When dealing with your digestive system's health issues, anal play may seem like a no-go, but it doesn't have to be like that. You just need to have some considerations, know your body, communicate, and be careful; here, we'll give you some tips to enjoy sex while dealing with IBS and other issues.
Anyone with an asshole can enjoy anal play, which really means anyone. However, there are some considerations to consider as everyone's body is different. Starting with the fact that some may be more sensitive, and others may need a tougher stimulation for pleasure, to the fact that many people deal with health issues that affect their stomach, intestines, rectum, or anus.
Keeping in mind that an issue like Irritable Bowel Syndrome affects 25-45 million people in the United States only, the number of people who may consider anal play a no-go because of their unpredictable and delicate digestive system is unimaginable. But if you're here is because that's not your case; anal play is possible and very enjoyable if you give yourself the chance to take the proper care and consideration.
Pleasure and intimacy derivated from anal play activities are worth the effort of going through certain things to make it safe and healthy for anyone dealing with IBS or other stomach health issues. So here's a list of seven tips you can follow to go anal sex town as you belong there.
1) Talk About It With Your Partner
I'll never get tired of saying this: communication is the most vital element when it comes to sex and couple. If you're dealing with a health issue in your digestive tract and want to have anal sex, but you think your integrity may get in your way to pleasure, the first person who has to know this is your partner.
Whether it is your long-term boyfriend, your husband, your newest fling, or your one-night stand, you need to be open and tell him about what you're dealing with and what you want to do. Sex is (regularly) something that involves two people, so he needs to know what's happening to be involved in the considerations and proper care for your body.
Yeah, talking about your IBS with someone you just met and whose dick you want to ride may be awkward, but he needs to know he has to be very careful and do (or avoid doing) certain things so there are no unpleasant situations, he doesn't hurt you, or something worse happens.
If you both are open, verbal, and honest, you should be safe to enjoy anal play.
2) Understand Your Symptoms
You need to clearly understand your symptoms to know where you are with the health issue you're dealing with and know if it's safer to have anal sex in a given moment. Whether it is colitis, Crohn's, hemorrhoids, or IBS, symptoms can ebb and flow, so there can be times when they are more manageable, and others are flare-ups. Understanding when these symptoms decrease or what detonates them may be a great way to know when could be an excellent time for anal play and when it is definitely a no-go.
You know how a proper cleaning is the best choice for a hot (and care-free) anal play session, but previous anal douching can sometimes irritate the inner tissue of your bumhole. If you're prone to irritation or worse, you're already irritated, intense preparation and cleaning for anal sex can make it even more painful.
If you decide to forego anal douching with an irritated colon, you may produce tears and damage the tissue, making your ass prone to skin infections. Things can get even more complicated for immunocompromised people (mainly persons who have Crohn's/ulcerative colitis, HIV/AIDs) as an infection can mean a significant risk for them.
All of this brings a more significant role to condoms, as they are your best choice for preventing STIs and skin infections. When you have an irritable colon, tears can occur by penetration, but you can also get abrasions and cuts from bites, fingernails, and even facial hair, so consider always using condoms, dental dams, and finger cots.
3) Listen to Your Body
Whenever you're going to engage in anal play, whether you're dealing with health issues or not, your body should be the one to tell you if it's okay to go on or not. If your body had a say, it might ask you to stop because it's hurting. When it comes to anal sex, many gay men tend to tough it up because we've wrongly taught that it's supposed to hurt; spoiler alert, it's not.
Many of us go through intentional pain for many reasons, from working out to kinky impact play, but when something hurts, it's the way your body tells you something's wrong, especially if the pain is overwhelming. Pain during sexual penetration should not be ignored; it's not supposed to hurt. If you're dealing with IBS or another issue in your colon, be aware of your body and its sensations, and seek medical health immediately, especially if something extraordinary, for example:
- Significant pain.
4) Talk to Your Doctor About Your Concerns
If you've been dealing with this issue for a while now, you probably have your primary physician to whom you trust your life. Doctors have a clinical eye for everything, including sex (believe me, my best friend is a physician, and she always perceives everything in a medical sense). Consider talking to them about your concerns relating to your sex life, and they may give you the best advice according to your condition and particular case. Please don't be shy; you're probably not their only patient dealing with that, and they see cases like yours (or worse) every day.
If you don't feel comfortable talking to your doctor about your sex life, the best you can do is get another doctor who makes you feel at ease. If you sense your doctor is homophobic, or they're related to your family, or you simply feel like they're going to judge you or mistreat you in any way if you start asking if you can put a penis up your butt given your condition, then seek for another physician.
Yes, getting a different doctor to treat you may not be possible for everyone, but it doesn't mean you should keep the doubts to yourself. Get yourself some books and get informed; it's called bibliotherapy, and you can learn a lot while you get some peace of mind and learn how to enjoy anal sex more. We can recommend "The Ins and Outs of Gay Sex" by Stephen Goldstone or "The Ultimate Guide to Anal Sex for Women" by Tristan Taormino (yes, not all of us are women, but it has great info about anal health).
5) Try At-Home Treatments
If you're informed and really understand the health issue you deal with, you know about some remedies for when things are not so well; be prepared with those remedies before or after sex.
For example, if you deal with hemorrhoids, you can have a cream such as Preparation H over the counter to use after sex to help manage the inflammation. You should always be careful when having anal sex if you deal with hemorrhoids, but having something to help with them afterward is a great idea.
Another thing you can do is prepare a warm bath for after you have sex. Soak in water to relax your body and help soothe the tissues to decrease irritation and inflammation.
If you're prone to stomach upset, always be prepared for penetration with the best lube and do all the exercises to relax your bumhole. Never let a top penetrate you if you don't feel ready, or be sure you'll get your stomach irritated. And always use lots and lots of lube.
6) Be Prepared
When talking about anal sex, preparation implies both the physical sense and mental. Consider that pain may make it unbearable, and you'll need to stop for good and keep in mind that accidents may happen. If you're worried about making a mess, have some dark towels handy, and some baby wipes.
It's essential to consider some clean-up etiquette, and this goes for all tops out there. If you know your partner is dealing with some health issues in his stomach, but he still wants to have your dick inside, that's very valuable and brave; have the consideration of not making things more complicated for them!
- If you see poop, don't freak out. You signed up for that risk.
- Please don't make a scene; they don't even need to know it happened.
- Quickly wipe any mess that you see.
- Don't call attention to it.
This will keep your partner away from embarrassment, and fun doesn't have to end. Keep in mind that it may be too big of a mess for it not to be a showstopper, and in that case, it's best if you definitely stop; still, don't make a fuzz about it!
7) Consider Non-Penetrative Sex
The gay community is obsessed with penetration as if it was the only way for a couple to have sex, but we need to encourage ourselves to focus not only on that when we get intimate. Some issues may make it too complicated for you to have anal sex, but it doesn't mean you can't have sex at all. You can do hundreds of things with a man in bed, which doesn't imply putting a dick inside of an ass.
You can find other ways to make sex gratifying for you instead of stressing out about what you can't do and trying to force them. You can, for example:
- Touch each other bodies.
- Body contact.
- Give each other a massage.
- Oral sex.
- Nipple play.
- Fantasy play
- Dirty talk.
The list can go on and on with all forms of closeness you can perform.
Anal Play Doesn't Have to Be a No-Go
Anal play can still be part of your sexual options even if you deal with IBS or similar issues. Having certain considerations doesn't make it too different from other people who also enjoy anal sex. You just need to have open communication with your partner, know your body and how it feels, and have a solid relationship with your medical care provider; the rest is having a good time.