I Think I'm in Love With Two People...What Now?
Whenever love pops into our brains, epic, passionate romances come to mind. We distinctly think of Jack and Rose (and how Rose should've pulled Jack on the door she was floating on). We also think of Magnus Bane and Alec Lightwood and their sexy romance filled with darkness, magic, and teenage problems. Some of you are on the darker side of things and think about Ennis del Mar and Jack Twist, about their tragic love in the mountains (and about how Jake Gyllenhaal's character took it like a champ with only spit). And all of you Disney gays out there think about your favorite Disney princess of choice and the accompanying prince.
Whatever the case and genre, there's one thing they all have in common: they're all epic stories with "I will love you forever" s and, more importantly, monogamous couples that cannot express enough how much their hearts burn for one another.
So, with that in mind, It's perfectly normal to be completely afraid of the idea of falling in love with two people at the same time. Especially since, in mainstream media, we often see how love triangles only hurt people and leave the protagonist alone and confused (or, in the case of Bella Swan, pregnant and with the third party falling for your baby).
But before delving into the ins and outs of loving two people (and if that's even possible), let's start by making sense of what loving actually is and what it entails.
What is love? Baby don't hurt me no more...
Love as a concept is big, ambiguous, and hard to define, especially when considering what it means in different cultures and languages. But, in the same vein, it is a universal concept, is the one thing every single person on the planet can feel in common with the rest of the world. There's no single person who, in their own language, hasn't said "I love..." at least once in their life. Of course, this could refer to family members, pets, objects, foods, cum, dick... but the sentiment is the same, no matter what.
With that in mind, we know for a fact that it is possible to love more than one person at a time. Our hearts (figuratively speaking, of course) have the capacity to hold lots of people and things in them at the same time. Not only that but passion is also involved even when we're not talking about two lovers. You can see that, very clearly, with how fandoms work. People will defend an imaginary universe with all their might (think #ReleaseTheSnyderCut) because of how much they can relate to and love fictional characters and universes.
Love is powerful and has many shapes and forms, so it's no wonder it can also be confusing and messy. This is why it's very easy to mistake with other feelings you might experience. Strong chemistry with someone can emulate the feeling of being in love, like a potent drug that makes everything hazy. If you feel chemistry with someone that's not your current partner, for example, you might get scared and think you're in love with someone else when you're actually not.
Lusting for someone is also something that can become confusing. While it's normal to lust for Chris Hemsworth while dating Tom Hiddleston, if it's acted upon and you fuck with Chris, all that passion and carnal desire can mess up with your brains. You might end up thinking it's something more, that is love.
Love, real love like the one in the movies, develops over time. It's more than being sexually excited by the other person and more than simple chemistry. Love is a deep connection that grows stronger, one filled with passion. As Adam Forrest from the movie The Perfect Man said: Love is friendship on fire. And friendship is not something fleeting that develops in a few hours.
Juggling two hearts + mine
With a clearer picture of what love is, we can come to a straightforward conclusion: being in love with two people simultaneously is not a very common thing. If you've ever been in a relationship, think about how much it takes to make it work (it's totally worth it, not saying otherwise). Now, imagine doing all that work and multiply it by two. Also, add lots of stress and anxiousness related to the fact that you're juggling two relationships, most probably in secret, at the same time.
I got overwhelmed just writing that paragraph. It's one thing to juggle two dicks simultaneously (it can be so much fun!), but juggling two hearts... yikes! So, the answer is yes, you can be in love with two people at the same time, but I think the question you should be asking is, do you want to be?
Now, some of you might be thinking, "Well, of course I don't want to put in all that work, but it's too late! I accidentally fell in love with two incredible guys already. I'm doomed!". And, while I cannot help you with the doomed part, I can tell you that it was no accident. Falling in love with someone is a choice. As I said before, love develops over time. So, if you fell in love, truly, that means you decided to open up (not only your ass but your heart), bring your walls down, see the magic that's behind someone's eyes and be vulnerable. You're in this situation because you decided to be, and now you gotta face the music.
You, Me, and Dupree
Falling for a second person can also happen even if you're in a serious relationship. As I said before, it's a choice, but one you can unconsciously make.
Picture this, you're madly in love with your partner, his dick makes you feel things you've never felt before, his cum tastes like candy, he's hot, intelligent, and takes really good care of you. That's it, right? You're set for life! But then, he gets a promotion, he starts traveling a lot, he's constantly tired, and his dick is not fully hard anymore. During his travels, a new guy joins the place you work. He's hot, funny, and makes you feel sexy as fuck. You start opening up, become close friends, invite him over to play videogames when your partner is away, and end up playing strip Mario Kart... you see where I'm going?
You're not a horrible person, neither is your partner. Someone came and made you feel things you weren't' feeling anymore, and you opened a door that led to a confusing place. Suppose you're really committed to your partner, and not looking to open things up in any way. In that case, this is the point where you both need to have a serious conversation. In fact, you should probably have it even before you get to this point, the minute you feel you're becoming distant. You either end things amicably or find ways to reignate the flame so that you don't need "new-guy" to fill the void you're feeling (amongst other things).
In the times we live in, you might think, "Well, why not just bring new-guy into the relationship and be a throuple?". While I don't have anything against throuples, I don't think the best way to start is by announcing to your current partner that you're already in love with someone else. This way, you're probably hurting him and definitely closing the door on the venture. He might also not click with "new- guy," so it's not so simple.
You might also be thinking, "Why not just open the relationship?". But the same thing applies here; if you're already in love with someone else as well, you're probably about to hurt someone. Because, in the end, you're emotionally cheating, which could be considered worse than when you're only having some sex on the side. Not that I'm encouraging that. I'm all for couples with sexually open relationships, as longs as they're handled with honesty.
Through the looking glass...
If you don't want to be in a throuple or polyamorous, but you're already developing strong feelings for someone other than your partner, then it's time to take a long, hard look in the mirror.
I'm not saying this to try and shame you for being such a loving person—quite the opposite. If you're already in this situation, the first thing to do is to FORGIVE YOURSELF. Every relationship involves two people, so if you're in this situation, it's not just your fault. Also, you're just human. There are now two people that meet the desires you have for love, lust, connection, and cock.
You're in this situation, so there's obviously something missing in your current relationship. At this point, avoid being too rash. Don't go making hasty decisions that could cause a lot of hurt to everyone involved.
Before confessing your emotional cheating to Hiddleston and causing hurt to him and Hemsworth, why not try seeing a therapist? Figure out what's going on inside your head and why you felt the need to search for something with someone else instead of opening up to your current partner and fixing things up.
You might discover some underlying issues at the root of everything: you might be afraid of commitment, you might not feel you're worth it, you may think you're too much of a slut to be loved, amongst many other things. You need to figure yourself out, understand what's going inside that pretty little head of yours, and then go and try to fix your relationship (if that's what you decided you want).
Yes, it's possible to love two people at the same time. If you're just too open and free to be tied to one single person, then, by all means, go live your best life with as many partners as you want (the easiest way to get in a bukkake). But be sure to go into any relationship with an open heart, an open mind, and an honesty policy. Enjoy your multiple lovers, but don't go hurting people in the process.
If that's not you, and you're just looking for the one dick that fits for life, then start by loving yourself, understanding your wants and needs, and learning to communicate. Choose to love your partner each and every day and tell him whenever he's not doing the same with you. Respect his life, set healthy boundaries, and then walk hand in hand into the sunset, just like in your favorite love story. Love should always be a good thing; start with yourself and then light up the world with it!