If you've ever gone looking for gay sex tips online, you've probably noticed that there isn't a lot out there beyond the first few hits at the top of the page that actually deal with the real meat of the issue. Even worse, you've probably noticed that many of the hits you get on that search come up with results for sex tips from gay guys for straight, cis women.
While I'm sure those girls could use more than a little help- you don't see a lot of tips from straight girls for gay guys, after all- it's not all that helpful for a gay guy looking to up his game. Usually, it's a list of things you just know already. It's high time that changed.
You want some real-deal, dare I say hands-on, advice that you can put to work in the bedroom. You don't need to be told that guys like it when you talk dirty or surprise them with random handjobs. No shit- Gimme something I can use, here!
Well, if that's what you're hunting for, you've just hit pay dirt. Here are some next-level gay sex tips that you can actually use that'll keep them coming back for more.
1. Get To Know Your Kegels
One of the best things you can do for the quality of your sex, both for you and your partner, as well as your overall sexual health, is to get to work on working those Kegel muscles. These are the muscles in your pelvic floor that help facilitate nearly every aspect of your sexual activity and mastering and strengthening them boosts your sex life in almost every respect.
From increasing the intensity of and allowing control over your orgasms to stronger, harder erections, these exercises will open up exciting new sensations and a feeling of increased confidence in the bedroom. You can even use your Herculean crotch muscles to add a little extra flourish when you are fucking or getting fucked, but I'm getting ahead of myself- more on that in a few. For now, let's focus on how to strengthen those bad boys.
The first thing you need to do is figure out where the hell they even are and how to exercise them. Luckily, both of these things are ridiculously easy to do- you already use them every time you take a leak. The next time you are urinating, interrupt the flow and pay attention to the muscles you flexed to do so. Yup, those are the muscles you need to focus on!
Now that you know what and where they are, let's focus on how to improve their strength. All you have to do is contract those muscles tightly for a slow 4-count and then release for another slow 4-count. Then, repeat this process 10-15 times.
If you can't quite make these counts or reps yet, simply do the best you can until your Kegels are strong enough to do the full counts/reps. You should shoot for doing this exercise a few times throughout your day, I like to do it whenever I think about it and am in a position to practice.
The great thing about Kegels is that they can be done just about anywhere, waiting for the bus, riding the bus, sitting at a desk, waiting in line at the grocery store- well, you get the idea. You can do these exercises just about anytime and anywhere.
So, what do you do with them once they are fighting-fit? You can look into orgasm control techniques that will allow you to do a number of nifty tricks from reducing or eliminating your refractory period to preventing orgasm until you are ready, among others.
On the more hands-on side of things, you can clench those badass muscles while you are getting fucked to kung-fu grip your man's wang while he's banging you. Not only does this make your guy's dick feel great, it also presses your prostate up against it which makes you feel great, too.
The flipside of that for tops is that you can flex those muscles while you are banging your bottom and it will cause your dick to tense up and jerk. Again, it will help you tickle his P-spot a little better and the sudden rush of blood will add just a little extra stretch around his backdoor.
If you are both practiced at this, and you can incorporate those Kegels rhythmically and time it so you do them together, the results are not to be believed. Master this, and you might want to consider some sound-proofing for your room for your neighbors' sake.
2. Mirror, Mirror
If you are like me, you feel a lot of pressure to perform well with a new partner. The problem with this is: If you're with a new partner, you don't really know what they like. Feeling out a new sexual partner is kinda like starting a new roll of toilet paper, though. Once you get the little glued down tab piece lifted up, annoying as that can be, the paper practically rolls off by itself.
How the fuck is that like a new partner? Well, once you get your new guy riled up enough to start getting handsy, he'll start to show his own sexual behaviors toward you. At this point, you can assume that he is doing the things he is doing because those are the things he thinks feel good. The tab has been lifted, the paper is unrolling on its own.
From here, you can start reflecting what he does to you back to him. If he is paying a lot of attention to your balls, chances are he's going to like having his balls played with, etc. Obviously, you have to switch it up a bit so he can't tell you copied. Who says cheating on tests in school doesn't teach you anything?
Obviously, this is a very short-term strategy. It's not meant to be an ongoing technique, just an early cheat to help you get acquainted with your new partner's body. Eventually, you are going to have to strike out on your own and get creative.
3. Eat That Ass Like It's Your Last Meal
There aren't many ways you can fuck up eating ass, but being too timid about it is easily at the top of that list. You need to get in there and eat that bastard out like a starving man in a pie-eating contest. Really let your guy know you are diggin' on digging into his butt buffet and you can't go wrong.
If you are too timid about getting down on his chocolate starfish, he might feel self-conscious about his anal cleanliness or feel like you are only doing it because you feel like you have to. If either of those scenarios is true, you shouldn't be eating his ass in the first place. If they aren't, why are you fucking around?! Get in there and root around like a truffle hog and be sure to sample the whole buffet.
Get around to his meat and two veg from time to time and always maintain a high level of enthusiasm for the task at hand. An enthusiastic rimjob is one of the best things in the world and a partner who receives one will definitely keep your number so he can come back for seconds!
4. Press His Magic Button
An enthusiastic rimjob is one of the best things in the world, but a prostate orgasm, for my money, is the best thing in the world. If done properly, prostate massages are closer to a religious experience than a sexual one and will have your man worshipping you like the god you are if you can get good at blessing him with them.
If you have never experienced the full-blown, face-melting ecstasy of a P-spot orgasm, you've got some homework to do! I'll run down the basics here, but this newbie's guide to prostate massage should have all of the CliffsNotes you need to make the grade. For now, I'm just going to cover the broad strokes.
If you've ever hit "that spot" while fingering/toying yourself or while getting banged, you know exactly what I'm talking about here. "That spot" is your prostate, and it's a magical button you can work to experience the most intense orgasmic sensations available to humans with a penis.
Pick up a good prostate massager and practice alone to get started. Aneros makes extremely user-friendly, hands-free models that are great for pros and beginners alike. Lube it up, pop it in, and position it so it's bumpin' up on your happy spot. Then, start flexing those Kegels and the massager will pretty much do the rest. Told you those Kegels are handy!
If you really Want to kick your prostate into overdrive, consider adding some vibration into the mix. The difference between a vibrating prostate stim and an unpowered stim is like firecrackers and A-bombs.
I've got a Loki Wave that's got my P-spot on speed-dial and it pretty much reduces me to jelly in under 15 minutes. Fair warning, some guys can't handle as much stimulation as others and might prefer a gentler vibe or no vibe at all. It's a matter of taste. If you are a vibe-whore like me, though, that Loki will thump your fuckin' guts.
Really, you should check out the guide linked above for the whole story, it's a bit more complicated than this basic rundown, but you get the general idea. There is a magic button in your asshole that you can press to feel insanely good. Take that knowledge and do what you will with it!
5. A Final Bit Of Advice
The most important way you can perform like a champ in bed is to feel like you are a champ in bed. Confidence and a lack of inhibition are two of the sexiest behaviors a guy can exhibit, in my book. Learn to let go of all of the bullshit baggage you are bringing into the bedroom and develop a new persona that you can unleash in the sack.
Learn to let that savage, primitive side of your psyche out to play while you're getting down and dirty. Sex is a primal thing when you get down to it- no sense pretending otherwise. Think about how humans used to be in the ancient days when we fucked like animals on the sun-dappled forest floor with wild abandon because there was nobody there to tell us we were wrong or judge. Just be two humans being human together and things will flow naturally.
That advice just might seem like a pretentious way of saying that you should "trust your gut" but it's more than that. Good sex is good because two (or more) people's bodies are coming together and fluently speaking the language that bodies speak.
That language is guttural, made up of moans and snarling and biting. There's nothing civilized about it. So, leave the civilization on the floor with your clothes and you might be surprised by what emerges. Your partner definitely will!
