Being safe both online and offline is something that is becoming a mainstream topic. When it comes to Grindr it can be a grey area. This is because it is becoming a place for gay and bisexual men to meet each other and fuck.
Often as strangers. Today we are going to look at what you can do to make sure that you have the most fun while also making sure you are around to make sure you are around to tell the tale.
Let us know in the comments of your adventures!
One of the attractions of Grindr is the anonymity of it. If you want to, it’s pretty easy to control who knows who you are. Let’s face it, how many torsos do we see on Grindr?
There are a lot of torsos to see on Grindr.
While this is a huge appeal it does pose some potential risks and we are going to look at some steps you can take to keep yourself safe for either a hook up or a date.
10. Know what you want.
Before you even go onto Grindr (or any gay app), know what you are looking for and where your boundaries are. Are you looking for a date? Or are you looking for NSA sex? What you are open to and what you are not comfortable with? To be upfront with you, I have had two forays into online dating/sex. The first time I was a virgin and I had no fucking clue what was going on.
The only thing I had going for me was that I knew what I was comfortable with and had no problem telling people to jog on if they tried to push something onto me that I was not comfortable with. The second time, I was a little wiser and open minded. I was more adventurous, but I found that my initial ability to know where my limits were while also being open to new experiences greatly enhanced my overall experience.
That has always been my takeaway point from being online and cannot recommend it enough.
9. Pics, Pics and more pics
Let’s face it, if you are a cute guy on the lookout for a hook up, you have more than one pic to show off.
The same logic applies to any hot dudes you are chatting up. If they have a stunning pic but they are not able to show more. Not only is it fishy (catfish kind of fishy), it is really hard to tell if you would be into someone just from the one pic. Obviously be prepared to return the favor. I have found it was best to do like for like.
Usually when I had asked for pics, I would get 5-6.
Depending on what I had received, I would respond like for like. It made it so much easier and took out the whole, oh fuck, what do I send him? Which we can all agree, can be a little stressful. Put the onus on him, make him work for it a little!
8. Get his digits
Grindr is great and all but it’s not the best for maintaining conversations and it can be irritating having other guys blowing up your phone while you are talking to your interest. So, get his number. It can also be a good indication if he’s a fuckboy or not. If he’s just a guy looking to have his ego stroked and nothing else, he won’t bother giving his number to you.
And if he’s just jerking you around and not jerking you off, he ain’t worth it. So, get his number to gauge if he’s serious or not.
7. Video call
As someone who is hard of hearing I would definitely prefer this method over just a normal voice call. But this also has a couple of other advantages. First and foremost, what you see is what you get. You can doctor pics and everything else but it’s pretty difficult to photoshop videos.
It will also give you a much better understanding of how they would act in person. It’s fairly easy to fake a personality on a texting platform, not so easy on a video one. It also means that when you meet him in person, you won’t have that initial adjustment period where you are trying to get used to how they express themselves.
6. Tell someone you trust where you are.
This is absolutely paramount. Anyone who does not do this is not only an idiot but also irresponsible. Have someone be aware of the address and who you’re going to meet. This applies to meeting someone for a drink or going to meet a guy at his house for a hook up.
I would advise on texting/calling before you arrive to let your friend know that you’ve arrived there. Agree between you both on a time for you to text. I wouldn’t recommend a specific time but rather a timeframe. Say in the next hour or so. If there is no response from you, your friend should text you. If there is no response from that, a call should be made.
Your safety is of paramount importance.
5. Use other apps
Grindr is great but it is the app that everyone knows so it can be difficult to find what you are looking for.
Once I was out of my hook up phase and I was looking for something a bit longer term, I found Grindr next to useless. It was as my current partner so eloquently puts it, a meat factory.
If you are looking for meat and lots of it, it’s great. If you have other tastes or want other experiences, look around. I personally quite liked Surge and found some great guys through that.
4. Talk about what you want before you meet
Be clear with your expectations and boundaries.
This harks back to the original point in this article. By knowing what you want and are comfortable with, it can make it so much easier for you to say yes or no to suggestions. If you are a top and another top asks you to bottom, and that is not something you want to do, say no. The same if it is the other way around for bottoms.
However, if you are looking for new experiences, be open about it. If for example you are normally a top and you are interested in trying out bottoming, you need to communicate that to the top you are talking with. They need to know that this is a learning experience for you and to treat it appropriately. You also need to respect the guy’s wishes as he may not want to deal with a virgin.
It’s always best to be upfront and honest with what you want. If it floats the guy’s boat, then great. If not, plenty of fish in the sea for you!
3. Leave if you want to
You are never obligated to stay if you arrive at a guy’s place or at a café for coffee. If you are not feeling it, you are not feeling it and there is no need to be ashamed. Of course, there’s no need to be rude.
There can be several reasons for wanting to leave, the most common being the pictures are not genuine and the guy has been misleading you. In that case, it’s absolutely fine to be blunt.
But if there’s just no spark and you’re not feeling it, just be polite about it. Excuse yourself and if you feel strongly about it, delete his number or block it.
2. Trust yourself
If you have a feeling about something, listen to it.
Humans have been around a while and our instincts are fairly strong when it comes to sex.
If he’s not being forth coming or if something is just not adding up with what he’s telling you. If there is something you can’t quite put your finger on but are still uneasy. Don’t meet him. There’s no point in leaving your warm bed or comfy couch to meet a stranger when there is a little voice in your head that is unsure.
As we said before, your safety is rather important!
1. Be selective with your information
When you talk to a guy for the first time online, don’t talk too much about the specifics of your private life. If you are more into dating rather than hook ups and you talk to a guy online, meet him in person. If he’s expressing an interest, cool! But just be aware that there is a possibility that he may be targeting you for a scam.
Be safety conscious and err on the side of caution and save all that for when you meet him. It’s much harder to save all that information if it’s given orally rather than over a text!
You will also be able to judge his sincerity when you meet him.