Good foreplay is essential to having great sex and one of the best forms of foreplay is erotic massage. So much of really getting down relies on your partner being relaxed, especially if they are going to be bottoming. While a regular massage will almost always make your partner happy, a massage with a happy ending is obviously going to go over even better.
Adding erotic massage to your bedroom repertoire is an incredible way to up your sexytime cache. It's hard to dislike a guy who can make your muscles melt into a puddle of pleasure, leaving your body relaxed and your balls drained, after all.
What Is Erotic Massage?
Well, it's all kinda there in the name! A standard massage is done with the intent of manipulating the muscles of the body with an eye toward relaxation and/or therapy. In short, it's something you do to make someone feel better, both physically and mentally.
If you doubt the power of therapeutic massage to affect a person's mental state, ask a masseuse about people crying uncontrollably during massages. Seriously, that's a thing.
Erotic massage, on the other hand, has slightly different goals. Of course, you want to help your partner feel better, but the ultimate goal of erotic massage is to either get your partner worked up for some serious banging or to get them incredibly worked up before you finish them off another way.
If done properly, an erotic massage will have all of the benefits of a therapeutic massage, with the added bonus of mind-blowing orgasm at the finish line.
How To Give An Erotic Massage In A Few Easy Steps
Now that we know the difference between the two types of massage, let's dig into how to actually give an erotic massage. It pretty much boils down to four different phases which I will outline below.
Phase 1: Preparation
You're going to need a few things ready to go ahead of the event to pull this off properly. You're going to want to have all of your various paraphernalia on-hand and ready to go and you will likely need to make a few practical accommodations, as well.
The first thing you're going to need is some massage oil or a massage candle to help cut down on friction and add some extra sensual dimension. In addition to making the massage feel better, any good massage oil or candle worth its salt is going to smell nice too. I'll make some suggestions for some good oils and candles later on. For now, suffice it to say that they are essential.
You're also going to want to think about what that oil will do to your bed linens and make arrangements to mitigate any staining or damage to your good linens and mattress. Either some thick sheets you use just for this sort of thing or some lighter ones placed over a protective under layer should do the trick. Either way, things tend to get a bit oily and sloppy during an erotic massage- It's best to be ready for that.
You'll also want to set the mood with some soothing music and gentle lighting. It helps to set aside a time for the massage when you are sure you won't be disturbed and you are guaranteed a bit of peace and quiet.
Finally, you're going to want to have any sex toys you plan to use charged up and laid out nearby for easy access when you need them.
While that seems like a lot of hassle just to get freaky, it's a hell of a lot better to expend the effort ahead of time than it is to be fumbling around looking for things you need or freaking out because your high thread count Egyptian cotton sheets look like the aftermath of an oil tanker crash.
Phase 2: Regular Massage
The main thing to remember when you are starting out is that the erotic massage shouldn't start until after a nice, long regular massage. The idea is to get your partner into a deep state of relaxation before you begin to stimulate them sexually.
I like to start with a bit of a head massage before I oil up and get to work on the rest of the body. Apply gentle pressure to the center of the forehead, the "third eye", and also gently massage the temples and the base of the skull where the neck meets the head.
Then, oil up and get to work on the neck proper and work your way down the body, making sure to hit all of the major muscles as you go. Pay special attention to the muscles that feel more tense than others. That tension is a sign that your partner carries their stress physically in that location and lets you know where to give them a little extra love to release it.
Pay special attention to the neck, shoulder blades, upper shoulders, calves, and feet. Seriously, get after those feet! A lot of tension gets held there and much of the tension found higher up in the body originates from tension in the feet. You're also going to want to spend some extra time on your partner's lower back around the kidney area.
It's important to note that you should avoid your partner's erogenous zones until you move into the erotic portion of the massage. At this point, the goal is to relax your partner in preparation for the sexy stuff later on. There is one notable exception to the above rule, though- You're going to want to give your partner's buttocks a nice, deep massage because we tend to hold a lot of tension there.
Just make sure you don't get carried away and start poking around or getting silly yet. Keep it business-like until it's time to get nasty!
Phase 3: Teasing
This is where things start to get really fun for everyone involved. Once you've given your partner a full-body massage- head, neck, shoulders, back, wrists, calves, etc.- you want to start teasing them sexually by massaging and caressing the areas near their nasty bits without actually touching them. This is a great way to build anticipation and, when done properly, should start to drive your guy into a sexed-up frenzy of anticipation.
You'll want to be nice and oiled up and focus on getting as much skin contact as possible throughout this phase while still avoiding traditional erogenous zones. I like to get myself oiled up nicely and run my arms and hands up there body, stroking areas near their junk like the inner thighs and the perineum. I also like to slowly rub my entire up and down my partner's body when he is on his back.
Those are a few things I like to do at this stage, but you should get creative and come up with some things on your own. You know what your partner likes more than I do, so you should trust that and work with what you know.
The main thing to keep in mind throughout this phase is that you are teasing and that you should take things very slowly. Taking things slowly holds throughout every phase, but be extra mellow throughout the teasing phase. Don't move on until they are practically begging for release!
This is also a good time to break out any vibrating toys you might plan on using. You can use the vibes to excite the areas near the erogenous zones and they can even help work out any remaining tension in your partner's stubborn tension zones.
Phase 4: Let The Wild Rumpus Commence!
Now is the time to start paying attention to all of the areas you have been almost touching throughout the teasing phase. A slow, sensuous handjob, a bit of prostate massage, some more in-depth fun with toys, and all of the other stuff that stokes your partner's libido are on the table here. Remember, though, you want to still keep things going slow. In short, this is the point where you should begin to ramp up the foreplay to it's fullest before heading into the final phase.
I particularly recommend prostate massage at this point because relaxation is crucial to achieving multiple male orgasms through prostate play and your partner has a much higher chance of achieving that holy grail of sexual ecstasy in such a relaxed state. If you've done your job correctly, they should be as relaxed as they possibly can be so you're chances are pretty fuckin' good here. Just make sure you save the prostate massage until you are getting ready to enter the final phase of the massage...
Phase 5: Release!
Unless you're playing some particularly cruel denial games with your partner, you're going to want to release all of that sexual energy you've built up throughout the massage. How you do this is going to depend on what you and your partner are particularly into, but I suggest taking things nice and slow, either way.
Personally, I like to receive a bit of oral and prostate massage to finish me off when I am on the receiving end of the massage, but my partner prefers to transition from that into a nice slow bang until he blows. Again, you know your partner best and are way more suited to deciding how to finish your guy off than I am. Use your good judgment here but try to maintain that slow, sensuous energy right up to the end and don't skimp on the cuddling when it's all over!
If you are playing some particularly cruel denial games, keep building them up until they are about to blow and slap that chastity cage on them right before they do or simply ruin their orgasm. Damn, you are one mean bitch!
Suggestions For Oils, Lotions, Candles, And Toys
I'll start this off by pointing out that all your really need for a good erotic massage is your hands and a decent massage oil. That being said, a little luxury never hurt anyone and toys always make things more interesting!
Here are the things I like to have on hand when I am getting or giving an erotic massage:
For my money, Kama Sutra is unbeatable when it comes to massage products. They have an extreme dedication to using high-quality ingredients and added botanicals that help promote healthy, elastic skin. In the end, though, I find these oils simply smell better than others, my favorite being the vanilla sandalwood scent.
Yup! Kama Sutra again. I like to use massage oils and candles together for erotic massage. I light the candle at the beginning and use the oil for the first round of body massage and break out the warm candle oil when it's time to start teasing by dropping warm splatters here and there in sexy places and rubbing it in.
The "wax" gets hot enough that you notice it, but not so hot that it hurts. It adds a delightful and surprising element to the massage and the heated oil really brings the relaxation up a notch. Again, I love their vanilla sandalwood scent but there are others to choose from if that's not your thing.
While there are a number of awesome items you could use to help you give a better massage that ranges from vibrating gloves to the iconic Magic Wand. My favorite happens to be this Jimmyjane ceramic massage stone.
It's simple, inexpensive, comfortable to use, and it is great for both relaxing or teasing your partner because it vibrates. It can be held in a number of ways and features a well-designed shape with different contact points to help you really get in there and loosen those muscles up. On top of all that, it cost less than twenty-five bucks!
Bringing It All Together
When it's all said and done, the main things you need to remember when giving a good erotic massage is to take it slow, build the sexual pressure, and, more importantly, the intimacy as you move through the phases.
It's also important not to skimp on the simple things, like setting the mood. Erotic massage is more intimate and sexy when the atmosphere is one that is intimate and sexy. That's just science right there!
The point is, mastering erotic massage is an incredible way to add some spark to your bedroom life, grow closer to your partner, and explore what makes them tick on a sensual and sexual level. It's an opportunity to explore your partner and grow closer to one another that shouldn't be passed up!
