The world of gay sex would be a pretty dark and horrific place if lube had never been invented. It's the thin slippery line that protects us from the ravages of being ravaged and besides, slippery sex is just more fun anyway...
Obviously, choosing the right lube is a huge part of maintaining good sexual health and enjoyment, but did you know that some lubes can be great for one type of sex and not-so-great for others?
Some lubes are great for hand or blowjobs but absolute garbage for hard anal, for example.
So what's a dry guy lookin' to get properly slippery to do?
Well, this guide will answer exactly that! But first, we'd like to say a few words about lube in general.
A Crash Course In Lube Types
Before we dive into the specifics of which lubes are best for which activities, we'd like to lay some basic groundwork on the general properties of the most commonly used types of lube out there. Here is the basic info you need.
Oil-based lube is any lube that is made from oil, obviously. These lubes are less-popular because are not compatible with condoms. They degrade the integrity of the condom and pretty much make them useless as protection against STI's. Another reason guys tend to pass on oil-based lubes is that they are notoriously difficult to clean up and can really wreck the hell out of your bedclothes.
Having said all that, oil-based lubes are extremely long-lasting, often help increase skin elasticity to ease insertion and prevent skin damage from taking on a top that's a little bigger than you can handle, and are easily the best choice for fun in the shower because they don't wash away.
This is lube that uses silicone to create a superb slickness that's pretty tough to beat. Silicone lubes are long-lasting, tend not to stain sheets, and hold up pretty well in water. The major drawback is that most of the best toys out there are made from silicone and cannot be used with silicone lube because they will break down.
Water-based lubes are excellent because they are compatible with all toys, condom-safe, and super-easy to clean up. They're no good for fun in the water because they wash away so easily but other than that, they perform similarly to silicone lubes in that they are light, slick, and non-staining.
There is also a category of lube that encompasses various mixtures of the other types. These lubes tend to provide a mixture of the pros and cons of whichever other types were used to make it. For instance, you'll want to be careful not to use a hybrid oil/silicone lube with condoms or silicone/latex toys for all of the reasons outlined above, but you'll have a killer lube for sex in the shower.
Now, Let's Get Down To Business! Lubes For Every Occasion
Now that the boring stuff is out of the way we can get down to the good stuff you came lookin' for! Here are some common activities and a few suggestions for which lubes would compliment them best.
Really, you can't go wrong with oil when it comes to massages. Depending on the oil you use, there are a number of attributes that make oil the king of sensual massage.
Many oil-based lubes and massage oils are scented and scent is an extremely primal sense that is linked to our sexuality and mentality far more than most of us realize. The effect is subtle but powerful. For instance, the smell of coconut oil is extremely relaxing and subconsciously reminds us of lounging on a tropical beach without a care in the world.
Another great quality of oil-based lube for massage is the fact that it can be heated. This helps draw blood to the muscles and skin where it is rubbed, as well as increasing the potency of its scent. All of this adds up to an extremely relaxed partner who's nerve endings are on high alert from the heat and improved blood flow. Besides, having warm oil slowly drizzled over your body is bound to get you pretty riled up!
Your best bet for massage oils is probably to get a massage candle like this coconut and pineapple number from Kama Sutra. It has an easy pour and contains Vitamin E, shea butter and coconut that work on both your scent and tactile senses.
Handjobs And Masturbation
Who doesn't like a good, old-fashioned tuggie from time to time? When it comes to handjobs, it's good to pick a lube that has a little something extra to bring to the table. Warming, cooling, and other "tingling" lubes are the way to go here. You also want a lube that is long-lasting so you don't have to keep stopping to reapply.
Unfortunately, oil-based lubes with added kick are pretty rare, they tend to be water or silicone-based. This leaves you with two choices, really. You can either have the long-lasting, sensuously thick, slick experience of an oil-based lube, or the tingly, chilly/warm sensation of a silicone-based warming/cooling lube.
If you go the oil route, you can't do any better than Sliquid Naturals Soul. It's chock-full of good stuff like shea butter, almond butter, and Vitamin E and it gives a nice, silky glide that doesn't quit until you do.
For a warming lube, Fleshlight makes an excellent formula they call "Fire" that is designed for use with their strokers but is surprisingly satisfying for general use. It lasts forever and if your hand isn't doing the job, you can always pull out the big guns.
If cooling is more your bag, Vulcan Ice will absolutely put that chilly in your willy. It's water-based, so it doesn't last as long as a silicone-based lube, but the glide is superb and the crisp tingle of this particular lube is a little more intense than most, without being over-the-top about it.
Now, we're entering some pretty thorny territory here. It's hard to recommend an anal lube to anyone because nobody knows how to take care of your funhole better than you. Anal lube preference is a pretty personal thing. So, we won't come out and say one way or another which lube is "best", we'll just lay out some properties of some popular anal sex lubes and let you decide.
Generally, most guys are looking for a long-lasting lube that coats well and allows the anus to relax and let it all slide and there is only one lube that absolutely crushes it based on these criteria, Pjur Original Light Formula. This is a super-concentrated silicone lube that offers surreal, almost frictionless glide that is simply unequaled. Seriously, don't take our word for it, look into it. This lube is famously slick with an unbeatable texture.
If you like things bigger and rougher, you're going to need something a little more heavy-duty, however. Well, it doesn't get much more heavy-duty than Boy Butter. This lube is a hybrid of coconut oil and silicone that has been homogenized to create a buttery, slick texture that coats well, stays slick, and glides like a dream.
If you don't like the tub-style packaging, there is also a squeeze bottle form available.
It might seem odd to think about lube for oral, but it's not as strange as you think. Sure, the mouth self-lubricates but spit is only so slippery and it's unreliable. Luckily, flavored lubes are a thing!
So, here's the case for flavored lubes for oral. First of all, slippery is always better. Well, lube is more slippery than spit. It also makes giving a blowjob more comfortable because your mouth isn't overworking to keep producing saliva and you can be. You've only got so much to go around! Also, you can be a little more relaxed because the lube is doing some of the work for you.
Finally, the flavor. Flavor means scent and, as we mentioned earlier, scent has a profound effect on us. Fun flavors like wild cherry have fun scents that put us in a more playful mindset. ultimately, that translates into less-inhibited, enjoyable sex.
Check out a few flavored lubes and see what strikes you. You'll be surprised just how much better a blowjay can be with a little extra glide.
Fisting And Extreme Insertions
A good fisting lube should be extremely slick, long-lasting, and it should evenly coat the anus and stay put once applied. There are two schools of thought on whether or not good fisting lubes should have numbing agents. One side says that it helps you focus on the action and not the discomfort while the other says that numbing agents pose a safety risk because pain and discomfort are how you know damage is being done.
If you are of the school of thought that says you shouldn't use numbing agents, you can't go wrong with Boy Butter. We mentioned it above under "Anal" because it is an all-around great lube, but it's also famous for being one of the best lubes out there for fisting and extreme insertions.
If you aren't afraid of a little extra help to get you through, Tom's Of Finland Fisting Cream is probably the fan favorite. It has all of the great qualities like sublime texture, smooth action, and longevity that you get with Boy Butter, but it also has a subtle numbing agent that helps you really take it all in without being troubled by discomfort. It's not a lot, just enough to take the edge off.
~ Final Thoughts ~
Really, lube is a pretty intimate and personal thing. The best way to find out which lube is best for you is to experience them. Try a few lubes until you find one you like and then start to experiment with switching it up from time to time. Try choosing lubes for specific occasions and see what kind of difference it makes and whether or not you like that difference.
Like all things sex-related, experimentation is the most rewarding and effective way of figuring out what makes you tick. Now, all that's left to do is to get out there and get slippery!