Gay sex is one of the best gifts we humans received from the maker (whoever or whatever it may be). Whether it’s just a handjob between bros, a nice blowjob, or some empowering anal sex, any act of the gay sex spectrum is just the most incredible thing ever.
So, it’s no wonder that many people are constantly developing new things to enhance the male-on-male sexperience. From sex toys to books on new and better sexual positions, the world is always giving us all the tools needed to enjoy sex more and more.
However, one thing remains true throughout the evolution of recent gay sex herstory...anal lube is, and forever will be, a true All-Star! No matter what new position you’re trying out or what new combo of toys is making you cum, all acts involving a penis are enhanced when using the right kind of lube. Yes, a good messy blowjob can produce enough saliva for a good handjob. Still, any other sex act that involves more friction (like anal sex) will feel way better with some real lube.
For all of you cumwhore’s out there who think cum is a good enough lube, remember that cum actually irritates the skin and dries up. This increases the risk of anal injuries or of some dick irritation. So, better stick to good ol’ fashioned lube and cum facials. That’s a winning combo!
So, now that we all agree that lube is fantastic and we all need to stock up on enough of it, let’s dive deeper into the subject. Although many people think it true, lube is not like Sauron’s ring, there’s no one lube to rule them all. Instead, depending on the occasion, activity (or activities) planned, location, and even fetishes, you’ll want to have more than one type of lube on hand.
So, before actually going into the list of the best lubes to whore around after the pandemic, let’s go into a little Lube 101. First, I’ll explain the different kinds of lube available to you, their differences and usages. Then, we’ll get to the list. Of course, if you already know all about lube and just want the list to go buy some because your Grindr hookup is on his way, then feel free to skip ahead.
Types of lube
While there are many formulas and variations available around the sex world, the three main types of lube are divided into water-based, silicone-based, and oil-based. But, what are their pros and cons? Let’s get right to it.
Water-based lubes
Water-based lubes are for the lube world what RuPaul’s Drag Race is for gay representation in mass media. Everyone knows about them in one way or another, and it’s the gateway into a deeper understanding of the scene. But why are they the most popular kind of lube? They’re very easy to wash off, compatible with anything (safe to use with condoms or any sex toy), and easier to find than a Grindr hookup.
However, the one big con (in my opinion) is that you need to re- apply constantly (it evaporates way too fast). This means using way more lube than with other options. It’s a good thing they’re the most reasonably priced, right? Oh, don’t forget, if you’re about to fuck in the shower or in a Jacuzzi, they’ll wash away immediately...
Silicone-based lubes
They’re not quite as popular as their water-based counterpart, more like the Michelle Visage of the lubes. Widely popular and liked, but they’re not RuPaul. However, just like famous porn star Alex Mecum, they’re super versatile! They are definitively the slickest option, which means you won’t have to re-apply again and again. They’re also the best choice if you’re fucking in a pool, hot tub, shower, or any other water play you may want to try.
They’re condom safe, so you can breathe easy while getting plowed (or plowing someone, I don’t judge). The downside to silicone- based lubes, however, is that they’re super hard to clean. Since they won’t evaporate on their own, you’ll need lots of soap and water—a small price to pay for the slickest sexperience, though.
Just remember, this lube is not safe for silicone sex toys (which are also the most popular), so you’ll want to keep some water-based at hand for them.
Oil-based lubes
Although they may be the least popular of the big three, they’re also the ones that last the longest. In keeping with the RuPaul analogy, they would be Shangela of the bunch; no matter how much you try, it’s not easy to get rid of them. They are great because they won’t irritate your skin as easily and are the “healthier” option. However, they’re not compatible with condoms, which is a crucial thing to keep in mind. They’re also super hard to clean up (the messiest of them all).
Not the best for anal sex, but their pleasant smells are superb for foreplay (try giving or receiving a handjob with oil-based lube, and you’ll see what I mean).
Organic/Natural lubes
If oil-based lubes are the Shangela, the organic/natural lubes would be Ivy Oddly. Not the most popular, you never know what to expect from them and, sometimes, even better than everything else. Natural lubes are harder to describe because, unlike the big three, the formula between them can be significantly different (even if they appear to be the same). The good? They very often contain ingredients that are great to moisturize skin and increase its elasticity. You might think: “well, I’m looking for a lube to fuck, not for a face cream.”
But these are actually awesome for especially tight guys or guys at the earlier stages of their bottoming journey. They help prevent anal injuries and offer good sliding power (although many need to be re-applied even more often than regular water-based lube).
If you’re going to try some natural lubes, I’d recommend you go for the Sliquid Naturals Swirl Lubricant. It’s a water-based formula that’s vegan-friendly, cruelty- free, and adds some flavor if you want to add a few blowjobs to the mix. They’re constantly ranked amongst the best lubes, even when compared to their lab-made counterparts. But, as I said, they’re not as popular. You definitely need to do more digging than usual before buying one.
Still, if you’re looking for something organic, good for your skin, and cruelty-free, this is the lube for you.
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As you can see, knowing the basics is vital before stocking up on lube. Instead of buying 10 water-based lubes, you now know that variety will be the ace up your sleeve next time you’re trying to impress a guy, or, you know, enjoy some time with yourself. Having some cumtastic alone play is always welcomed.
With all this in mind, let’s go to the list of the best lubes to whore around after the pandemic (I just love repeating the title of this blog post. Knowing there’s an end in sight to this pandemic nightmare makes me so happy).
Top 4 water-based lubes
In no particular order, the best water-based lubes for your post-pandemic fun are:
1. Pjur’s Back Door Comfort Water Anal Glide
We know Pjur is a good quality brand we can trust, and this water-based lube is great because, unlike most water-based lubes, its slickness lasts for a long time. The lube has a new hyaluronan formula precisely for that. So, if you want some intense anal play, be it with another person (or group of guys) or with one of your favorite toys, this is the lube you’re looking for.
The 100ml presentation is excellent for carrying around with you, or you could go for the 250ml one if you plan on using it A LOT (though it’s not as convenient to carry around). It’s also “ultra- moisturizing,” which is great for taking care of your hole. A happy hole is a pleasurable hole.
2. Gun Oil - H2O
Looking for the perfect travel companion? Look no further! The small-sized bottle and the remarkable staying power of this formula are the best combo for your next trip to Fire Island. You are allowed to carry it aboard a plane for your next fuckcation or fit it comfortably in your jeans pockets when walking to the nearest mall for a cruising adventure. It even comes with aloe vera, which is great for your skin, so you’ll actually be treating your hole right before having it destroyed by a bunch of cocks.
Unscented and glycerin-free, its long-lasting power makes it a very economical choice and the perfect travel companion.
3. Spunk Hybrid Lube
A personal favorite of mine, this water-based hybrid lubricant looks and feels like cum! Yes, like that delicious man-nectar we all know and love. While it doesn’t actually taste like cum (I wish!), it could easily fool you by just looking at it. If you’re like me, and you love cum, then you’ll love this lube.
It lasts long, just like a silicone-based lube, but cleans as easy as regular water-based. It is safe to use on your favorite sex toy (and works great if you have a squirting dildo since it looks so much like cum) and condom safe. It doesn’t get sticky and can be reactivated with water (and even sweat and real cum!). While it doesn’t have the typical chemical taste as other lubes, it still tastes like lube, so don’t be disappointed by the lack of cum flavor. Honestly, my favorite lube!
4. Sliquid Sassy Anal Gel Glycerine & Paraben Free
As I said when explaining all about the natural/organic lubes, Sliquid is at the top! This is a fantastic water-based, paraben-free, glycerin-free, and vegan-friendly lube. Many people make fun of the “vegan-friendly” part, but I mean, if you’re a vegan and want to avoid losing your vegan powers like Tod from Scott Pilgrim Vs. The World, then this is definitely something that interests you. You can suck a cock guilt-free by knowing the lube you’re tasting is approved by the vegan police.
The unique formula of the Sassy lube is excellent for a nice fuck session since it’s designed to last for longer than average water-based lubes. Also, since it’s easy to clean, feel free to use as much as possible, and don’t worry if it drips into the sheets, it won’t leave permanent stains.
Top 4 silicone-based lubes
In no particular order, the best silicone-based lubes for your post-pandemic fun are:
1. Anal Glide Extra Anal Lubricant & Desensitizer
This is the best lube for bottom noobs or for guys looking to expand their holes to new horizons. While the desensitization offered by this lube will help you take even the most hung guy (or guys), I only recommend using this lube while in the “training phase.” It helps manage the pain, but it also numbs the pleasure a bit. If he fucks you right and hits your prostate constantly, you will still be screaming your lungs out in pleasure, but the delicious sensation of a dick sliding in and out of you can be lost with this lube.
On the other hand, if you’re about to get gangbanged, this might be the best lube to take dick upon dick with utmost pleasure and be thankful for the numbness.
This silicone-based lube is condom safe and non-staining (which means you don’t need to put a towel on the bed... I mean, you probably should, but you don’t have to). I highly recommend having one around in case your next hookup has a huge dick that you’re not ready for. This way, you still get the fuck you were looking for while avoiding the intense pain.
2. Pjur’s Analyze Me! Relaxing Anal Glide Silicone
In keeping with the ease-your-way-into-rough-butt-sex theme, I highly recommend this fantastic Pjur lube. It’s made with Jojoba oil, which will help you relax and get loose for easier anal penetration. And yes, this was a good enough reason to use the word penetration (I’m looking at you, Fat Amy).
This lube also comes with a desensitizing effect, but it’s not as strong, which helps achieve maximum pleasure with greater comfort. Honestly, one of the best silicone-based lubes out there; you should definitively give this one a try!
3. Pjur’s Man Premium Extreme Glide
If you’re not interested in anything that can help you relax your bussy or avoid any discomfort, either because you’re a pro or because you get turned on by said discomfort. In that case, this is the best silicone-based lube for you! The extreme part of the name is no joke, this lube was designed with gay men in mind, and it’s sure to last long so you can go as hard as you want.
It’s odorless and tasteless (or as tasteless as lube can be), and it’s the perfect partner for you to unleash the inner whore that’s been in quarantine for far too long.
Go get gangbanged, or just get fucked by the same guy as much as possible. With this lube, you won’t be re-applying much, which is great for your wallet. Any guy will be gliding in and out of you while fucking your brains out with ease.
4. Spunk Pure Silicone Lube
If you are fonder of silicone-based lubes, you don’t need to miss out on the cum-like experience. Spunk also has this fantastic silicone lube that looks and feels almost exactly like real cum. It contains no glycerin, parabens, fragrance, odor, taste, or chemicals.
This is great if you want to pretend you’re getting fucked raw and bred. With this cum-like lube, you’ll feel your ass is dripping real cum when you’re done, and you can finish yourself off pretending you’re using your partner's cum as lube without it drying and irritating your dick as real cum would. I highly recommend this one.
Top 4 oil-based lubes
In no particular order, the best silicone-based lubes for your post-pandemic fun are:
1. Boy Butter Original
There’s a reason why Boy Butter has been around for so long. This exquisite coconut oil and silicone-based lube will melt when touching your skin in such a delicious manner. Moreover, it’s designed to last as long, if not longer, as regular silicone-based lubes. Odorless and won’t stain, and very easy to wash off (with simple water), this really is a premium quality lubricant.
If you’re into more extreme practices, like double penetration or fisting, Boy Butter Original is definitively your best friend.
2. Sliquid Naturals Soul
Another Sliquid lube that makes the cut, and with good reason. While lube is typically used for having sex (any kind of sex), this luxurious moisturizing lotion is great to use as an aftercare skin treatment. Especially good after your hole was destroyed (whether by a rough fuck from a partner or by being gangbanged).Made from coconut oil and shea butter combined with vitamin E and almond oil. You’ll feel like such a Regina George when using this on yourself.
As per Sliquid standards, this lube is all-natural, paraben-free, vegan-friendly, and comes in recyclable packaging. This way, you can be more than just a basic whore. You can be a responsible- -and-conscious-of-the-environment whore. It’s also great for a light masturbation session or just to play around with your hole for a bit. It’s perfect for sensual experiences, and you’ll feel like the queen you are.
3. Tom of Finland Fisting Cream
As the name says, this is designed with fisting in mind. The oil-based formula gives extra slickness and provides a numbing sensation for extra-deep penetration. I mean, if you’re getting fisted, you might as well have him go all the way up to his elbow, right?.
The cream is safe to use with all kinds of toys, so even if you’re just stretching your hole as training before getting to a real fist, you’ll have no problems. It’s not condom safe, though, so keep that in mind before getting fucked or using someone else’s toy. Even if you’re not into fisting, but love having your hole stretched by a thick dildo, this is the right lube for you.
Size queens from around the world that want to prove their hole can stretch the widest, this is your secret weapon. Buy it and go nuts with it.
4. Elbow Grease Original Cream
If you’re lucking for something that’s travel-friendly, provides excellent lubrication, and has been around for more than 40 years on the market, then this is for you. This thick mineral oil-based cream is a best-seller for a reason; it lasts for a really long time with just a dab of the product. Itfeels incredible on your skin, it’s super slick for great anal play, and you can even get the 1oz presentation, the perfect size to carry around with you when whoring around.Reliable as fuck and fantastic to the touch, what else could you ask for?
Still with me? Good! Now that we’ve gone through the top choices for your sexventures, it’s time for you to start shopping! Remember that owning a wide range of lube variations is the best way to be prepared for any occasion.
Your partner feels like fucking your face while using your favorite dildo on your ass? Go for one of the water-based or oil-based options in your drawer. About to get gangbanged? A silicone- based lube with some desensitizing properties is best. Up for some solo-play? Take your cum-like lube for a test and get wild with your imagination.
Lube offers a vast amount of possibilities to enjoy gay sex in ways that are just, simply put, better. Experiment with different kinds, see what you like and what you don’t, and buy accordingly. Most importantly, have as much fun as possible as soon as the pandemic is over. Release all that sexual frustration (or have someone release it in your ass), and become Queen Whore! You deserve it!
