These days, my sex toy cabinet looks like the arsenal at MIB headquarters, but it wasn't always like that.
I still remember taking my first wide-eyed steps into a sex store on a sunny day in Minneapolis about [REDACTED] years ago and how I mostly just felt confused.
There were so many weird gizmos and mysterious items whose use I could only guess at that I felt a bit intimidated.
Little did I know that those first steps would lead to a life-long love of phallic things that buzz and all of the other little doodads that go with them!
Sex toys aren't cheap and I wasted a lot of money learning what was good and what was garbage.
I spent a lot of money trying all sorts of different things when, really, I would have been better off concentrating on getting a few high-quality core items to start me off on the path of figuring out what I like before diving deeper.
I could probably pay off the national debt of Portugal with the amount of money I would have saved if I had known then what I know now.
Well, if you're just now dipping your toe into the steamy waters of male sex toys, you can learn from my mistake.
I've put together this quick guide to the essential items for a budding sex toy collector's starter stash to help you do just that!
Here's everything you need to get a killer start on some sexy gear:
First Things First - Lube
The most important item in any sex toy arsenal is lube, bar none. You can't even properly use most sex toys without it and who would want to try anyway?!
Picking the right lube is important because some sex toy materials don't play well with certain lube types and get damaged when exposed to them. There are four basic categories of lube out there to choose from, oil-based, silicone-based, water-based, and hybrid. Each of these lubes has their pros and cons and some are better for some things than others. If you're not up to snuff on your lube lore, check out our complete lube guide to help fill in the blanks.
Now that you have the basics down, I'm going to lay down my favorite lube suggestions for each type and why I like it.
Water-based lube is my favorite all-around lube because you don't have to worry about toy compatibility - It plays well with everything. the only drawback is that cheaper water-based lubes tend to be a little too thin and lack the viscosity and staying power of other types. Luckily, there are water-based lubes that don't suffer from that issue, like Pjur Aqua.
You can't really go wrong buying lube of any sort from Pjur - they just make quality shit- but for water-based lube, they are unparalleled. Their formula is viscous enough to have some serious staying power while still not being sticky or uncomfortable and it is slippery AF. What more could you ask for?!
Silicone lube is the seriously slick, long-lasting stuff. the best use for silicone lube is for playing in the water because it doesn't wash away as easily as water-based lube does.
Unfortunately, most of the best male sex toys are made of silicone and silicone lube isn't compatible with silicone toys.
This makes it great for hand jobs, jacuzzi play, other wet fun, or lube for masturbator sleeves but not so great for things like silicone dildos or other silicone anal toys.
For my money, Swiss Navy's silicone lube is the stand-out champion. It's viscous, but light and lasts like no other. One of the great things about silicone-based lube is that a little dab will do you. So, the pump-style dispenser is awesome because it only pumps out what you need without waste.
This is my favorite lube to use with my Fleshlights and other strokers.
RELATED POST: Shop Swiss Navy Lube
Oil-based lube is pretty fantastic if you don't mind taking extra precautions to protect your bed clothes.
No other type of lube is longer-lasting and more apt for easing insertions, bar none. Oil-based lube tends to stay where you put it and you will almost certainly run out of steam before it does.
Oil-based lube is compatible with silicone toys and I highly recommend it for anyone who is thinking about getting into large insertions, fisting, anal stretching, or any other daring anal play.
It's also great for guys who are completely new to anal and could use a little extra glide to get that thing inside without feeling like your being split like a wishbone.
My favorite oil-based lube is easily Tom of Finland's Fisting Cream. It is extremely viscous and long-lasting, provides unbeatable lubrication, and has a very gentle numbing agent that helps ease insertion without leaving your asshole completely dead to the world.
Whether you're trying to fit a whole fist up there or you just want to have a smooth ride with your slender butt plug, this shit will treat you right.
For hybrid lube, it's best for beginners to experiment with the different properties of the various bases and decide what you like best. Really, you're the only one who knows what you like in a specific lube and only you can decide which blends would be best for you.
Try out a few of the various lube types and see what you like and then go from there!
Butt plugs are an all-around great toy to have in your collection.
You can use them to train up your anus to receive larger insertions, pop them in while you're jerking off or banging for a little extra oomph, or even leave them in running up to getting plowed to keep your hole open and ready for the main event.
Butt plugs come in a variety of shapes and sizes but mostly adhere to a basic teardrop shape, varying from slender to extremely bulbous. Some feature vibration functions, some don't.
Butt plugs are a bit like potato chips, one is never enough!
Expect your plug collection to grow over time, but here are a couple of suggestions to get you started.
For newbies looking for unpowered butt plugs, I would actually recommend picking up the Renegade Sliders Anal Training Kit because it comes with three different-sized plugs.
This gives you a little variety at the outset and gives you the option of starting on an anal training regimen to help you keep your hole in tip-top condition.
They're solid plugs with an excellent ergonomic design that eases insertion and maximizes sensation. They're all-around great plugs and having three to choose from is great from a beginner's perspective.
On the vibrating end of things, I absolutely adore my B Vibe - Vibrating Remote Control Rimming Butt Plug. While it's definitely on the higher end of the price range for butt plugs, you definitely get what you pay for!
This plug features some of the thumpingest vibrations around with a motor that's in just the right position to tickle my P-spot. This plug really shines because of the rotating beads at the base that massage and tickle your bootyhole. This is hands down the MVP plug in my collection. I can't recommend it enough, seriously!
A male sex toy collection without a prostate massager or two is like a nightclub without music. If you're not on board the prostate train, it's high time you got your fuckin' ticket!
If you're not sure what prostate massage is all about, our prostate massage primer has all the info you need to get started.
Much like the butt plug section, I'm going to suggest my favorite powered and unpowered prostate massagers.
While a good unpowered prostate massager will definitely do the trick, I've found that the ones that vibrate are a lot better at getting the job done.
The best unpowered prostate massagers are, without a doubt, made by Aneros. Their award-winning designs are more than just hype. These bastards really tickle that P-spot like no others. While they offer a variety of models, I have found, for me, that the Progasm Jr. is the cream of the crop.
It's the perfect size and shape to hit the P-spot and is actually one of the few unpowered prostate stims I've managed to get to work without using my hands. It's basically a masterpiece from a design perspective and it is firmly in the middle of the price range. Not too shabby!
Now, if you really want to experience something special, get yourself a vibrating prostate stimulator!
Nothing makes me come harder or faster than a seriously well-design, vibrating prostate stim and the Sir Richard's Prostate Massager is the most well-designed out there, without breaking the bank.
It has a wide base that works to transfer vibrations to the perineum and an insertable head that arcs just-so and never fails to hit the spot once placed. Add the rumbly vibrations and you've got yourself the best seat in the house!
Cock rings are a simple way to add a lot of depth to the sexual experience without having to spend too much money or effort to do it.
For beginners, I would recommend starting off with basic designs to get a feel for what wearing a cock ring feels like.
Once you decide whether you'd like to take it further or not, you can move on to more complex cock ring designs, like ball stretchers or sheathes. For now, we'll just stick to the basics!
I like to recommend wider, chunkier rings for beginners because they tend to be less pinchy and stay in place better in my experience.
I think the all-around best ring for a beginner would have to be the Supersoft C Ring from Tantus. It has a wider, flatter band and a stretchy, yet firm design that is both comfortable and effective.
Now, much like most male sex toys, I feel like vibration is always better. While you might have to pay a little extra for it, the extra sensation is hard to turn down. When it comes to vibrating cock rings, design is super important.
Poorly placed motors can make some cock vibrating rings hardly worth the extra scratch. That's why I like LELO Tor 2 Cock Ring.
It has an elegant, effective design and a well-placed vibrator that is powerful enough to shake the whole ring, instead of just a part of it. It's basically the Bentley of vibrating cock rings.
If you need a little help figuring out how to pick out a cock ring, this cock ring guide should tell you everything you need to know, from the basics of sizing to the various types and features available.
Having lots of cool things to put in your butt is cool and all but eventually, you're gonna wanna put your dick is something!
That's where masturbators come in. The male sex toy game has come a long way over the decades and the newest generations of male masturbators are a far cry from ye olde rubber "pocket pussies" of yore.
Nowadays, there exists an outrageous number of designs made from a dizzying array of materials to choose from, both with and without vibration functions.
The list of incredible masturbators on the market that I love is far too long for this piece so I'm going to give you my top picks for powered and unpowered models.
Fleshlight's classic models are fairly well-known the world over and they are definitely some of the best on the market. However, I really like the new models they are putting out.
I am particularly fond of their Fleshjack Ice Crystal - Jack Ass design. It features an intense internal texture, it's clear for more thorough cleanup, and features a puffy cushion at the opening that enhances the sensation of thrusting and makes it feel a little more realistic- More cushion for the pushin' and all that.
Now, for powered strokers, the choice couldn't be easier! The Pulse 3 Solo from Hot Octopuss is truly something exceptional. This design completely changes the landscape of male sex toys by providing a uniquely satisfying masturbation experience specifically and obsessively designed with the male orgasm in mind.
The vibration plate that runs along the bottom of the toy delivers directed vibration to all of the most biologically sensitive areas of your wang and the wraparound wings transfer that vibration around to the top.
This is a unique male sex toy that every guy should have in his arsenal! There's really nothing quite like it.
Hygiene And Accessories
Now that you have the core of your sex toy kit nailed down, you're going to have to fill out your collection with a few things to help you play safe.
The first thing I would recommend for anybody getting into male sex toys is to get a good anal douching kit.
There is nothing worse than a visit to brown town when all you want to do is get down, savvy?
You don't have to go overboard or anything, just get yourself a nice, simple anal douching bulb to help you keep things tidy is all.
I like the Clean Stream Deluxe Enema Bulb, personally. It's got a pliable, textured bulb that helps you keep a good grip and a gentle curve to the already flexible spout that helps you hit the hard-to-reach spots.
If you aren't up to snuff on anal douching, our complete guide to anal douching should round you out nicely!
The other hygiene item you almost certainly want to pick up is a good toy cleaner. Sex toys aren't cheap so putting in the effort to maintain them pays dividends in the long run.
I like Pipedream's basic toy cleaner for keeping my toys clean and disinfected. It's effective and inexpensive - What more could you need?
Finally, there is one last thing I would recommend every guy get if he's going to be putting things up his butt, a lube shooter.
These are basically syringe-like tubes that allow you to inject lube right up the ol' chute, directly where you need it.
It's a simple, effective way to make anal that much easier. Once you try one, you won't go back, promise!
My favorite lube shooter is the Smooth Silicone Lubricant Launcher from CleanStream.
It has a soft, slender silicone design that is easy and comfortable to insert, even if you're not warmed up yet.
~ Final Thoughts ~
Picking out your own male sex toys is about as personal as it gets. these are just a few suggestions based on my experiences and what I like. The main thing to keep in mind is to get yourself a few quality core items in each category.
TLDNR Version: Get yourself a good cock ring, butt plug, stroker, prostate massager, and some good lube and you will be well on your way to a burgeoning sex toy collection to get you through both those lonely nights and extra-fun hookups. Play safe out there!