Versatility in life is almost always good and when it comes to the bedroom, it’s even better.
However, identifying as vers (versatile) in the gay community has had its ups and downs with regards reputation.
I am here today to show you that being vers is not only liberating but also a great way to enjoy all manners of sex. As someone who identified as being top for years before experimenting with bottoming, I am in a good position to show both ends of the story.
Here are some reasons why being vers is actually better than being a top or a bottom exclusively.
1. Options: The more the better, right?
When it comes to sex of the casual kind, being vers is best. This is because you can literally fuck or be fucked without having to do some mental gymnastics to see if the guy you’re eying up would be a top or a bottom for your preference.
You don’t have to worry about his preference because you will enjoy it either way. How many times have you worried about “matching” with the guy you’re speaking with? Talking to a hot piece of ass only for them to turn around and say that they only top.
Or the opposite happens, when a guy with a nice bulge says they only bottom. If you are vers this isn’t an issue for you. If they are hot and up for it, you can have it either way. There aren’t a lot of gay guys out there as it is, let’s not limit ourselves, needlessly shall we?
Vers tip: Just because you enjoy it both ways, don’t let people assume that you are up for it either way.
I know that me and many other vers have to be in the mood for either or. Sometimes you just want to fuck or be fucked and that’s ok. Don’t feel pressured to top for a bottom or bottom for a top, sex is meant to be consensual and enjoyable. The more comfortable you are with your boundaries, the more at ease you will be.
2. Empathy: An under appreciated skill.
Let’s face it, if you are getting cock in your ass, you’ll know what works and what doesn’t. Even in a general sense. You will know that the ass needs to be relaxed and warmed up before going to town on it.
A top may know this in theory but will likely never really get it. They may be lazy lovers in that they give it a few moments before they really rip your ass open. While that can be a turn on for some guys, most bottoms would find that uncomfortable. You will know to take it nice and slow because you know what it feels like.
Likewise, with bottoming. You know what it is like to stick your dick in an ass. You know what feels nice, the tempo, the squeezing of muscles on the head of your cock.
So being vers can help you become a better bottom. By using your empathic skills you are able to not only make your experiences more enjoyable but also your sexual partner.
Vers tip: Just because you enjoy being fucked and fucking, that doesn’t mean you will know everything there is to know about both.
You will obviously have preferences when you are bottoming or topping so don’t assume you know best when it comes to sex. Make sure to keep communications open, including body language. Just because you enjoy bottoming or topping a certain way, that doesn’t mean everyone else does.
Keep an open mind, who knows you may learn a thing or two!
3. Comfortable: Kick back and relax!
It takes the edge off of you. Sometimes you just can’t get hard or sometimes you are just not able to relax your bum. It happens and for most guys, straight or gay, this can be disastrous.
But as a vers guy you are more adaptable. You can still enjoy another form of sex. This becomes especially useful when in a relationship, especially of the longer variety.
Sometimes there are blocks, either physical or mental, and it is reassuring to know that the quality of your sex life will not take that much of a hit.
This can in fact help you recover from mental blocks more quickly! The most important thing is to take the pressure off of yourself, breathe through the panic and flow into the other side of your sexual preference.
You may find that as you relax your barriers will come down and you will be able to revert to your original desires. Just one step at a time!
Vers tip: Even though you enjoy both being fucked and fucking, it’s ok to have a preference of one over the other.
Either in the moment or even in general. Some tops or bottoms or even other vers guys can be assumptive so be clear in what your needs are in the heat of the moment.
4. Flip Flop: A holy experience
This is the ultimate vers experience. Just in case you were unaware of the term, it basically means both topping and bottoming with the same partner at the same time.
Usually this involves physically flipping them over and this is where the phrase comes from.
This is an incredibly fulfilling sexual adventure and with the right person it can almost be a spiritual experience. Not only does it heighten the whole deed to an insane level, but it also makes it last longer, feel yourself about to blow? Flip over and let your man plough you for a bit. Is he about to let loose?
Take control and take his ass for a while. You will find that this is the ultimate edging experience and it won’t be long till both of your cocks are throbbing and the time in between fucking will get shorter and shorter. You will also find that by getting fucked just before you fuck does something magical to your cock.
With your prostate being stimulated, your whole body has an orgasmic experience. When you both finally cum, it will leave you shattered and shivering in ecstasy. Simply mind blowing.
Vers tip: While traditionally done with two vers men. It can be a great thing for couples to do.
If your partner is normally exclusively top or bottom, why not gently ease them into the other role? For example, with a top, why not try just the head for a few mins to start off and then bottom for the rest of the night? You can then switch back to bottoming but overtime you may find your top will be more open to bottoming.
The same can be done for bottoms. But you need to make sure that they stay hard and we have some butt plugs here that may be able to do the trick if your partner is a true bottom.
5. Open minded: As good as a pair of open legs.
Due to the fact that you are probably not too hung up on who is a bottom and who is a top, vers men tend to be more open minded. A new position to try as a fucker?
Let’s go for it!
An interesting way to get fuck? Sure, why not?
This sort of attitude not only really helps in the bedroom but also in gay life in general. It shows that you are open minded, and a lot of people find that attractive.
We live in a world that is often defined by labels (even vers people fall into it sometimes!) and it can be exhausting keeping up with appearances.
But if you are a vers man who genuinely enjoys sex and wants to do it both ways, that can be extremely attractive. This will greatly enhance your ability to pull someone for a casual sexual encounter.
Or even in a relationship, it can greatly benefit your partner as you explore every facet of both your and their sexuality.
This can also impact your life in general. Usually if you have a healthy sexual attitude, you have a healthy life overall. This is not to say that being vers is the only healthy sexual attitude.
But by embracing all parts of your sexuality, you are opening up other avenues in your life. You are inviting adventure and new relationships that may not have been possible.
You will find yourself becoming more receptive to different ways of thinking and can enrich your life overall.
Vers tip: Similar to when we first talked about options, just because you like it in both ways, don’t feel pressured to go for one side over the other.
You have needs too and it is just as important to look after them! Also as mentioned above, being vers doesn’t automatically make you superior to tops or bottoms. It just makes us a little more open and that openness invites versatility.
And versatility in the bedroom always spices up your life!