How to Give Handjobs Like a Pornstar
Handjobs have the bad rep of being considered the least desirable sex act out of the big three (anal, oral, and handjobs). That's mainly because a handjob is something you can do by yourself and, in all honestly, probably do it daily. Granted, some talented and ridiculously flexible guys can suck themselves off as well, and even a smaller group of guys can actually fuck themselves and even cum while doing it (giving new meaning to the "I don't need no man" phrase).
Still, those are not things most people can do, unlike a handjob, which, for most guys, is their point of entry to the world of sexual exploration.
Because of that, handjobs seem like the least exciting thing to do to your partner (or the least exciting thing your partner can think of you doing to them). Now, as someone who loves sucking cock and loves cum even more, you'd think I find it hard to disagree with that since my mouth waters at the sight of my partner's cock, and I can't wait to suck it.
However, a good handjob can be the difference between doing the same things with someone and exploring different ways to get your partner off and keep things interesting. It doesn't matter if you're not in a relationship; hooking up with random guys and doing the exact same things every time can also become tiring.
Handjobs can be a very erotic experience if you set the right mood and even bring you closer to your partner. Yes, having his cock in your mouth or ass is a fantastic way to bond and for them to show their trust. Especially because them putting their cock in your mouth puts them at risk of you biting it off (please never do that).
Still, there's some magic to be felt when looking at your partner's eyes, cock in hand, bringing him to orgasm with your own hands... it's getting me hard just thinking about it, which is kind of the point.
Handjobs can also be a great way to be sexual and intimate with your partner while doing more mundane things. If you have a gaymer on your hands, slowly jerking him off while he's playing a non-competitive game is an excellent way for you both to enjoy the experience.
Or, if you're more of the Netflix-and-chill kind of guys, and the movie plot is actually good and engaging, a handy can be less distracting but equally erotic, so you can both keep watching while enjoying each other.
So, if you want to go from the I-jerk-off-daily-so-I-know-what-I'm-doing guy to the I-understand-every- penis-is-different-and-there-are-more-than-one-way-to-jerk-someone-off expert, keep reading and surprise your partner (or your next conquest) with your new magic hands. Give him the cumtastic experience he deserves.
1. Preparation is key
As with everything in life, being prepared can be the difference between your partner taking your hand off and finishing the job himself and him exploding like the most glorious fountain of cum. There are two ways in which this works, getting everything you will need ready and at hand part and setting the right mood part. With sex, the emotional/mental aspect of the equation is just as important as the physical one.
First, get your basics and have them at hand: your lubes, toys, props, and even some porn if you guys are into that.
Then, get your partner naked but don't just go grab his cock out of the bat, kiss him gently, whisper to him how much he excites you, how much you like his body, and love his cock. Caress his chest, his arms, even gently caress his penis and balls, and then go down and do that to his legs.
READ: Gay Sex 101: Seven Essential Positions Every Guy Should Know
Make him feel special, worshipped, let him know you're there to bring him pleasure. Get him real hard even before you pay any close attention to his dick; get him trembling with excitement. Once he's completely hard (and even once you see the first droplet of precum), you're ready for the next phase.
Swiss Navy Flavored Lube
Now that he's primed and ready, you can proceed to the actual jerking off. For this, it's essential to understand that every penis is different. Not all guys use the same technique to masturbate, so this is one of those times when just because you know what you like doesn't mean you understand what he wants. You can use different positions, different stroking techniques, speeds and rhythms, types of lubrication, and (last but certainly not least) cum targeting. I'll further explain them all next, but you must keep all of this in mind and make some decisions based on the kind of handy you want to give to your partner.
2. The wetter, the better
Using lube to give a handjob can really enhance the experience. Still, deciding the type of lubrication you'll be using also depends on what you want. Suppose you're like me and are addicted to cum. In that case, you will want your partner's cum to stay as chemical-free as possible, so the natural cum taste stays untouched (unless you just want a facial and don't plan on tasting it at all).
This means using lubes might not be the right idea for you. However, using his natural precum and lots of spit is the way to go (even sucking his dick from time to time to keep it wet and distribute the saliva evenly). Or, if you prefer, you can use a flavored lubricant (one that tastes good for you, of course) and it could be a fun experiment to add to his natural cum flavor. Whether you want him to cum directly in your mouth, or you're planning on cleaning up the cum (wherever it may land), the "natural" method is the way to go.
Climax Bursts Water-Based Lube
Keep in mind that if you're choosing the "natural" route, you'll get more precum out of your guy by having him highly aroused as much as possible. So, keep the dirty talk going, and keep touching him in the places you know he loves. You'll be rewarded with a constant flow of precum.
If you don't care about cum taste, then using water or silicone-based lubes is the way to go! Lubes help by taking friction off the equation, avoiding irritation, and creating an excellent feeling for your partners dick. If you want to prevent reapplying lube all the time, or if you don't particularly enjoy the sticky feeling it leaves on your hand, then going with some baby oil or some Vaseline can work wonders. They won't need to be reapplied as often and don't get sticky, and since you're not using condoms, they're perfectly safe for this situation.
However, if the handjob is just your pre-anal foreplay, DO NOT use any kind of lubrication that could jeopardize the integrity of a condom (STICK TO WATER-BASED).
Whatever the case may be, use as much lube (or spit) as possible for the best experience. Also, don't be afraid to experiment with it. Try warming up the lube beforehand and watch your partner squirm with pleasure, or try a hot-and-cold lube and see how he likes it. Being creative with lubes is a fun way to make jerking off a differente from time to time, a pleasant surprise for him.
Lube is your best friend! Trust me, your partner will thank you for it, and you'll see him have a more powerful orgasm, which is the reward you're looking for, right?
3. Stroking techniques
As far as techniques go, I've found from experience that there really are just two "main" techniques and then a million variations of those two (maybe not a million, but you get my point). The first one is when you "choke" the dick by gripping it and then moving the skin back and forth. The second one is when you're sliding your hand up and down the cock (this one needs the most lubrication for the best sensations).
Zolo Pulsating Warming Dome Male Stimulator
It's a good idea to ask your partner which of the two is the one he uses the most (don't be shy and explain both to him if he's not familiar). Glans sensitivity may play an unconscious role in why he prefers one over the other. If you just decide for yourself and start playing with his cock, you may cause him discomfort by accident, which would delay the cum fireworks or cancel the whole show!
Now that you're set on which technique to use, it's time to decide in which position to jerk him off.
4. The true power of positions, speed, and rhythm
You might be thinking, "It's not real sex, what's this about positions?" and, first of all, if by this point I haven't convinced you that jacking off another guy is actual sex and that there's more to it than simply doing it, then you should probably stop reading now because there's no hope for you. Stick to blowjobs and anal and lose all the magic this can bring to your sex life. If that's not the case, let's dive deeper into this business and why it matters.
Yes, it's not like there's a Kamasutra for handjobs. Still, depending on the kind of experience you want to have with your partner, the position, speed, and overall rhythm can be a huge difference! Suppose you're looking for a very intimate moment. In that case, you can sit in front of him, have his legs over yours, both sitting in V positions, looking into his eyes while playing with his cock.
Tell him how much you love it, play with his balls, kiss him, put your cocks together, and stroke both of them simultaneously. Go slow, and pick up the pace little by little. Make sure you're worshipping him; he's the most sensual dude you've ever been with. You need him to cum just as much as you need breathing... This will create a very intimate experience that can help you both better connect at the moment, making this a much more powerful experience than a simple handjob.
In turn, if you're just there to have a fun time while he's playing a solo campaign on a videogame, then sitting next to him, grabbing his cock, and slowly jerking him off is the way to go. It's a comfortable position (especially if you're sitting on the side where your dominant hand is closer to his dick) that's great for a long jerk-off session. Because that's the point here, turn his gayming experience into a sexy one. IT also gives him some access to your cock in case he's looking to switch joysticks for a while.
Fun Factory Cobra Libre II Male Masturbator
You could also sit on the floor in front of him if you're not interested in whatever it is he's playing; that way, you can also lick his balls from time to time or even suck him off a little to rest your hand. He can focus on getting that platinum trophy while you focus on getting the platinum nectar.
If you're not looking for something that casual but don't want the super intimate experience either, then you can have him lay in bed, and you can sit on his stomach, facing away from him, and jerk him off this way. Your hand positioning will be different this way, which helps switch things off a bit. You can also jerk his cock and yours together without that ultra-intimate experience. You don't need to get into a slow pace either, you can go faster because that's the kind of experience you may be looking for. You could even see who cums first and use that cum as lube to bring the other cock to climax.
If you're looking to pay extra attention to the balls and play with his hole, then you can have him sit on the edge of a bed or a chair, and kneel in front of him on the floor (or even sit, whatever is more comfortable for you). If he's on the edge, you'll have easy access to his hole in case you want to rim him a little or finger him while jerking him off. Remember that a handjob doesn't mean ignoring everything that's not cock. Stimulating his prostate from the inside while licking his balls and jerking him off will give him a mind-blowing orgasm.
As you can see, where you are, what speed you do it at, and the overall rhythm can create very different experiences with the handjob as the main star.
5. "Where do you want to cum?"
Cum targeting is also a crucial part of the process. It's not just about us cum addicts, it's also about how your partner feels and the situation you are in. If you're in a hurry and don't have the luxury of making a mess, then you don't want cum flying everywhere, possibly staining clothes and/or furniture or flooring. If that's the case, using your hands to catch it all, or even better (and more effective), your mouth, could be the way to go. If you have more time and love a good facial, then be sure to aim his dick appropriately to receive the most amount on your face.
If you don't' want anything to do with his semen because you're grossed out by it (no judgment here), then aim it to the floor or to his stomach if he's laying down, and be sure to have toilet paper at hand.
If you really don't care about it at all and are okay with whatever, then the best thing to do is keep quiet and when your guy is close, ask him the sexy question, "Where do you want to cum?". Giving him this power is almost always very exciting for the guys about to climax and creates an even better memory of the whole experience on his mind.
If you are the type of guy grossed out by cum, but your partner loves cumming on you, and you want to get over it for him, then using your own cum fore training can help a lot. Getting used to the texture, the smell, and the taste can help overcome that grossness (although not every guy can, and again, no judgment here). In the end, if you don't love your own cum, how in the hell are you gonna love somebody else's? Can I get an amen?
Cumming is the end of the experience, and deciding beforehand what you want to do with it can help not break the mood. Just because he came, you don't need to rush out of there in a hurry.
Nexus Excite Silicone Anal Beads
6. The no-no zone
While not a lot of things can go wrong while giving a handjob, there are certainly some things that are very, very, very common mistakes most guys make. The most common one: showing clear signs that you're tired. Not all of them are intentional, so you need to be very careful about this. There's nothing that kills the mood faster than getting jerked off by someone who suddenly starts rubbing their arm or shoulder or sighing loudly because they're tired. When that happens, most guys will take longer to cum, or even take the matter into their own hands and finish themselves off, because now they're very self- conscious about the fact that they're taking their time cumming. You don't want that, do you?
Instead, if you're getting tired, try to naturaly incorporate other actions into the process. In fact, don't wait until you're actually tired to do it; keep switching things up constantly to avoid exhaustion. Maybe suck your partner's dick a bit, rub his balls a little while you kiss him, switch positions, and rub his perineum while resting a bit... there's a lot of things you could be doing to rest without him knowing.
If he is taking long, keep reassuring him, encourage him to take his time and enjoy it, let him know you're enjoying playing with his cock and want it to last. This type of verbal stimulation can actually help bring him closer to cumming, and enhance his experience.
Another common mistake is stopping or slowing down when he's cumming. While I encourage you to switch up the speed and rhythm of the handjob during the process, try to maintain the exact speed you were at when he started cumming through his whole climax. This way, the orgasm is way more powerful, trust me.
7. Get creative!
Now that you're the master of the handjob, be sure to get creative and make each jerk-off session as unique as possible. Remember, you can use incorporate some anal play, toys, textures, and a whole lot of other stuff to the handjobs you're giving your partner (or even yourself). The most important thing is, even though you're the one putting in the work, you should enjoy the experience fully. We're gay because we like cock, right? So what's wrong with worshipping it properly and enjoying every minute of it?
