t's a common misconception among guys who are new to the game that anal is going to hurt no matter what they do, but I'm here to tell you that this is patently false. True, anal sex can hurt, but it really shouldn't hurt. 

Think about it, do you really think so many guys would be down for all that funky butt-lovin' that goes on if all they got out of it was a sore asshole and a day of walking funny? Probably not. The fact is, anal sex is extremely pleasurable if it's done right- You just have to know what you're doing.

So, how do you do it right? That's what we're going to find out today. Here are some handy tips to help you find your anal happy place so you can start having mind-melting anal fun that doesn't just end up being a pain in the ass.

1.0 Relax! Relax! Relax!

As you may have noticed by that subtle heading, relaxation is fundamental to having good anal sex. So, one of the first things you need to do is to truly dispel the notion that you're going to get hurt. If you go into your anal forays worried that you're going to get hurt, your going to be tense when the time comes to do the deed and your concerns will become a self-fulfilling prophecy. 

Another important factor in achieving the relaxed state of mind required for painless, pleasurable anal is having a gentle, understanding partner who is willing and able to put you at ease, both mentally and physically. Be sure to let your partner know you're an anal newbie. If they are a good top, they will know what to do from there- Heaven help you if they are a bad top...

Equally important to your mental state of relaxation is a physical one. If you notice you are tensing up down there, try to take some deep breaths and relax your hole a bit. It might take some practice, but once you get it right, you'll be on cloud nine. Speaking of practice...

2.0 Make Your First Few Anal Outings Solo Adventures

As I mentioned, having the right partner can make things a lot easier, but having the wrong one can be a painful disaster that might end up turning you off to anal for a long time. Wouldn't that be a shame?!

A great way to cut out the uncertainty of your partner's ability to put you at ease and guide you through your first steps into the world of anal is to cut out the partner altogether and practice on your own. Get yourself a beginner-sized toy or an anal training kit specifically designed to help you ease your way into anal play.

There are a number of kits available that come with everything you need to get started. These kits usually come with a set of butt plugs or anal stimulators that gradually increase in size to help get your whole accustomed to penetration over time.

By cutting out the X-factor of another person being involved, you allow yourself a good deal more control over how quickly you progress and you're able to dip your toe into the water until you're ready to take the big plunge.

3.0 Lube Is Your Best Friend

Good anal requires industrial-grade amounts of lube to keep things going along smoothly. However, quantity shouldn't be your only concern when it comes to lube. Not all lubes are created equal and I assure you, you will feel the difference. So, what should you look for in a good anal lube?

The first thing you are going to want to look for is a lube that has some sort of relaxation agent incorporated into the formula. When you first start out, it might be tempting to try a lube that has a numbing agent, as well but I would recommend against that. It's important that you are able to feel what is going on down there until you know your limits or you might exceed them and you don't want to know what that feels like.

Another thing you'll want to look for in a good anal lube is some sort of collagen or moisturizing agent added to the formula. This will help lend your skin increased elasticity and protection from chafing that often comes with taking your first steps into anal sex.

ANALYSE ME! RELAXING SILICONE ANAL GLIDE 

Personally, I prefer Pjur's Analyse Me anal lube. This lube is blended with natural jojoba oil, hits all the high marks I just mentioned, and is specifically formulated for anal by one of the leading lube producers in the world.

Ultimately, your mileage may vary and you will need to experiment on your own to find the lube that's right for you. Just try to find one that features all of the criteria I've laid out for maximum results.

4.0 Slow And Steady Etc. Etc.

Don't be fooled by what you see in porn, you're not going to be pounding away down there right out of the gate. That level of anal endurance takes awhile to build up to and it's important that you start off nice and slow and go at your own pace. There is very real potential to do serious damage to your downstairs mix-up, so don't be a hero- Nobody wants to hear the word "anal tearing" bandied about the emergency room in reference to their problem.

To avoid that nightmare scenario, start off slow by lubing up your finger and working it gently around your hole without penetration. Focus on relaxing and enjoying the sensation. I also find that a vibrating toy is a great way to get things loosened up down there and would recommend using the same method I just described for your finger to get things rolling.

If you're with a partner, analingus is the perfect way to get your hole loosened up for entry and it just feels great, besides.

When you're finally ready to penetrate, be sure your toy/finger/partner's dick is well lubed and that your hole is as well. I highly recommend a lube shooter, at least for newbies. They're an excellent way to ensure you have enough lube in all the right places with minimal fuss.

Lube Shooter by Clean Stream

5.0 Respect Your Limits And Know The Difference Between Pain And Discomfort

Like I said earlier, anal shouldn't be painful, but it can be a little uncomfortable when you first start out. For some guys, the feeling of stretching can be unpleasant, at least at first, but that's not the same as actual pain. Knowing the difference between the two is crucial to having safe, pleasurable anal fun.

Again, start off slowly and find your limits. As you become more accustomed to the sensation of penetration you will definitely want to stretch your limits, but never to the point of pain. If you experience sharp pain or intense burning, dial it back a bit and retreat into your previous comfort zone.

If you notice that you have broken the skin or find you are bleeding, stop what you are doing immediately and give yourself time to recover. Which leads us to our next point...

6.0 Take A Breather From Time To Time

When you first start out, you're going to want to maintain a balance between training your hole up and giving it time to recover between anal sessions. Eventually, you won't have to worry about this so much, but it's important to give your skin time to recuperate when you're an anal newbie. Rome wasn't built in a day!

Depending on your body's reaction to all this hullabaloo, you'll probably want to leave at least a day, maybe two, between anal sessions until you're trained up a bit.

7.0 Find The Best Position

While there are no fast and loose rules for which positions are best for anal because everyone's body and preferences are different, a good rule of thumb for beginners is to get on top. This will allow you to control the angle and intensity of penetration and allow you to go at the pace you need to avoid pain. As always, take it slow and work your way up.

After you've gotten your anal chops built up a bit, try to experiment with other positions and find which ones work for you and which ones don't.

8.0 Just Have Fun With It

Despite how it might sound, getting accustomed to anal sex shouldn't feel like your training for an Ironman competition. It's sex, it should be fun - Otherwise, what's the point?!

If you follow the above tips and give yourself over to the fun of exploring your sexuality, you should be out there packin' meat with the best of 'em in no time and loving every minute of it.

Have fun and stay safe!