10 Tips For When You Can’t Cum
It’s happened to all of us before: You and your partner are going at it like rabbits in heat. Suddenly, he is ready to orgasm, but you realize you’re nowhere near the finish line. He climaxes, and you are left with the decision to try and finish yourself off or look at yourself cumming as a lost cause. Eventually, you give up out of frustration.
You can’t cum.
This scene, unfortunately, is not completely foreign to many of us gay men, just trying to make it and get our freak with orgasm on in this cruel world.
It’s unfortunate that porn makes gay sex look so easy, when there are normal real life situations that can arise when two men have anal sex. Porn stars can go it at seemingly for hours without losing their erections, but for the rest of us, keeping a boner for that long isn’t always as easy as it sounds without a blue pill or hot fluffer on set.
Don’t have outrageous or unreal expectations: sometimes it is difficult for guys to cum. Women aren’t the only ones who fake it, especially when we feel pressured to finish the job sooner than later. Good orgasming wasn’t built in a day.
When you can’t cum, here’s what you need to do to step up your sex game and ensure the maximum amount of orgasms in your future.
Acknowledge your limitations. With age, does come a decrease in sex drive, for starters. If you’re getting older, a reality is that male sex drives are at their highest from 25-35, then testosterone levels begin to decrease in our bodies. So age can definitely play a factor in orgasm struggles.
Realize you can’t always masturbate 3-6 times a day and then expect to cum Old Faithful loads after that. If you struggle cumming, think about what your sexual practices entail. Holding off on self sex could be an answer for you if you find difficulties getting off when hooking up with a partner. Abstaining from orgasming helps build sexual tension and a stronger desire for orgasmic relief.
1. De-stress your life.
When it comes to cumming, don’t stress yourself out. In a Covid 19 world, everyone is bugging about something, so it is understandable that nerves are escalated during these times. Try to take moments out of your day to treat your mental health as a priority.
Stress is a huge factor that prohibits men from properly orgasming, and you can help aid in your sexual enjoyment by limiting the amount of stress you allow into your life.
Avoiding stressful behaviors, people, and situations will be a game changer in your world once you realize how much it can affect your sexual performance. The less stress, the better you are going to be in the bedroom, including climaxing.
2. Honesty is the best policy.
Be honest about what really gets you off. If you’re able to cum best being a bottom, own up to it. If you prefer to top to ejaculate, go for the big spoon roll during sex. I, for instance, am really orally fixated. I love fucking, but I love eating ass and sucking the D.
I can cum with a hot guy sitting on my face and riding my tongue. Some guys are into water sports and the second they take some piss, they blow their loads. Others’ nipples are direct stimulators to their dicks.
Acknowledging what really turns you on, taking you over the edge to orgasm, and then going for that act or mechanism will help you cum every time.
3. Communication is key.
Once you’ve established your kinks, fetishes, and gay sex preferences that send you over the orgasmic edge, embrace them.
Communicate your interests and desires with your sex partner, especially if these pleasures are guaranteed to get you off. Everyone has certain desires and fantasies. If your partner is in on the act, he can help you achieve an orgasm knowing exactly what to do to make you cum.
A good partner will be responsive to your needs, as you should be to his, too. Being open and upfront about what really turns you on will result in a more satisfying sex experience for you and your partner.
4. Let’s get visual.
Let’s face it: guys are very visual fornicators. We like looking at hot guys at the gym, checking out dudes at the grocery store, and watching television and film with sexy men in them.
Sometimes what us gents need is total visual stimulation. You can enhance your sexual experience with your partner or yourself by putting on some porn, even just in the background. Having that kind of a visual aid is completely normal and can add a sexiness to the sex situation you’re in.
Put on some porn and enjoy a 4D sexual experience. Just make sure your partner is comfortable with it, and respect him by not obsessively watching it, versus being engaged with him.
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5. Toys for the boys.
Bust out the tools. Every gay boy should have a small armory of items that can be used for sexual enhancement. If you’re struggling to cum and don’t know why, have you thought about bringing some toys or sexual aids into the bedroom?
Poppers, for instance, send many guys over the edge to orgasmic bliss. They can also help bottoms relax while getting penetrated. Just don’t abuse them and definitely. DO NOT use poppers if you are taking Viagra or Cialis (this is a deadly combo).
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A dildo, butt plug, cock ring, vibrator, and Fleshlight are all great items to have in your sexual arsenal.
The male G spot is in the ass, so anything that stimulates a guy from the inside out will help facilitate an orgasm to completion.
Lubricants, blind folds, handcuffs—anything to amplify your sexual experience.
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6. Set the mood to sexy.
There are lots of other sexual aids that don’t include insertion. Soothing background music, candles, essential oils, mood lighting, fresh sheets, and colognes immediately come to mind when attempting to get the mood right.
Go bigger with some sexy, kinky underwear and a new scent to really get your guy going. The more passionate and connected the experience, the easier it is to achieve orgasm.
Turn your bedroom into a temple of sex meant to be the perfect place for you to achieve full sexual satisfaction.
7. Stay Regular.
Exercise, eat your greens, get a good night of sleep, and drink plenty of water, always. Health, health, health darlings! A good healthy metabolism and body comes from eating right and exercising.
Staying in shape and keeping your body running like a healthy machine will improve your sexual performance. Not only will you feel sexy looking and feeling good about your body, you increase your chances of sustaining your libido when your system is in top condition.
Drinking lots of water helps maintain a healthy metabolism and keeps your energy and blood levels flowing better. The better blood flow, the harder your penis will be.
The harder you are, the more turned on you are and the more likely you are to have a successful climax.
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8. Side effects may Include:
Be aware of the prescriptions you are taking and what they can do to your body. Drugs like Finasteride for thinning hair and anti-depressants have been known to cause a decrease in sexual activity, interest, and functionality. Some pain killers can be orgasm killers as well.
Lots of medicines are absolutely essential for individuals with different conditions, just be aware of the effects these pills can have on your body, which can sometimes interfere with sexual performance.
Ask your doctor if you are unsure if your current prescriptions could interfere with your ejaculating. There might be alternatives that don’t leave you longing to cum without the ability to do so.
9. Get out of your head.
Don’t over think it. Lots of times, we get in our heads about this or that and can’t let go to really allow ourselves to just shoot that fantastic-feeling load.
Get out of your head while getting off, and try to just be there in the moment. If you think about too many different things, you might psych yourself out, have ridiculous insecurities, or get random thoughts that pop into your head, distracting you from bringing one home. Over thinking gets you no where.
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10. Think outside the box.
Try switching things up in the bedroom to explore uncharted sexual waters. How are you going to know if you are into something if you never even try it? For all you know, you might love being tickled or blind folded so much that you have no struggle at all to orgasm.
Maybe mutual masturbation is the way to get you off. As long as you are willing to be flexible with your sexual fluidity, you’re more likely to achieve climactic results than if you rigidly adhere to a regiment that just isn’t working for you anymore.
If you’re struggling to cum, don’t fret. There are millions of people around the world that also struggle climaxing from time to time. It’s a completely normal phenomenon.
Not all sex always leads to climax, anyway. When undesired behaviors like a failure to orgasm become a pattern, that’s when you should take notice. Implementing any of the aforementioned tips above can increase your chances of having sex with a good finish.
If you are still struggling to orgasm, consult a doctor as there might be a health-related issue involved. More than likely, you’re going to be cumming again like a champion.
