10 Self-Care Tips for Better Bottoming
If we are being honest with ourselves as gay guys, we have to admit that we don't always make the best decisions from a health perspective.
No shaming here, I'm just as bad as the worst of us out there- It's just a straightforward statement of fact.
Really, the same could be said of anyone of any sexual orientation, but our lifestyle often exposes us to extra opportunities to be less than responsible with our bodies, this is doubly true for us bottoms.
Sadly, the riskiest behavior is often the most fun. Bareback orgy, I'm lookin' at you!!
Instead of coming at it from the approach of some prudish health nut, which I assure you I am not, let's just accept the reality of the situation and talk about the ways we bottoms can adapt to that reality in healthier ways.
Here are a few self-care tips to help bottoms live their happiest, healthiest lives!
1. Make Friends With Fiber
Keeping our funholes clean and happy is one of the biggest challenges we face as bottoms. So much effort and time goes into making sure the ductwork is clear down there and, even still, the ghosts of our meals still haunt us at the worst possible times.
I am a vegetarian now, but when I was a meat-eater, I used to have a lot of trouble keeping my back porch clear. I was talking to a carnivore friend of mine about it one time and he told me that the reason I started to have nice, compact little bunny turds is because of the sudden jump in fiber in my diet. He said he takes fiber supplements every day to help keep the ol' chocolate factory in tip-top condition.
Now, I'm not saying you should stop eating meat so you can have an easier time of keeping your ass clean- you do whatever the hell you want. What I am saying is that you can avoid a lot of the hassle of keeping your ass clean by simply taking a fiber supplement on the reg. Seriously, the difference is night and day!
2. Speaking Of Keeping It Clean...
Obviously, just eating a few more veggies or taking a supplement isn't going to be enough to keep the brown beast at bay! That's where having a regular cleaning regimen comes in handy.
Every guy out there is going to have different requirements. Some guys have super-efficient poop chutes and hardly have to worry about more than a little spritz with an anal douche after a particularly heavy meal. Other guys will have to put a bit more work into it.
The point is, you need to put a bit of effort in at the beginning to feel out your requirements for keeping the Lincoln Tunnel open for traffic. This is one area where a little preparation can go a long way.
First of all, you're going to want to make yourself a portable "Clean Kit" you can easily bring along with you when you think you might see some action on the Southern front. This kit should have everything you need to make a quick, clandestine pit stop where you can flush out any party-crashers before the guest of honor arrives.
If you use a douche bulb, remember that they aren't quite as thorough as a shower attachment. This means you should make sure to take your time and do it right. If you just rush through, things might not go the way you'd like them to.
Check out our guide to anal douching for more tips and tricks to help keep the mud-monster from ruining your next party!
3. Train For The Big Leagues
Any experienced bottom can probably tell you a tale about a time when they fucked a guy with a dick so big it literally scared them. Dicks come in all sizes, but the big ones are the ones you need to look out for.
Now, I should probably note that I am something of a size-queen. The bigger the better, as far as I am concerned. It wasn't always like that, though.
When I first started playing around with butt stuff, it was positively excruciating. Eventually, I knuckled down, bought a range of dildos in various sizes, and got down to the work of preparing to get down with the big boys. It took some effort, but now I could probably park a damn Volkswagen back there and still have room to spare.
RELATED: Newbies Guide to Dildos
What I am saying here is, you need to put in a bit of effort to train your hole up if you're ever going to be confident enough to take on whatever flops out of that zipper when the time comes.
We have a complete anal training guide available to help streamline the process, but you should probably start by investing in a good anal training kit. You can also find some useful general tips to help you improve the comfort of your anal sex here.
4. Know Your Limits And When To Stop
Anal play carries a number of concerning risks that are manageable, but extremely dangerous if ignored. The fact of the matter is, if you engage in buttplay, you're going to get fissures from time to time- It's unavoidable. How you react is what's important.
First things first, bleeding is a sure sign that you need to stop.
Continuing on after you see red is a great way to invite all sorts of problems, from a staph infection to HIV. While the healing-time can be infuriatingly lengthy, it's best to let them heal up before you start pounding away again.
If recreational drugs are something you are into, be aware that they can often desensitize you to pain.
While this can be a good thing in many ways, it is also a bit dangerous. If you aren't fully aware of what hurts and what doesn't, you are also unaware of what is damaging and what is safe.
By all means, get fucked up and bang the night away- Just make sure you're not getting hurt in the process.
5. Pick Better Toys
Not all sex toys are created equal, some are little more than novelties that can actually mess you up pretty bad if you don't use them properly.
Which is to say, make sure any toys you put in your butt are designed to be put in butts or you might be in for more than you bargained for.
The best anal toys are smooth, soft, non-porous, and completely body-safe.
The one material that almost always hits those marks is silicone.
For my money, it's the only way to go when it comes to anal toys. Other materials are safe and great, but silicone is simply a superior material for sex toys.
(We at Adam's Toy Box sell toys of all material types as we believe it is ultimately the consumer's free choice what they choose to put into their bodies. Your body, your choice.)
Remember, silicone toys are compatible with all types of lube, except silicone-based. It sounds weird, but silicone doesn't play well with silicone. Always be sure to use non-silicone-based lube (i.e water-based lube) with silicone toys and always keep your silicone toys from touching while in storage or they will begin to break down.
6. Up Your Lube Game
A lot of guys settle on one lube that they like and call it good. This is great, but some lube is better for different things and worse for others. For instance, water-based lubes are no good if you're fucking in the shower, they just wash away. In that case, you would want a silicone, oil, or hybrid of the two to get the job done right.
Experiment with various lubes for various activities and see what's best for you.
A good lube can be a bottom's best friend, especially if you're going to be partaking in some of the more "extreme" aspects of fucking. Which brings us to our final topic...
7. Extreme Fucking Requires Extreme Precautions
Remember earlier when I said that the riskiest behavior is often the most rewarding? Well, let's unpack that a little more and focus on two activities in particular: barebacking and fisting.
I'm not gonna lie, I like it raw, but my fear of infection outweighs my enjoyment of bareback. even with PrEP, I just can't shake my fear of disease. Maybe all those PSAs in the '80s and '90s worked, maybe I'm just a worrier.
My position aside, there is a lot of bareback fuckin' going on in our community and that's awesome, as long as it's done as responsibly as possible. This means taking PrEP and committing to getting tested regularly.
PrEP is extremely effective for preventing the spread of HIV, but it doesn't do shit for The Clap, just to name one.
Regular testing will not only help reduce the chance that you transmit an infection to others, but also help you catch the infection early enough to effectively treat it. It's good for you, it's good for everyone else, and there really is no excuse not to be careful about this sort of thing.
Now, as far as fisting is concerned, you have to be careful in other ways. This isn't something you just decide to do on a whim. It takes some preparation beforehand and a partner who knows what the hell they are doing. If you just blindly jump in and have some guy punch you in the rectum, you're basically begging for an embarrassing, possibly expensive trip to the ER.
Always make sure to start slow and work your way up from there, and make sure you completely trust your partner to follow your lead without question, especially if they are inexperienced. This is also an activity where picking the right lube is crucial!
You want something with maximum glide, high-viscosity, and maximum staying power.
While Crisco is an old-timey favorite, you can definitely do better than that! My favorite fisting lube is Tom Of Finland Fisting Cream. That's my personal favorite, but it's probably best if you experiment a bit before settling on one lube for your fisty fun.
Seriously, take it from a guy who's had more hands up his ass than all of The Muppets combined, the right lube can make or break a fisting sesh.