) #bestofgrindr

A post shared by Best of Grindr (@best_of_grindr) on

In my younger days, I never put much thought into the type of lube I was using. I just grabbed some Astroglide or KY while I was at the store and never gave it a second thought. But as I grew older and more adventurous and started to visit my local sex shop regularly, my curiosity again got the better of me and I decided to stop being such a cheap bastard and I tried one of those "fancy" lubes, as I called them.

I remember thinking the name of Gun Oil was hilarious, and with that being my only criteria I tried it. It was like a whole new world. I had never realized how viscous and sort of sticky Astroglide is until I felt the real deal.

These days I prefer Pjur's anal relaxing lube. I have an overly tight hole and it wasn't until I started playing around with different types of lube that I realized that anal didn't have to always hurt so damn much. Good lube literally saved my sex life. Don't skimp on the lube!

    Whether you are an older, more experienced man who has become set in his ways or a younger guy who is having trouble figuring out just where to begin, there is always something you can do differently to add more punch to your sex life.

    Hopefully, no matter which category you fall into, you will find this list to be a good jumping off point to help you create a little more heat when you share your meat! 

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