So, what exactly is the foreplay?
In a nutshell, it is everything you do with your partner before you have sex.
For some people who get turned on easily, foreplay can be a chore, and they either rush it or skip it entirely. Of course, this doesn’t mean the sex will be bad, quite the opposite. Sometimes spontaneous sex is the best, but that is not always the case.
As a bottom, I have had a fair share of spontaneous sexual experiences, and some of them were so bad that even today I wish I have never had them.
I’ve learned that those experiences could have been great - hadn’t we skipped the foreplay.
Foreplay is especially important when it comes to bottoming. If you want to make anal sex as enjoyable as possible, your anus needs to relax.
If you are clenched up, your partner might have a hard time penetrating you. And this is where foreplay comes in if you get into the right mood, your partner’s penis will just slide into you no matter the size.
Mature couples agree that foreplay is a relationship saver. Having plain sex for a couple for years can get boring, and foreplay helps to spice things up.
Speaking of spices, foreplay is like an appetizer- it can increase your appetite and get you ready for the main course- sex.
Having sex without foreplay can be great but having sex after you have had foreplay (good one, prolonged session) will blow your mind!
So here are...
1. Set the mood up - atmosphere is important
If you think the atmosphere you have sex in is not important, well you are wrong.
Think of it this way - would you rather have sex on a satin bed-sheet with scattered rose petals all over it or on an old bed-sheet sprinkled with crumbs from your partners last night’s dinner?
So, before you even get into the foreplay, tidy up your room, change your bedsheets and light some scented candles up.
This candle even melts into a massage oil, so nothing goes to waste! Also try having sex in different rooms of your apartment, or even get a hotel room and make sure to bring the Kama Sutra Getaway Kit with you!
2. Roleplaying - take it slow, and act out your fantasies
There was a time in the porn industry where every porn movie would include 30 minutes of acting and foreplay and 5 minutes of sex. Nowadays, you get 5 minutes of foreplay and 30+ minutes of sex.
This is the reason the many of gay men avoid foreplay thinking sex in real life should be the same as in porn movies. But that could not be farther from the truth. Next time take it slow and try acting out your wildest fantasy with your partner.
You could be a plumber, a lion tamer or whatever turns you and your partner on.
It doesn’t even have to lead up to sex, try it out a couple of times and see what roles suit you the most.
3. Massage - focus on the erogenous zones, avoiding the anus and penis
You do not have to be a trained masseuse to give a good massage. Start by blindfolding your partner and lay him on his back.
Oil up your hands and massage him from head to toe, skipping or just barely touching his penis or anus - save that for later.
When giving your partner a massage focus on the erogenous zones - inner things, earlobes, nipples, sides of the chest, etc. Get to learn how much pressure your partner enjoys and how he feels when you touch him in different areas of his body.
After you finish, treat your partner with a light penis massage, use your fingers and get creative while gently caressing his balls with your other hand.
To make a genital massage more intense, you could use a glove massager
4. The p-spot - anal massage can lead to anal orgasm...
Speaking of massages, sworn tops who don’t let anything near their hole are missing out a lot!
A good anal massage or light fingering can arouse you in the ways you didn’t even know were possible.
And the feeling that one can get the feeling that one can get from a prostate massage cannot be described with mere words!
The prostate is a gland that pushes out the semen and, well, makes the orgasm happen. It is sensitive to the touch and vibrations, and you can only reach it through the anus.
If you are having a hard time reaching it with your fingers, try using a prostate massager. Prostate massager come in all shapes and sizes, and beginners should start with the smaller ones and work their way up.
I really like LELO Loki- It is easy to insert, and it is waterproof, so you can use it in the shower too!
5. Introduce new toys - take sexual exploration to new highs
Massagers aren’t the only toys you could use to stimulate your partner and yourself.
Introducing new toys into your sex life can help you discover your wild side and make your sex life flourish. I’m not talking about anal beads and anal plugs; those should be the bread and butter of any gay sex pantry.
I’m talking about toys you have never thought of trying out. Like nipple clamps. More sensitive men get so scared of their nipples getting clamped they just give up on it.
Nipples are very sensitive and nipple play doesn’t have to hurt (unless you’re into that).
If you are a beginner, be sure to use adjustable nipple clamps that allow you to experience the rush of endorphins without accidentally hurting yourself or your partner’s nipple.
There is no reason for not trying some light BDSM and unleashing your kinky side.
6. Have some fun without toys - use your imagination to arouse your partner
If you are not into toys that doesn’t mean you can’t experiment. Adding some simple things like hot and cold water could do wonders. Fill one mug with hot (be careful not to burn yourself) and another one with cold water.
Use the water to heat up or cool down your tongue and experiment. You can start by sucking your partner’s nipples with your chilly lips and see where that takes you. It will surely make his nipples stiff and give you a bit more to nibble on.
If the water seems like a hassle, just use ice cubes instead. Pop one in your mouth and go down on your partner!
Another way to get turned on without using sex toys is to watch some porn with your partner. Watching porn can show you some new techniques and sex positions.
One of that, it will also arouse you and your partner. Just make sure that your partner and you are both comfortable watching porn without getting jealous.
7. Oral foreplay - build anticipation with your mouth
Going down on your partner does not have to end up with ejaculation.
Experiment with your lips, fingers, tongue, and teeth. Use different textures and pressure but remember it’s just a foreplay. You don’t want a mouthful of semen just yet.
We’ve already mentioned using the ice cubes, but there are other ways you can arouse your partner’s penis and make it interesting for you too.
Put some whipped cream on your partner’s penis and make sure to take a lot of time and enjoy your meal. The more time you spend licking every bit of the whipped cream, the more turned on your partner will get.
If you are on a diet or just want to avoid all the mess whipped cream can make, you can test out some different flavored lubes
Rimming is a good example of oral foreplay. The anal area contains numerous nerve endings and stimulating them can create arousing sensations. Try experimenting with your tongue, mouth, and even fingers.
Use different temperatures, lubes and pressure and see how stimulated your partner will get.
Riming is also important if you are into fisting as it will help the bottom relax easier and make the fisting more pleasurable.
The most underrated foreplay technique has got to be the kissing. Next time instead of trying to devour each other out try being gentle and romantic.
Kiss your partner’s neck softly and slowly work your way down. Start easy and gently nibble his earlobes and work your way down by kissing his neck, nipples, etc.
Learn to listen to your partner. Most of us have secret sexual desires and talking about them is not always comfortable.
Arousing your partner may lead him to open up about his secret fetishes, and you could learn how to fulfill his fantasies and vice versa.
Regardless of what makes your hole loose, or your penis hard, safe sex should always be a top priority. The whole point of foreplay is to get you and your partner aroused and give your sex life a boost.
Experiment with new things and soon enough you will see just how enjoyable the foreplay can get.
Communicate with your partner during the foreplay and make sure you are not hurting him. If you do something that your partner does not enjoy, do not worry. All you need to do is keep exploring your partner’s body and with time you will master the art of foreplay.