So he goes down on you for the first time. He is super hot. Exactly the type of guy you always wanted to hook up with.

There is only one problem.

You fear that you won’t be able to finish, despite the fact that his tongue is the most glories piece of flesh to ever come into contact with your penis.

A lot of guys fear many things when it comes to sex...

Some fear they won’t get hard enough, others fear that they can’t last long enough to pleasure their partner. Others fear that they won’t be able to reach orgasm - and squirt their man juice all over their man’s chest or ass.

Rather than focusing on the pleasure, your mind wanders to whether or not you can reach orgasm - and you get caught up in expectations you think your partner may have rather than actually enjoying the awesome blowjob he is giving you.

Blowjobs are great, but some of us simply cant climax with oral stimulation alone…

If this nervous feeling sounds all to common, keep reading as I go through some tips on how to relax, enjoy, and let your man juice loose.

Porn Is Not Reality: Not Everyone Ejaculates from a Blowjob

While it is certainly true a porn-life experience happens to us once in a while, this is not usually the norm. Unless you are extremely sensitive, new to gay sex, or simply a die-hard fan of the oral arts, you probably will not bust your nut from a two minute blowjob in the club bathroom.

The penis is a lot more complicated than some make it out to be. Men can achieve orgasm a lot easier than woman, but that does not mean its automatic or guaranteed.

Simple stimulation does not equate to instant orgasm.

(Source: themarriagebed.com)

Besides, a lot of the time, most guys prefer to use oral as a means to a larger end: anal penetration.

Foreplay can be essential to getting your juices flowing, and getting you aroused enough for the main event.

While indeed a blowjob can be the treat you have been looking forward to all night, it may not be the only indulgence you or your partner may desire.

A guys failure to orgasm and cum during oral may be very similar to why he may fail in other forms of sex.

Some guys struggle to get hard during anal, while others simply cannot get used to the idea of bottoming. As everyone knows, the largest sex organ in the body is the brain: if you aren't there mentally, it is unlikely you will get their physically - despite the raging hard-on in your pants.

Perhaps a particular situation triggered some emotional trauma you experienced in the recent past? Or quite simply, maybe you are the type of guy that needs a lot more stimulation, body contact, and sensual play to really get off!

Some Guys Don’t Climax During Oral…

Determining the exact cause why a guy can’t finish during oral can be tricky to say the least…

If you or your partner are struggling with this issue, it may be helpful to consider different triggers that may be causing the problem: emotional trauma that may be triggered by oral sex, physical problems like erectile dysfunction, or perhaps temporary issues like stress at work, a recent argument, or an uncomfortable environment that may make sexual arousal impossible.

If you fear your mother may walk in on your with your guy - it can be quite difficult to get into the zone and focus on his mouth around your cock….

If you are stressed, your parasympathetic nervous system is activated. That is the body’s natural response system to danger. Your body is simply not programmed to get super hard and orgasm if you are experiencing fear or anguish.

Stressful thoughts can overtake sexy thoughts, and make it impossible to concentrate on sex.

That is why finding the right environment for oral, or any type of sex for that matter - is paramount for a good experience.

Some of us can get hard and get off pretty much any where. Others need a little planning and foresight. If you fall into that camp, practice can make perfect.

After finding the right spot where you are calm and easily aroused - enjoy it. Gradually thereafter change it up, and before you know it, you will be able to get off just about anywhere.

Of course, an obvious reason someone may not be able to get off from oral is because their partner is simply bad at it...

RELATED: How to Give Head - Gay Guys Guide to Amazing Blowjobs (7 Tips)

If you partner uses too much teeth, is not gentle when he needs to be, or simply just not that into sucking dick - the problem may be on his end rather than yours.

Communication is key here: tell your partner what you like - or don’t, and explore different positions for oral that you find sexy.

With oral - if you are having a good time, most likely so will your guy. Figuring our how the both of you like to experience it will go along way in improving the experience.

Sir Richards Control Silicone Cock Teaser

So I Can’t Climax Durning Oral. Now What?

If you have been having a hard time with oral - you are probably quite annoyed and frustrated right now.

Especially if this is a reoccurring theme in your love life…

The explosion of cum after a fun and sexy experience is definitely a victory we all look forward to. If it doesn't happen, it can feel quite shitty…

Here are 5 tips I have found that have helped me relax my mind during oral, and led to awesome blowjobs:

1. There is more to sex than oral…

Perhaps your favorite part of sex is anal. Let it be. Try to adjust your mindset to focus less on specific acts and rather on the whole experience, including your favorite and less favourite gay sex activities.

If you internalize the idea that there is more to sex than oral - you can enjoy oral without the added pressure to finish.

Once you let go, you might be surprised at our quickly you can cum.

2. Use your words during oral

If your partner is doing something you don’t like, let him know.

Don't stay silent! If you really like when he licks the tip of your head with his tongue - tell him how good it feels, and that it makes you want to cum. The more vocal you are, the more engaged oral will become.

Equally, if he is sucking too hard or too deep - let him know. The best route to great oral is open communication.

3. Use your dick…

Some people are not good at listening but need to be shown.

Show them with your hands, or reverse roles and show your guy how you like your dick to be sucked. Get involved in the process.

Also, be mindful of your partners needs. If they are enjoying giving you head - its more likely than not, it will help you get off faster and harder.

4. Every man is different

Every guy needs different amounts of suction, pressure, and speed to get off.

Some really like the sensation of over-stimulation, while others like to be teased and can explode all over the place with the warmth of a guys mouth.

Taking into account your needs and communicating them is key to improving your blowjob experience.

5. Speed and rhythm

Some penises really need a lot of stimulation and speed to get off.

One solution might be to incorporate a vibrating toy in the oral play mix. A simple male vibrator can be used to stimulate different areas of the penis not being pleasured by the tongue or lips.

Nexus Revo Intense Rotating Prostate Massager

For instance, the perineum can be stimulated while your man goes down on your penis head and shaft. You can also use a vibrating cock ring to stimulate the base of the penis while your partner sucks you off.

A vibrating bullet can be used to pleasure the inner bulb of the penis by pressing it up against the balls and perineum.

OptiMale Rechargeable Vibrating C Ring

Just remember, not finishing from a blowjob is not the end of the world. Everyone is different, and has varying strengths and weaknesses.

Relax, and don’t take oral sex so seriously. It may mean oral sex is just not something you can cum from - or simply you need more experience and a little patience before you achieve the happy ending you have always been looking for.

RELATED: 5 Essential Sex Toys To Up Your Mutual Masturbation Game