6 Tips to Have a Successful Threesome
Whether you’re new to the incredible man on man sex scene or a veteran who’s lost count of all the guys you’ve been with, one thing rings true for almost all of us queer guys in the wild, we’ve all fantasized about group sex in one form or another. You may jack off to the thought of being spit-roasted, drenched in cum in the middle of the biggest bukkake, or just watching two or more guys going at it right in front of your eyes... really, the possibilities are close to endless, and thanks to the world being more open and honest about sexuality and what a healthy exploration of fantasies entails, the chance to make this wet dream a reality is greater than ever.
But how do you end up living that fantasy, you may ask? Well, I highly recommend the good old-fashioned approach of “dipping your toes in the water” first, meaning, start with a threesome, and then go from there.
Though threesomes are definitely the “easier” option to approach the world of group sex, it may not be as simple as it sounds, you might get lucky and find one on your favorite hook-up app of choice on your first try, but then again, you probably won’t, and, let’s be honest, going into your first sexperience with more than just another person can be nerve-wracking, so that’s why I’ve compiled some basic tips based on my experiences with threesomes so that you can go hunt for one yourself with more confidence and, even though there’s no guarantee it’ll be mind-blowing, aim for a successful experience.
1. Communication is key
Bear with me a little because I’m going to take a little longer on this point than the rest since communication is, in my experience, the most important thing for a successful or even cumtastic experience.
The first (and probably very obvious) thing to keep in mind is that looking for a threesome as a single guy is a very different process than doing it as a couple. When you're going at it alone, you can either search for a couple who’s looking for a third or maybe look for 2 other free agents who’ll share the experience with you. You’re free to roam around and make decisions based on what you’re attracted to (not just physically but also during sex).
On the other hand, when you’re part of the couple that’s looking for a third, there’s a lot of things to take into account, and it all starts by talking about why you both want to add a third penis person into the equation and what you both want from this experience. You might be thinking at this point “well, those conversations should happen too when you’re going at it solo”, and you’re not wrong about that, but going solo means you negotiate with the other parties involved only on your behalf, whilst as a couple you both need to agree on everything beforehand.
Only after these can-be-awkward-but-really-shouldn’t-be conversations are over between you and your partner, the search can begin. Why is this so important? Because in some cases there’s a “pusher” in the relationship that wants it more than the other (or even, the other really doesn’t want it at all), and going into a three-way under that pressure will most likely guarantee a horrible experience in general.
It doesn’t matter if you’re just fuck-buddies or in a committed relationship, establishing ground rules, just like reading, is what? FUNDAMENTAL. And ground rules apply to both scenarios, and they can be as precise and explicit as you need them to be. There might be simple rules, like “no kissing” during the experience, or “I won’t bottom at all”, but don’t limit yourself during this stage, speak up and go for the I- want you-both-to-cum-on-my-face-and-then-kiss-me kind of rules, be sure you and the other two are actually on the same page about everything and take advantage of the extra person to live out the fantasies you otherwise could not (like the “getting fucked while fucking someone else” or the “choke on a dick while getting fucked” dreams).
Also, keep in mind that a successful threesome doesn’t necessarily involve a bottom, a top and a vers, you can have as much fun with two tops and a bottom, two bottoms and a top, or even three tops or three bottoms, there are extras of everything you’re normally used to, and of course there’s a variety of toys that can kick your play-time up a notch. Get creative and go wild!
Just remember, and say it louder for those in the back who are already on Grindr looking for their threesome, COMMUNICATION IS KEY!
2. Planning beats being spontaneous
Yes, you can decide to just go for it and do it, rip the band-aid and all, but I can say from multiple experiences (no, I’m not bragging, I just want to get my point across and yes, maybe brag a little) that taking the time to plan ahead, get to know each other and set a future date for the man sex festival will lead to a way better experience.
Planning gives you the time to get to know each other, figure out if you all want things from the experience that can be achieved (if one of you wants the other two to suck their dick but the others don’t like oral sex, then maybe this is not the right group of people for you), and even decide on a place where you can be as free as you need to fully commit to the experience. Rushing things could end up in the three of you in a cramped little room in someone’s apartment with loud roommates and an unexpected pet witnessing (and probably being traumatized) the whole act, and that most probably would spoil the entire sexcapade.
It also helps to build trust between you all, so that you can be comfortable enough to ask for something while fucking or stop something and not be too self-conscious about it. Trust me, there’s nothing worse than being in a position you really hate but are too embarrassed to admit it, that just ruins the experience for you and, what's worse, could turn you away from ever trying another threesome for all the wrong reasons.
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3. Over preparing can be a good thing
It’s finally time, you’re in charge of the lube, Chris Evans is bringing the condoms and paying for the hotel and Tom Holland is bringing toys, poppers, and a few other surprises. I know A list celebrities like them seem super trustworthy and you can be almost completely super certain they’ll bring what they promised but, in a group scenario, there’s no better certainty than the one you can bring to yourself so, even though you’re only in charge of the lube, pack a couple of condoms as well (and maybe even your favorite sex toy), a douche, and be sure to let someone you trust know your exact location (and maybe a face pic of the other two) just to be on the safe side. Also, bring some extra cash, we know Chris Evans can pay for the hotel, but what if he forgot his wallet?
Besides the already stated ways to “over prepare”, be sure to also relax before the experience begins. If you’re a super anxious person, try meditating, and avoid eating anything too heavy throughout the day (even if you’re not going to bottom) so that your nervousness doesn’t add up to the heavy meal and upset your stomach. We all fart, and we can all laugh about it, but it’s not THAT funny when you’re the one nervous-farting in front of two other naked guys.
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4. Don’t worry about erections
I cannot stress this enough, being able to maintain an erection during a 2-hour long sex marathon is not proof of your manhood. Erections come and go, and that’s completely natural, especially when trying things for the first time or when some nerves are involved, so RELAX.
Even if you’ve been in a group situation before, there’s no shame on your dick going limp from time to time. As long as you all are enjoying yourselves, then just stop worrying about it and keep exploring this side of you. Remember, stressing about not having an erection just makes getting one way more difficult, it’s a vicious circle.
5. Manage your expectations
Chris is as hot in person as in the movies, Tom is just as flexible as Spider-man, the hotel room is the most amazing place you’ve ever set foot in, everyone brought everything they were supposed to and you’re super hard and can’t be more sexually aroused... everything’s perfect, so you’re about to experience the best sex of your life, right? WRONG, you can’t know it and you shouldn't expect it!
Even if all the stars align and it looks like that’s what’s about to happen, things can still (and almost surely will) be a little awkward at first, especially the first time you and the other two get together. Awkwardness and lack of complete trust (even if you’re sure you all have chemistry from all the great communication you had beforehand) can have a not-so-great impact on the whole experience.
Even if everything went according to your wildest fantasies and both Evans and Holland are finishing the night cumming on your face, some of it can accidentally land right on your eye and that stuff, as delicious as some might find it (not saying I do, not denying it either), stings like a mother... so, yeah, aim for an amazing time, but never expect an impeccable experience or you’ll set yourself up for disappointment.
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6. Enjoy yourself
There are a million things that could go wrong, and a threesome could even show you a jealous side of your partner you didn’t even know about and can be kind of ugly but, in the end, you’re pursuing this because you want to live out a fantasy, expand your sexual horizons and get drenched in cum (ok, maybe that last part is more me projecting than anything else...), and that should be the whole point and focus of the experience.
If things go wrong, if ugliness surfaces, if farts become a shameful part of the experience, in the end, that’s all part of being human and part of learning and understanding what a threesome is all about. You’ll get more comfortable if you decide to try again, and each experience will teach you something about yourself you didn’t even know about, which can help shape your future sexventures and lead to a better, healthier sex life.
Threesomes are not for everyone but don’t be afraid to try them and make the best of them, because a successful one can be pretty awesome.
