Stuck in Quarantine Away from Your Man? 7 Tips for Gay Phone Sex Tonight
So I’ve got a bit of a weird background for this blog. Back in university, I was broke. Like broke-broke, I couldn’t afford ramen, I lived on campus in an expensive suite that ate all the money I made at my part-time job. University was a cash grab for me, so I decided to grab some cashback.
I did those psychology studies that pay students like $5 or some bigger projects along the same lines. Obviously, that didn’t get me very far but I at least had bread to eat every week. After my boyfriend left me, I was really open to whatever, I was depressed, didn’t give a fuck, and figured, what the fuck, can I sell myself somehow?
Enter dating apps. It actually happened randomly one night. A weird profile reached out, but he sent pics and was legit, just an older shy gay man who wanted to talk. Honestly, that was it, he just talked to me, never wanted to meet up, he didn’t want to get caught by friends or someone (his wife probably), but regardless, I respected that wish.
Eventually, I told him I was too broke to grab a coffee and he was pretty shocked. He stumbled around the conversation for a while, but eventually, he said, “I want to pay you.” Totally taken aback, I’m pretty sure he got the text version of an earful about how I wasn’t on Grindr to sell my body and maybe some profanity, okay lots.
Turns out, he was legit, he wanted to pay just to talk to me. It didn’t start out sexual, but if it ever got sexual he always paid double. Honestly, it was a great fluff to my minimal income and let me enjoy some weekends out with friends. And… It was actually pretty hot some days.
If you’re stuck in quarantine away from your man, I’ve got some tips to keep the spark going all in the theme of phone sex.
1. The power of voice
Sexting is pretty hot, sure it’s arousing enough and can be a huge turn on, but the inherent delay can really put a damper on how far things can really progress. Over the phone, however, you’ll feel like the dirty talk is much more natural. The conversation can escalate or ebb and flow as you two desire.
Simply hearing his voice and his breath con instantly give you the connection you might be missing with sexts. The conversation flows smoother and much more quickly with the immediate interaction. There’s no filter over the phone, no going back on what was said, you have to go with the flow.
Initiating phone sex, well, really, any sex, can be awkward AF if you’re new to it. But just like everything else in the bedroom, there are some do’s and don’ts according to this gay university drop-out.
2. Build up to it over text
Don’t just jump him with the ‘Hey, I want phone sex right now’. I can’t say that that is likely to be very effective and what if you’re on speaker, while he’s driving... With his boss. Take me far away from that scenario, jeez. Honestly, it’s pretty easy to rile a guy up, it’s not rocket science.
Don’t worry about trying to plan weeks and months here, just like table it for his drive home, or maybe when he’s done at the gym and wants to turn the locker room into a solo steam room. Either way, a couple of pics and choice emojis go a long way and make for a good precursor to phone sex. Plus it gets horny as fuck and shifting your thoughts to each other and your favorite body parts.
Once you’re warmed up hit him with a classic like ‘I want to hear you cum, Daddy, call me’ or simply ‘I want to hear you’, either get the point across.
3. Give in to the weird vibes
Just like sex any other way, phone sex gets weird sometimes and one of you is bound to giggle. There’s plenty of time to readjust or take things in a different direction. You aren’t experts at this, so it’s not like you’ll be on the exact same level at the exact same time. Especially with no physical connection at the moment.
Ok, I have to be honest here, you’re not going to be in it 100% of the time and that goes for the both of you. Some of it’s going to feel awkward as fuck, and that’s totally fine. Laugh it off, but don’t make that awkward too. You’re definitely going to feel awkward and sexy in tandem until you get used to it.
It’s a great way to intimately pass the time if you’re separated during the quarantine. So getting used to the weird vibes means you two can get intimate together anywhere in the world that you have a phone.
4. Don’t try too hard
You’re not a pornstar, at least I don’t think you are, no offense. So, why try to be one on the phone. You can try to center the dirty talk around mutual fantasy and character sex. With the former being a lot easier to accomplish. A mutual fantasy basically acknowledges that fact that you’re two dudes far away from each other, but horny as hell. Whether you both masturbate or not I’ll leave to you, but this type of phone sex can be hot for any couple.
Character sex is a lot more difficult for you both because at least one of you has to pretend for a long period of time potentially. Keeping up the charade and desired narrative can be hot, but it’s also difficult to do. It’s basically the highest level of phone sex and since you’re likely not a ‘specialist’ this wouldn’t be my go to. Stick to the fantasy you’re used to like ‘do you have your hand on your big cock for me?’ Simple turn-ons are often the best.
This could just be a temporary solution while you two are separated but it could be something intimate you two continue if you travel for work, etc. So, take it seriously enough to get your man off, just don’t try to be someone you’re not.
5. Create a fantasy for you both
Just like a real life pounding, phone sex comes in waves. There needs to be build-up and anticipation and teasing, anything to increase the desire. Don’t just call and say something like ‘I’m fucking you in my mind right now’ and then hang up. Not only would that be weird as fuck, you might expect a police report soon after.
Keep it simple, stick to the things you two would normally do in bed, but just lead it with ‘If I was there, I’d be…’ simple enough and it’s easy to build from. That’s basically the most important thing with phone sex, you’re basically leading each other through a blind dance. Explore your sexual desires with him and take turns narrating so that you each get to voice your desires.
It’s easiest just to stick with what you know. He loves pits? Great, tell him you just went to the gym and he needs to lick you clean, etc. This stuff is honestly so easy once you get started. Plus, bring the dirty talk into the bedroom after the quarantine is over. You’re sure to have a ton of pent up sexual energy and now you’ve got new skills to go with it.
6. Explore some of your wild side
This is great for those sexy areas you two haven’t explored. Maybe you haven’t introduced toys into the bedroom, you can imagine it together over the phone and it might be a fantasy you play out post-quarantine - seriously it’s going to be a trigger phrase for our generation.
For whatever reason, you two might not have explored some of your fantasies or kinks and separated with hours of time and WiFi calling capabilities, the possibilities are endless. Just try to stick to your voice and your interests to keep it feeling real. You don’t have to worry about being shy or how much this fantasy may cost, you’re simply talking through it… sexually.
Obviously, if he’s not into fisting, he’s not going to be turned on over the phone by talking about ti. Stick to his desires too so that you both stay steamily invested. Phone sex is great for pushing certain boundaries, usually the grey areas, not the hard lines. So respect anything he’s already pushed off the table while teasing him over the phone.
Consent still matters with phone sex, and being hung up on during phone sex is stupidly awkward, I don’t recommend it. Just stick to the things that you’re both used to and you’re sure to be successful.
7. It’s time for FaceTime
Now that you’ve mastered the dirty talk, why not take it to the next step with video. Smartphone cameras are pretty great nowadays. You can see his throbbing cock and he can see yours as you both describe your sexual desires.
It can be hot as hell watching your own private cam boy, you can ask him to get into positions for you as you describe what you’ll do to him. Have him play with a toy pretending it’s you, then take turns with the roles. Honestly, this might be a little vers-first oriented, but hey, we rule!
Everything I outlined above goes double for video chat. You both don’t even need an iPhone with all the free apps out there providing services. Do your due diligence though and read into the company before displaying your nether-regions over the internet.
Ultimately, phone sex is a great way to let out some inner fantasies. Explore your wild side, within your partner’s limits, seriously.
You don’t even have to be physically able to do what you’re talking about. You just have to be able to describe scenarios well, like fucking his hole raw while you deepthroat his cock. I’m seriously not that flexible, but maybe someone is.
Sure as Carol killed her husband, I hope you cool cats and kittens enjoy busting a nut to your partner’s voice.
