Your Grindr chats are getting hot and heavy and you’ve started to send those sultry snaps.
A pouty lip, a flexed arm and then his ass. It’s a nice ass, don’t get me wrong, but we all know an ass before cock signifies one thing, that sexy suitor you’ve been pursuing is looking to get plowed to kingdom cum... you’ve hot a rock hard bottom. Such is life in a world of positively teeming with bottoms. So what happens to a hungry hole without a cock? This curated list of sex toys helps bottoms find the toy that meets their comfort level. Those looking for some movie ass play? Try ‘Step One’ on for size. Have a more experienced hole looking for a thirst quencher, skip ahead and take a look at some of the more advanced options.
When considering any toy for backdoor fun you should weigh your experience with your comfort to come up with a device that is going to meet your needs while maximizing enjoyment.
It’s far too common for many of us to beat the meat just to finish while missing out on the opportunity to explore our bodies and our pleasure points. Anal stimulation is naturally different for everyone. Whether you’re a ‘just the tip’ kinda guy or you prefer the deep, probing ass play, finding the right ‘fit’ is key.
From that virginal tightness of a newbie to the cavernous stretch of regular fisting you can find something that meets your current needs and helps you grow into something a little more... fitting.
Step One The Virgin Hole Guy
You’ve been masturbating since the summer of Grade 7 and haven’t looked back since. It’s been a lovely relationship filled with many a bedroom wank but it seems lately you just aren’t as satisfied as you once were. Perhaps a drifting finger southwards during a steamy solo sesh triggered some excitement, maybe a tease between the cheeks in the shower. This is your tight, virgin hole screaming for a little attention after years of neglect and it’s time to start exploring.
The key for many new bottoms is the old adage less is more. While we all drool over the nine inch cocks swinging unfettered in a guy’s great sweatpants, sending something of that size and girth into a tight, unsuspecting asshole can be damaging, unpleasant and a deterrent for future ass play. Alternatively, I would suggest sticking with something smaller at first that allows you to explore safely.
Colt Anal Trainer Kit
The Colt Anal Trainer Kit is a series of butt plugs that come in varying length and girth. What I love about these is the versatility of their use. A small unassuming butt plug may be best inserted at the height of your jerk, when you’re at your peak horniness and you crave a little stimulation to send you over the top. What is more, the portability of these devices means they are great for shower play. I find that a hot shower helps loosen the tension around your hole and having a little something nearby is a great way to get in a little practice. Just take care you don;t leave one in the shower for you roommate to find... then again, maybe that was the point all along.
Step Two The Cautious Explorer Guy
At first, it may be a tough sell to some aspiring bottoms. Nevertheless, that twitch of excitement when your finger ran over your hole just before you burst was the first sign that there is some enjoyment to be explored here. Now that you’ve trained yourself at home with varying butt plugs we can start to explore beyond the ‘tip’ and find our what pleases you ‘round back.
Dildos are as old as sex. Oh to be a fly on the wall when that first bottom decided to insert a smooth phallus into his hungry hole; setting free millennia of thirsty bottoms who followed, all plowing their own asses in the sweet name of self-pleasure. (Dildo Buyer's Guide)
A dildo is the natural next step in your journey into bottom-hood. For any prospecting bottom finding a dildo is like finding that pair of jeans that just fit like a glove. For once, function trumps fashion in this department. You want to find something that introduces you to anal penetration and doesn’t scare you away. Enter the King Cock 6" Cock with Balls!
King Cock 6" Cock with Balls
I love the realistic look of this dildo and the addition of the balls adds a natural feel and a great holding point to channel some of that carnal desire. What works with this dildo is the size. Seven inches from suction cup to tip, six inches from balls to tip and about 5 inches of insertable length. I find that bottoms who ‘practice’ on cocks of this size are setting themselves up for greater pleasure in the future as you will likely experience far more six inch cocks in your life than the eight inches or more they claim to be. Plus, you get the silicone suction cup for the shower wall in case that hot roommate didn’t get the hint the first time.
This dildo will help get you used to insertion. Take it slow and lube it up. You might start with a few inches and get used to the feeling of being penetrated. As you become accustomed to that feeling work your way up to the full length and see how that feels. The further you go the more adjustment it takes so don’t be afraid if your first kick at the can (or slide of the shaft I should say) make you a little squeamish, that is natural .
Step Three The ‘Just a Little Deeper’ Guy
Now, you may be new to bottoming but perhaps you’re no stranger to anal sex. Many a top have pleased their eager bottom(s) and relished in the moaning and begging that comes with a hungry hole. Hearing the sounds of ecstasy from someone enjoying your cock is one of the best turn-ons out there, wanting to experience that for himself therefore, completely understandable.
While penetration is great, a lingering cock in your hole isn’t the end of the bottoming story. There are myriad variables involved in pleasing a bottom and tops must learn how to ‘curate’ an experience that will leave them begging for more. This means we need a tool box for our tool, techniques we can employ that help find and satisfy the unique pleasure points of your chosen partner(s). Using a dildo is a discovery process, learning what pleases you in the butt helps when communicating your needs to a potential partner.
Ass Thumpers Real 10x Silicone Vibrating Thruster
The Anal Thumpers Real 10X Silicone Vibrating Thruster is the perfect toy for the newly penetrated. We aren’t talking anything terribly girthy here, nor have we added much in length. This toy adds in the sensation of motion. Vibrations and pulses will help stimulate inside and around the anus and a decent handle at the end leaves you in full, exploratory control. Slight movements up and down, side to side and deeper into your anus allows you to discover where your pleasure zone is. For many guys, this is about finding the prostate, and Anal Thumpers gives you the control and vibrating stimulation to do this in a controlled setting.
Step Four The ‘Look Daddy, no hands!’ Guy
At this point in your journey we’ve clearly identified you’re into ass play. With a butt plug sitting on your nightstand, a dildo suctioned to the wall of the shower and a vibrating thruster buzzing in your asshole, it is safe to say you are graduating, young grasshopper, into the penetrative pleasure of cock in your ass.
Aneros Trident Series Prostate Stimulator - MGX
As we explored the benefits of vibrating anal stimulation with any luck we found that pleasurable p-spot and we are eager for more. In comes the Aneros Trident Series Prostate Stimulator - MGX. Toys like this are specifically designed to massage the prostate, often leading to intense pleasure and even explosive orgasms (Aneros Prostate Toys 101). Learning where the prostate is and what exactly induces that pleasure is part of your personal self-care (tell that to your boss when you need a personal day)! This nifty toy is curved for your pleasure as the prostate is located almost directly above your testicles and not down the rectum as commonly thought. The unique trident arms are designed for easy movement and even for hands-free pleasure. I find this toy extremely useful if you are training for that elusive hands free orgasm, just get those hips ready for some Shakira- like shaking.
Step Five The Girth Guy
A six inch cock may not be the porn penis of our nocturnal emissions, but I’ve ridden my share of six or less and length is too often prioritized over all else. I have learned in my market research (see: Cum Dumpster 101), that playing with other variables can actually lead to more pleasurable sex. One of these is girth. As I move out of my college hole days into a an era of a more stretched, relaxed hole, I am able to take a greater selection of cock than ever before. I can remember a few whimpers at 19 when six inches of girth were squeezed between my legs and the bow-legged walk home that followed. Adding in girth early in your exploration will help acclimate your hole to a wider variety of man meat. We can’t always predict what we will find under the jock strap so being better prepared for a wider variety of cock is an essential part of bottom prep.
Loverboy The Matador
For this I have thoroughly enjoyed Loverboy the Matador. This dildo gives me all the feels of a sexy air force pilot who’s packing a little extra girth. The hyper realistic look, the 5.5 inch girth and the delicious balls that tend to bounce against your hole with some aggressive thrusting, feed into a wide variety of delicious fantasies while stretching your hole to accept a little more of that dong you’ve been craving. This is another suction cup dildo and while at first I preferred my dildos on the bed I find having one suctioned to the wall of the shower increases usability and really plays up any shower sex fantasy you may be harbouring. It’s hard to soap yourself up next to the Matador without taking him for a quick spin.
Step Six The ‘Can’t Get Enough’ Guy
Now that we are riding almost anything suctioned to the wall of a growing shower collection, we start to move into the territory of preference. Before this it was all exploring, finding the right size, place and girth. Now it is about narrowing (or widening for some) the variables into those absolute must-haves.
Figo Vibrating Anal Beads
One way we can enhance our pleasure is extending our session beyond the 10-15 minutes after we wake up or before we go to bed. Sometimes a product that is designed for extended wear helps prolong the fun and assist in training yourself for long nights of cock (or cocks). The Figo Vibrating Anal Beads are designed for extended use and even wear if you are comfortable with anal beads. Varying sizes help to satisfy all comfort levels and 1-1.5 hour run time allows you to really get into the groove of self-pleasure.
This kicks up the game a little but offering something more discreet to use while working from home (or the office if you are feeling bold), and the different vibration settings could be the answer you need to that midday slump. Who knows, if you see a productivity boost maybe they could be company issued?
Step Seven The ‘Always Has the Newest iPhone’ Guy
At this point, we’ve entered the realm of advanced. While some guys are happy to stick with a trusted vibrator or an above-average dildo as their not-so-guilty pleasure (anything that can be suctioned to a wall is no longer subtle), some are movers and spreaders, and they are constantly searching for a little more.
Malesation Vibro Spreader Plug
The best part of the sex toy world is that there is always something to test the limits of your sexual pleasure. While there will always be a place for a bedside butt plug or a six inch dildo to throw in your weekender, sometimes your self-care is looking for some elevation. The Malesation Vibro Spreader Plug is one of those toys that elevate an existing experience to a new level of excitement. We started our list with butt plugs as a great introduction to ass play and the Malestation enhances this experience with a spreading plug. Spreading your ass to stimulate your prostate can be a powerful experience, and the comfort of using a butt plug helps to make the experience familiar yet satisfyingly original (Anal Stretching 101). Once you master the spread try adding in the included vibrating bullet to help massage that prostate until your hands free splooge game is honed and ready for debut.
Step Eight The ‘One Is Never Enough’ Guy
Now, I think we can all attest to an early idea that one is not enough. It started out on Halloween at age five: ‘You can have one candy tonight and we will save the rest.’ Bitch, please, I’ll be thirty wrappers in sometime after midnight when you fall asleep. It continued to Christmas: ‘You can open one gift tonight and the rest tomorrow.’ Come on, I’ve known the contents of every box under that tree since early November. And it culminated with the chocolate bunnies we received at Easter: ‘One bite and then put it back.’ Karen, if I get only one bite I am going straight to eating ass. Then there comes a time in the life of many bottoms where you get the whisper ‘I want to put mine in too...’.
I’ve been there. I’m having a good time, I’m riding cock like I’ve trained to do and then you are faced with such a sudden conundrum, an offer, a challenge. Two cocks?I n my ass?Suddenly every chocolate bunny ass you’ve eaten comes into view, every discarded candy wrapper and spoiled Christmas surprise comes hurling back at you as a second cock waits longingly against your already stuffed hole.
Blush Dr. Skin Dr. Double Stuffed
For the brave and horny, two dongs in your ass can be a euphoric experience and there are ways to practice this before being faced with one of life’s greatest questions. I prefer the Blush Dr. Skin Dr. Double Stuffed, a dildo with two realistic dongs that is a great sequel to the Malestation Vibro Spreader Plug. Now this isn’t an every day for me. It’s a spontaneous moment that comes up every now and then and has me scrambling through the dildo collection looking for the two-fleshed beauty. Sometimes I may revisit the ‘Double Stuffed’ if I'm prepping for a threesome that might result in a double feature an I find this stretches my hole enough so that I can fully enjoy the sensation.
Step Nine The ‘Tried Everything’ Guy
Up to this point in our list I have been on board. Give me the plugs and the dildos, the pulses, vibrations and the double stuffs. To be honest, I really only reached Step Eight in the recent past and I have been exploiting this new pleasure vehicle ever since. Step nine is the expert category of our list, and I will admit I am no expert. Here we take things to their limits and add in size, girth and fetish. Meet Falcon’s The Grip Cock in Hand Dildo.
Falcon The Grip Cock in Hand Dildo
If you have ever been interested in fisting this is the starer toy for you. Like our entire list so far, ‘The Grip’ essentially eases you into the ‘art of fisting’ by starting with the familiarity of a cock, and by now you are well versed in cock. This is a big dong mind you, but starting at the tip and working down the shaft will help stretch your hole and prepare you for the climactic crescendo, the fist itself. The beauty of this toy is the realism put into its creation. A real hand holding an actual cock was used as a mold for this epic toy of toys. And between you and I, either he has a small hand or that truly is a massive schlong. (Fisting Tips)
Step Ten The ‘Insatiable’ Guy
For those who have ridden the long road littered with dildos and butt plugs and arrived at this point, surely you must be sore. But there is a small group of truly thirsty bottoms that make it to the promised land, and for that, they are rewarded.
Jaxx Hammer 2.0 Rechargeable Sex Machine
Our final toy and the culmination of nine previous steps of practice is the Jaxx Hammer 2.0 Rechargeable Sex Machine, a hands free, rechargeable, cordless thruster that provides endless penetration with different movements, speeds, pulses and thrusts to satisfy even the hungriest of holes.
It may seem like some of our previous toys packed more punch, but the reality with a sex machine is that it truly lasts and lasts, providing bottoms that defy the norm a constant outlet to satisfy their insatiable appetite for cock. The cordless features makes it ideal for the home office (watch those Zoom calls), the reading nook (Harry Potter was never so exciting), your airplane seat on a long flight (the buzzing is drowned out by the white noise of the aircraft, I promise). The ability to be fucked long, hard and often (without the daunting Grindr chats to slow you down) tires me out just thinking about it, but somewhere out there he is waiting, patiently, for his chance to ride Jaxx into cumshot ecstasy.
