You don't need another person to have sex. It's as simple as that.
Sexuality is a state we can live in, not just a series of activities we do with someone else. Yes, having sex with someone can be lots of fun. But, for many people, finding a sexual partner can be so much of a hassle, especially in these awful pandemic times. So, we need to start seeing sex as something we can do independently.
We're not talking about just beating your meat in your bedroom and feeling lonely. You can do so many things to experience and explore your sexuality that doesn't involve a partner (or multiple partners). If we start seeing sex like that, we'll begin to separate it from the idealized concept of it being only for fit and able bodies.
In this post, we'll talk about 10 fun and sexy things you can do when you're alone:
1) Put some sexy clothes on
Do you know how so many gay men are into sexy wear? Every year on Pride month, you see hundreds, if not thousands, of men wearing kinky stuff that goes from jockstraps and thongs to leather harnesses and rubber suits, not to mention on Halloween parties. Wearing some kinky/sexy garments seems like something you do to be looked at by others (and possibly get a hookup for it). Still, it can be something intimate and private too.
It doesn't matter if it's leather or rubber; if it's fishnet stockings, military uniforms, superhero costumes, or whatever makes you feel like the sexiest fatherfucker out there, you can do it in the privacy of your home and enjoy it oh so very much.
For me (and for many men), it's business suits. Whenever I wear a business suit, I feel almost immediately aroused and can't wait for my man to take it off of me.
So, wear that sexy outfit for yourself. Watch yourself in the mirror, feel the fabric on your skin, and let yourself be turned on by it. If it's sexy underwear that you like, wear it underneath your clothes while doing mundane things like grocery shopping or going to the office; no one has to know.
2) Expand your boundaries through porn
Watching porn is an activity that can be fun and also therapeutic. Through it, we can learn to understand our sexuality belongs to us and not anybody else. Watching porn can help us gain sexual autonomy. It can help increase self-esteem as we can find various bodies being sexualized. And it also gives a sexual life to single people.
Furthermore, the vast world of porn can help us learn our genuine and authentic sexual interests and orientation. In many cases, by watching porn, queer guys get to know they're attracted to other guys, as it is a safe place to learn and see all that turns you on.
By that, I mean ANYTHING that can turn you on. Porn helps normalize broadly diverse sex acts, such as BDSM, fisting, and group sex. Any other kinky stuff you can imagine, you can find in porn and learn if you're into it without having to try it first hand.
3) Give a show for yourself
You can't perform many kinky things on your own, as they need at least two people involved, but nothing stops you from some solo role-play. If you enjoy dressing up and playing a part before or during sex, you can still do it when you're alone.
Watch yourself in the mirror or even set up a camera and record everything as you enjoy your favorite role-playing fantasies in front of yourself. Let out the stripper you have inside and dance to Magic Mike's soundtrack as you get naked for your eyes only.
Wear that sexy outfit and props. Wear your puppy or pony gear, wear that slutty costume, wear your jockstrap and buttplug as you give the hottest performance... for yourself!
4) Get naked in nature
As Mamma Ru has said, "You're born naked, and the rest is drag."
Humanity has known nakedness more than it has known clothes. We were naked under the stars for thousands of years, having sex in the moonlight and under the rain. So there's something primal and extremely sexual to be naked in nature, and that's why you should try it.
Getting naked in nature can help you remember your place in the natural world. Being there, in the nude, will make you feel the awesomeness of your ancient sexuality. It's overwhelming how you can feel part of the nature surrounding you and free like the birds and plants.
Go camping on your own, or enjoy a secluded beach where you can be naked on your own. Skinnydip in a river or in the sea, let the wind caress your whole skin and let the sun touch your entire body like never before. Just remember to bring sunscreen and bug spray.
5) Come out to yourself
Coming out to somebody for the first time is indeed scary. But coming out to yourself is something else; yes, kind of scary, but also very erotic. That moment we were minding our own business, and our mind went like, "Yes, I want to touch another man's cock" is something we need to cherish and remember forever; it's the moment our whole lives changed.
It's a moment of acceptance, of realization. Still, it's also a moment of desire and thirstiness like we've never embraced before. If you don't remember the exact time you just knew you were into guys, then choose a moment to meditate and find the thing that made you realize you were craving real man meat for the first time. Then go to the nearest mirror and tell yourself: Yes, I like dudes.
6) Take a walk on the beach
Okay, this one takes some of what made some of the last ideas so appealing. Walking on the beach can be kind of erotic and kind of reflective too.
Walking on the beach alone allows you to think and go into your head to sort things out... while you're enjoying the view of half-naked surfers and, of course, the marvels of the sea.
You can take it even further by going to a nude beach. That way, you can enjoy being naked in nature, feel the sea breeze on your whole body, while you enjoy the view of other naked guys having fun by the sea.
7) Let your imagination run wild
When you're fantasizing, letting your imagination unwind, no one can stop you or censor you. Your mind is the safest place to let your wildest fantasies come to life, as some of them might not be as safe or free to take to reality.
Many people feel like they have the right to come and tell you you're not allowed to think about something or to fantasize about something wild or kinky. But, in reality, they cannot control what you desire.
As long as you're not hurting anybody, you have nothing to worry about. You're free to let your imagination run wild as it pictures your favorite fantasies inside your head.
8) Write a sex journal
"Dear diary. Today, my gym crush fucked my brains out."
You know how keeping a journal is supposed to be private where you write for yourself. Now, imagine holding a journal where you record your best sexual experiences, or maybe also your worst sexual encounters, or perhaps a bucket list of sexy fantasies you want to make true.
A journal can be a safe place to express your sexuality for yourself. Somewhere you can be as kinky and dirty as you want to be, with no one to judge you or stop you from exploring your own sexuality. And maybe, one day, you'll feel comfortable enough to share it with the world through the internet as a blog or a Twitter account. You can connect with thousands of men who like the same things you do if you do it.
9) Improve your anal game
It's not easy being a bottom, especially for those new to that. When you're with someone, you feel the pressure to be a good partner: you worry about being clean, about having an accident, about it hurting, about relaxing, about him enjoying it, all. At the same time, you try to enjoy it yourself.
When you're alone, you can take your time to practice, practice, practice until you're riding it like a cowboy. Without the pressure of being with someone present, you can actually get to know your own body, what feels right or wrong, and basically learn to enjoy a good fuck.
Our advice is you get yourself a good dildo. Don't go for a rigid, veiny, ultra-realistic cock replica you find in sex shops. Get a soft, silicone-made, or UR3 material you can enjoy while experimenting with your own body. Practice your breathing and speed; practice, practice, practice.
10) Enjoy your own body
Last but not least, it is probably the first thing you thought when you started reading: having a fantastic jack-off session.
Masturbating is a way to get to know ourselves better, but we need to do it right. Masturbation should not be a thing we see as what lonely guys do on a Saturday night when they're bored, sad, and alone. It is an experience in which we push, please, explore, and play with ourselves.
Take your time to enjoy it properly. If you schedule some time of the day to go to the gym, play video games, meditate, or do yoga, you can schedule some "me time" and not just jerk off in five minutes right before sleep.
Try different things to discover what feels better. Use different kinds of lube, try other techniques and positions, and do it in other places, not just your shower, bed, or desktop. Make masturbation an activity in which you enjoy your own body.
Of course, you can combine this activity with any other previous ideas. Wear something sexy to masturbate in front of the mirror. Keep a journal where you write your best jerk-off sessions. Masturbate while naked in the forest. Close your eyes and use your imagination, or beat that meat while watching a porn video about your recently discovered kink.
If you combine these 10 ideas, the limits do not exist for you to enjoy your sex life while being on your own.