A huge part of being a bottom, sadly, is worrying about what sort of condition your downstairs mix-up is in. There's nothing worse than a visit from the mud monster when things are getting hot and heavy, and keeping that monster at bay takes a bit of effort.
If you're a bottom like me who believes that cleanliness is next to god-tier bottomliness, you're definitely going to want to check out this list of our ten best anal douches and enemas!
I'm not really into the syringe-style douches myself, so maybe this particular douche deserves a more prominent place on the list. Full disclosure, I have never used this model but people I know a few people who prefer the syringe style and swear by it. I just figured there should be some representation for those who prefer syringes to bulbs, bags, or shower models.
People I have talked to tell me the like that the syringe chamber is a bit larger than most syringe douches so it packs a little extra punch compared to others. If you are into the syringe thing, I'm told by very reliable sources that this is the best of them!
Now I'm back on familiar ground, bulb douches! For general, everyday use, I find bulbs to be the most versatile, portable, and discreet method of keeping my plumbing clean. They're compact, affordable, and the good ones get the job done pretty damn well. Plus, I've pretty much tried them all. I'm a bit of a clean freak like that.
This particular bulb-style douche isn't the greatest out there, but it is far from the worst. It's a compact design with a shorter, narrower nozzle than I usually prefer. You get everything you need for the price, though.
It's discreet, portable, and features a leak-proof design you don't usually get in this price range. All around, it's a solid bulb for when you need on-the-spot touch-ups away from home. Serviceable, functional, and economical- it's one of the best in its price range.
This is a nice, mid-range priced bulb that would be a perfect step-up from the previous entry for people willing to spend a little more to get a little more. I like that it comes with two different styles of nozzle but what I like even more is the superb backflow protection this design offers.
The backflow-free design makes it perfect for guerilla cleanup away from home. If you've ever found yourself trying to discreetly flush your dumper in the bathroom of a gas station or club, you know how valuable that can be!
My personal gripe with this anal douche is that the bulb could be a little bigger, but that could just be me. It definitely gets the job done either way!
O.K., this is a little bit out of the box for the list. This is something between a kinky butt plug and an anal douche, but there are reasons I am including it in this list. I'm gonna go ahead and say "Fuck it!" and roll with it anyway.
This is a kit that comes with a flushing bulb and a set of nozzles ranging from your basic anal douche nozzle to a full-blown hollow butt plug. While enemas as a sexual activity isn't really my thing, I'm certainly not against it! I occasionally hook up with guys who are into it and it's good to be a gracious host, after all.
Aside from that, I really like the way the long, slightly-curved nozzle works. It's a bit longer than you usually get with other models so it can get a little deeper. Finally, total fucking butt slut that I am, I actually like to use the narrow, beaded nozzle for home cleanup because it just feels good. It's a nice way to loosen up and get clean ahead of a prostate massage session.
This douche might look like more of a novelty than a functional tool for keeping clean, but things aren't always as they appear. Oh, did I mention it even has a shower attachment?
This is another model that I don't have personal experience with, but a friend of mine insisted that I put this one on the list because he's bonkers for it. While I have never used it personally, the things my friend said about it ring true just from researching it.
I was, initially, considering this guy for purchase at one point because of the all-silicone design, but managed to exercise a bit of self-control for once in my life. Ultimately, it came down to the smaller bulb size for me.
Oddly, that's exactly what my friend likes about it. Apparently, not everyone likes to feel like they have a pressure washer cleaning them from the inside out. Who knew?! If that sounds like you, you might want to check this little guy out!
This is a solid anal douche for more shallow cleaning. The nozzle is a bit short for my taste but the double-holes at each exit point make this a super-powerful tool for cleaning easier-to-reach areas. Personally, I like something that can really get up there, so I don't really use this guy too often, but it is perfect for quick "just in case" touch-ups.
It has a pretty fairly burly 14 oz. bulb for a decent amount of kick, an innovative nozzle, and it gets the job done. An all-around solid anal douche that fits perfectly in the middle of this list.
This is one of the better bulb douches out there and the only reason it is in the 4 spot instead of 2 is because of a personal qualm I have that many others don't seem to share. Namely, the holes are little too big on the nozzle and some pressure is lost because of it. If extreme pressure isn't a concern for you, disregard my griping, by all means!
Other than that one thing, this is a nearly perfect anal douche. One-way flow, reasonably-sized bulb, with a nicely curved, stowaway nozzle for easy portability. If you're not a pressure-whore like me, it might be perfect for you!
You may have noticed by now that I am a fan of big bulbs. Well, this douche is all about the big bulb! If I'm feeling extra gunky and I need a douche on the go, this is my go-to. I have a little "first-aid" kit I bring along with me in a portable satchel that includes 2 different bulb-douches, this being one of them, and other things I might need for a night of prowling.
In addition to the big bulb, it has an excellent curve to the nozzle that helps you really get it all over and the holes are well-placed for full coverage. This is a solid heavy hitter with an honored place in my collection.
This little guy is the other anal douche I bring along in my kit. The main thing I like about it is that the neck is long enough and curved enough to get deep and, bonus, it tickles my prostate. Usually, if I am douching on the run, it is because I am about to get lucky. That little extra tingle behind my dingle I get when I use this baby really gets me riled up for what comes next.
Aside from that, the hole placement and size on the nozzle make this a thorough douche that hits all the spots and hits them fast. The bulb is a bit smaller than I usually like but it still packs a gnarly enough punch to get the job done and then some. This is easily my favorite bulb-style anal douche.
Remember how I said I was the kinda guy who likes to feel like he's been pressure-washed from the inside out? Well, yeah, this is how you get that feeling. If you want to be absolutely, positively sure your basement is clean AF, this douche won't leave you guessin'!
It's made entirely from silicone, has a whopping 8-inch (20.32-cm) nozzle that reaches everywhere, and I am yet to find a fixture it can't be fitted to. It's not portable or discreet but your funhouse will never be as sparkling clean as it is after this bastard is through with you!
Resources For New Anal Douchers
If you're completely new to anal douches and would like a little help familiarizing yourself with all of the, ahem, ins and outs of anal hygiene, these guides are an excellent place to start:
- Gay Anal Douche Tips for Bottoms- A general guide covering all aspects of anal douching from safety to maintenance and everything in between.
- 10 Tips For Safe Anal Douching- A more safety-focused guide to anal douching best practices.
Helpful Anal Douching Accessories
Anal douching is a fairly self-contained practice without a lot of room to accessorize. Basically, you just need a really god lube to help ease insertion and you're good to go.
Personally, I prefer to use a water-based lube because it washes away easily and you don't need so much glide once the douche is placed. Water-based lubes will wash away easily as part of the douching and cleanup process and won't leave residue behind. I think that's important because, as I said earlier, if you're emergency douching, things are about to get hot. You don't want to start out sticky, just end up that way by the end!
If you have a water-based lube you like, rock it! If you're looking for a suggestion, I prefer this one because it is easy on the wallet, washes away quick and clean, and it gets the job done!