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Newbie's BDSM Guide

newbies bdsm guide

BDSM

Power has been called "the ultimate aphrodisiac" and there is no place where this is more evident than in the bedrooms of BDSM enthusiasts. The common misconception is that BDSM is abusive, degrading, and evidence of a sick mind is entirely a product of media sensationalism. In fact, BDSM is about trust, communication, and openness about what makes us tick. Studies actually show that couples who engage in BDSM are actually bonded more tightly and are more trusting and well adjusted than those who don't.

It makes sense, it takes a lot of trust to allow someone to probe your limits without surpassing them. You have to be pretty damn close to another person just to confide your most secret and taboo desires to another person, let alone actually enacting them! Besides, most people who view BDSM imagery would have to admit, if they're being honest, that they're more than a little curious about this whole world of sexuality that often remains an intriguing mystery to those who remain outside of its studded leather walls.

So, whether you're an old dom looking to learn a few new tricks or someone who is just now taking their first steps into the dungeon dimensions of their sexuality, this guide will help you get a feel for all of the nifty little gadgets, paddles, and various accoutrements found in the heady world of BDSM.

Chastity


A lot of BDSM's appeal comes from interactions and exchanges of power between participants. One of the most popular ways of giving up or seizing power over another is through chastity and denial play. What could be more submissive than literally handing over the keys to your pleasure to another person and letting them decide when you deserve release?

Aside from the denial of physical pleasure, many guys like the feminizing effect that being locked in a cage provides. For instance, guys wearing cages have to sit down to pee and many doms go so far as to only allow their male subs sexual release through anal orgasm, denying them any penile stimulation whatsoever.

No matter what your reasons or level of dedication to delightful depravity, there is a chastity cage for everyone! If you'd like to combine sounding and chastity, you'll probably want to have a look at this 6-ring chastity cage or this locking urethral brace.

If you'd like to add a little charge to your chastity play, you'll definitely want to check out an electro-stim compatible cage like the Zeus Electro Lockdown.

If you're not looking for anything too fancy or are just looking to see what all the fuss is about, this beginner-friendly cage is just thing to get you started!

Electro Stimulation

If one were to imagine a stereotypical torture scene from a movie, one of the scenarios that would pop into the mind of someone with a more modern bent would probably involve some dude getting his junk hooked up to a car battery or something along those lines. It's one of the most terrifying things a person could think of and that's exactly the subconscious fear that makes electro-stim toys such an effective BDSM tool.

That subconscious fear is never actually realized, of course, because the truth of these toys is that they are so completely removed from the actual experience of being electrically tortured that it's ridiculous to compare the two. The fantasy is what's intriguing.

In fact, men who use electro-stim toys don't usually even describe the experience as painful. They tend to say it feels like someone stroking their penis inside and out. I don't know about you, but that sounds pretty good! That's not to say they can't be used to inflict a little bit of delicious, pin-point accurate pain when used right, they really can. It all depends on how generous your dom is feeling at the time!

If you're intrigued by the idea of adding a little charge to your sexy time, you might want to get started with the basics, like a simple wand or couple's kit. Another great way to get started is with an anal electro toy like the Mystim Big Bend It to add a little zip to your solo or couple's anal play. Sex will never be the same again!

Gags

What's BDSM without gags, amirite?! There's nothing quite as delightful as hearing the muffled squeals and moans of a sub as you put the screws to them. Whether you need something like this for a little Puppy Play or you need something like this inflatable dildo gag to silence your sub while they pleasure your hole, you're, ahem, bound to find it in our extensive collection of gags.

Masks And Blindfolds

Anticipation is one of the most effective tools in any doms arsenal, and nothing keeps a sub quivering with anticipation like not being able to see what you're doing. We mentioned earlier that BDSM is, ultimately, about trust, and nothing builds trust like allowing your dom to take away your sight! 

Blindfolding is also a great way to heighten physical sensation because everything seems so much more intense when you take sight out of the equation. We offer a well-curated collection of blindfolds and masks to help you keep your sub helplessly squirming in the darkness.

Nipple Toys

Suck'em, tweak'em, squeeze'em, or pinch'em, you gotta love nipples! The nipples are a favorite target for savvy doms who know these strange bits of our body for what they are, a cluster of intensely sensitive nerves densely packed together in two neat little packages on either side of our chests that are just begging to be played with.

If you're looking for clamps, you can't do much better than these elegantly designed Monarch Nipple Vices. These clamps were designed to allow you to put extra weight on and increase the pressure of their grip as you add more weight. If you like a little vibration in your clamps, you'll definitely want to check out these vibrating nipple clamps from Pipedream.

If nipple suckers are more your bag, check out these incredible suckers from Colt.

Paddles

Nothing quite puts the "D" in "BDSM" quite like a good paddling. Whether it's a light spanking with a broad paddle or a good, solid thrashing with a proper flogger, we've got all the paddles you're looking for to really make an impact on your sub!

Penis Jewelry

A big part of the fun of BDSM comes from looking the part! You can find all of your penis jewelry and fashionable sounding toys here!

Restraints

Even the best doms can't do everything. You can't easily restrain your sub, mete out their punishment, and have your way with them all at the same time, you've only got two hands! Luckily, your sub's only got two hands too, and they're easy to restrain with the right tools!

Here you'll find our extensive collection of bondage tape, bicep binders, collars, and harnesses. We have everything you need to keep your sub firmly bound and at your mercy.



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